# That ONE fucking fly.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 14, 2006, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363 "2006-11-14T08:30:12Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/1 "2006-11-14T08:30:12Z")
I am a regular user of public transport in the form of trains, trams and buses. Apart from having to put up with cell-phone users, meth-heads mouthing off blasphemies at all and sundry, and homeless folk using the seats as their doss-down, there is always **one fucking fly**.
Now, this fly is generally a little 'un, not a blowie. It buzzes gently around the window next to you for a couple of minutes, lulling you into a false sense of complacency.
Then it decides to land on your neck.
So, you swat it away.
Within a nanosecond, it is on your eyebrow.
So, you swat it away.
It returns to your ear, and before you have a chance to shoo it away, it’s on your nose, then your eyebrow again, and then it throws caution to the wind and goes for the really sensitive area on your neck (yet again). You swat it away because it is annoying the bejesus outta you.
So you move seats, and the contemptuous fuck follows you, this time playing touchie-feelies with the right upper-quadrant of your cheek. Argggghhhhhhh.
In the meantime, you look like a complete and utter loon, swatting and slapping at (apparently) imaginary crawlies every few seconds. And there’s only ever just ONE of the little cunts, and while they are annoying the fuck out of you, they are leaving the other passengers in respite…but they’re looking at you strangely wondering if you are one of the meth-users with a bad case of the heebie-jeebies.
No, I don’t smell funny.
No, I don’t look like a female-fly either.
---
### Author:  [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/2 "2006-11-14T08:36:58Z")
Been watching The Wedge again?
---
### Author:  [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/3 "2006-11-14T08:46:03Z")
[QUOTE=Caught@Work]
Been watching The Wedge again?
[/QUOTE]
Fuck. Are you telling me that my pit thread has already been done? By The Wedge? ☹
Yeah, well I’ve never watched it, and the fucking fly that bugged me today and two days ago and a week ago was a gazillion times more fucking annoying than any fly that crapped on that program.
😃
---
### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/4 "2006-11-14T08:50:01Z")
Was Yoko Ono on the bus with a camera?
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### Author:  [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/5 "2006-11-14T08:54:50Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers]
Was Yoko Ono on the bus with a camera?
[/QUOTE]
There’s a guy who reckons he’s John the Baptist, complete with robes and staff, but he doesn’t wear round glasses or carry a camera so I guess he’s not Yoko.
😉
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### Author:  [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/6 "2006-11-14T08:57:38Z")
So, is it just me? Haven’t any of you experienced the darstadly experience of having a single wee fly annoying the buggery out of you on public transport??
😕
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/7 "2006-11-14T09:02:34Z")
I went into a bakery and asked to buy a wasp. They said “we don’t sell wasps here”. I said “Well, there’s one in the window”.
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### Author:  [@Br\_er\_Lapin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Br_er_Lapin)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/8 "2006-11-14T09:14:07Z")
Even worse is when they get in the house, and insist upon landing on you while you’re sleeping. You’re too sleepy and lazy to get up and kill the damn thing, so you end up laying in bed desperately trying to sleep while swatting the bastard every three seconds. After half an hour, you finally give up.
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### Author:  [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/9 "2006-11-14T09:18:35Z")
[QUOTE=Br’er Lapin]
Even worse is when they get in the house, and insist upon landing on you while you’re sleeping. You’re too sleepy and lazy to get up and kill the damn thing, so you end up laying in bed desperately trying to sleep while swatting the bastard every three seconds. After half an hour, you finally give up.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, but the ones in the house, the single ones, tend to be blowies (at least down here in Australia) and they like to make noise and dance around the room but mostly not on your anatomy.
The ones I am talking about are the flies with separation issues…the ones that feel a desperate need to be close to you when you’re sitting there trying to read your newspaper.
THEY’RE the fuckers that need to die, but unfortunately, they’re too quick to be swatted with the rolled-up sports section of the paper.
:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/10 "2006-11-14T09:44:36Z")
[QUOTE=kambuckta]
Yeah, but the ones in the house, the single ones, tend to be blowies (at least down here in Australia) and they like to make noise and dance around the room but mostly not on your anatomy.
The ones I am talking about are the flies with separation issues…the ones that feel a desperate need to be close to you when you’re sitting there trying to read your newspaper.
THEY’RE the fuckers that need to die, but unfortunately, they’re too quick to be swatted with the rolled-up sports section of the paper.
:rolleyes:
[/QUOTE]
I find that those flies are Australian. Proper 'Merkin flies go away after awhile. Australian flies will follow you until one of you drops dead. Fortunately they have a shorter life span than humans.
Cheers,
G
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### Author:  [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/11 "2006-11-14T09:50:04Z")
[QUOTE=Gleena]
Australian flies will follow you until one of you drops dead. Fortunately they have a shorter life span than humans.
[/QUOTE]
😃
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### Author:  [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/12 "2006-11-14T11:53:48Z")
Flies on public transport are like crying babies, drunks, or talkative loonies. You never see TWO of them and then none the next trip. Nosirree, there is ONE. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I think they have a roster.
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### Author:  [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/13 "2006-11-14T12:21:32Z")
Flies are Gods creatures you know. It could be lost and/or looking for its brethren.
:)🙂
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### Author:  [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/14 "2006-11-14T13:47:05Z")
Maybe it was screaming **“Help me! Help me!”** and you were too self absorbed to notice.
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### Author:  [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/15 "2006-11-14T18:29:06Z")
I am weird but I laughed my ass off at that line oh those many years ago.
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### Author:  [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/16 "2006-11-14T20:03:35Z")
Perhaps they were following you’re perfume or hair spray. Anyway, just rub a little “Off” or other repellant on your arms. The scent isn’t bad if even noticeable. Maybe that’ll help.
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### Author:  [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/17 "2006-11-14T20:12:24Z")
But how if that fly had a father and mother?!
How would he hang his slender gilded wings
And buzz lamenting doings in the air!
Poor harmless fly,
That, with his pretty buzzing melody,
Came here to make us merry!
---
### Author:  [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/18 "2006-11-14T21:39:27Z")
[QUOTE=kambuckta]
So, is it just me? Haven’t any of you experienced the darstadly experience of having a single wee fly annoying the buggery out of you on public transport??
[/QUOTE]
No, it’s not just you. I’ve experienced it too. And don’t forget the bogong moths.
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### Author:  [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/19 "2006-11-14T21:44:04Z")
[QUOTE=Jake]
Perhaps they were following you’re perfume or hair spray. Anyway, just rub a little “Off” or other repellant on your arms. The scent isn’t bad if even noticeable. Maybe that’ll help.
[/QUOTE]
I’ve used every repellant under the sun back when I used to ride to work and flies plagued my every mile.
They don’t work. I found I had more flies with the repellant than au naturel :smack:
I know the horror of the Single Fly, but I’ve only ever encountered it on Sydney Buses and trains. So my working theory is either that it doesn’t happen down here, or that there’s people much smellier than me on our buses and trains that attract all the flies away from me. The latter theory is the most likely one, but it’s nice to dream.
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### Author:  [@blinkingblinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blinkingblinking)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2006, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-one-fucking-fly/380363/20 "2006-11-14T22:48:32Z")
Wait until January there will be four flies annoying you on the train. But you will be thankful because once you get outside there will be 15-20 buzzing around your face
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