# That’s it. I’m taking up smoking. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 23, 2001, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760 "2001-08-23T18:52:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/1 "2001-08-23T18:52:24Z")
It’s got to go out tomorrow. When you asked last week how much time I needed, I told you I needed four days. You said that wouldn’t be a problem, they almost had it ready to go. Then you came back on Monday and told me it wouldn’t come in until yesterday. Yes, _technically_ two minutes before quitting time qualifies as yesterday… Now I have two days to put it together when I told you I needed four. Yes, I know you don’t give a damn about how much stress you’re giving me. I know you don’t give a damn if I have to stay late rather than going home to take care of my wife who’s seven months pregnant. And I certainly do appreciate you and my boss coming by every thirty minutes to see how much progress I’m making. Yes, I _am_ certainly aware that this is our biggest product, going out annually to every one of our customers. I’m also aware that the brilliant committee has been fiddling with it for the last three months but was only able to get me the final version of the copy “yesterday”. Oh, wait, that’s NOT the final version? Committee’s still trying to wrangle the numbers so they all don’t get egg on their faces? And you’re not quite sure exactly when they will get them to me. Let me prognosticate: I predict a delivery time of two-minutes before quitting time tomorrow. I’ve been ninety-nine percent stress-free for the past three years. But now I can feel that my entire body is completely tense. Today I’m going to go out and buy a pack of cigarettes at lunch because that’s the only quick-fix for stress that I have left. I used to savor that nice little buzz they gave me that sent away the stress, but I haven’t had need of that until now. My lungs and I thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/2 "2001-08-23T19:12:58Z")
NO, please, no, don’t do it! Think of your lungs! Think of all the cancers! Think of the children! (I don’t know exactly where the children fit in, but everyone’s always saying it.) Just keep saying to yourself, “This, too, shall pass.” Maybe yell at a few people, too. That usually helps. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/3 "2001-08-23T19:23:18Z")
Oh hell, **Tygr** , go ahead and spark one if it makes you feel better. Going postal on these idiots is probably not an option… ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/4 "2001-08-23T19:24:30Z")
Tygr, how about instead of smoking the cigarettes yourself, you tie your boss, his imp, and all the other enema-guzzling ass weasels to their chairs and force them to smoke a pack each? I bet that’d help your stress even more. ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/5 "2001-08-23T19:29:27Z")
You want some REAL stress relief? Try smoking crack. Then you’ll have an excuse to kick some ass around the workplace, and hell, the way things are going you might even be able to claim it as a disability 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/6 "2001-08-23T19:36:36Z")
**Tygr** , before you do can you take this physical exam for this life insurance policy I’m gonna take out on you? ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/7 "2001-08-23T20:37:15Z")
If you want to smoke then smoke. If it kills you, it won’t be for quite a while and we’re all going to die of something. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/8 "2001-08-23T21:33:11Z")
Oh, alright. I won’t start smoking. Prostitutes it is, then. 😃 [sub]And here’s some good news for all the none of you that care: Smarmy little ass-monkey just came by and told me that the committee’s numbers won’t be in until Monday anyway and he went ahead told them that because of the delay I couldn’t be expected to have anything ready until Wednesday. This is the sound of me breathing deeply as the tension and stress flows out of me, unclouded by cigarette smoke. Yes, I knew you’d be proud of me.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/9 "2001-08-23T21:39:11Z")
Don’t smoke; go to the gym instead. You can work off your frustration by punishing the weights, and if you have a speed bag handy, you can punch that baby and pretend it’s your boss’s face. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/10 "2001-08-23T21:48:55Z")
\Gym? What is this…gym…you speak of?\ jayjay (smoker, fat person, lazy-ass…you know you want me…) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/11 "2001-08-23T22:00:22Z")
[Homer drooling] mmmmm… **jayjay** … [/Homer drooling] ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/12 "2001-08-23T22:05:21Z")
That’sa OK, **Jay-Jay**. I’ll let you play with my biceps and firm, hairy, pectoral muscles sometime. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/13 "2001-08-23T22:23:48Z")
All I know is that five out of five members of the shortlist of Most Gorgeous Guys Matt Knows have never, to my knowledge, seen the inside of a gym. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/14 "2001-08-23T22:36:20Z")
Um…not to tell anyone what to do, but since I’m kind of partially responsible for this little hijack, can I please ask that if we’re going to have ButchGayGuy vs. FemGayGuy again, that we take it to either a new thread or continue it in an existing thread of that subject (if any are currently open)? jayjay (not fem. not butch. just…jayjay) ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/15 "2001-08-23T22:40:55Z")
> [@](#): > > All I know is that five out of five members of the shortlist of Most Gorgeous Guys Matt Knows have never, to my knowledge, seen the inside of a gym. Well, I’m just saying that going to the gym is better for working off stress than smoking. And I’m reliably informed that, with respect to **Matt\_mcl** ’s Gorgeous Guys list, some folks find in-shape guys kind of, well, “hot”. Not that being in-shape is a necessary criterion of sexual attractiveness. My BF is short, tubby, and absolutely smokin’ hot. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/16 "2001-08-23T23:13:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > **Not that being in-shape is a necessary criterion of sexual attractiveness.** I more or less depend on that being a Basic Truth… 😃 jayjay (King o’the Hijacks) ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/17 "2001-08-23T23:17:31Z")
Also, does it need pointing out that going to the gym does not automatically turn a man into a hulking neanderthal? A man can be “in shape” and still be remarkably svelte. I’m with **gobear** on this: exercise is a great stress reliever. So is sex. And kicking puppies. And pushing old people down the escalators at the mall. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/18 "2001-08-23T23:25:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*That’sa OK, Jay-Jay. I’ll let you play with my biceps and firm, hairy, pectoral muscles sometime. \*\* Would I have to fight your BF first? _looks at Gobear’s description of his BF again_ Rephrase that…can I wrestle your boyfriend first? 😉 jayjay (“I wanna be bad…”) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/19 "2001-08-23T23:26:40Z")
Oh, and massive apologies to **Tygr**. Betcha you’ve never had one of your Pit threads hijack into a gay flirt thread before! jayjay ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760/20 "2001-08-23T23:29:49Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **matt\_mcl** _ > > All I know is that five out of five members of the shortlist of Most Gorgeous Guys Matt Knows have never, to my knowledge, seen the inside of a gym. Well, since I _know_ **I** am on that short list (and if I’m not, don’t even tell me), I must respectably contradict my dear **matt** ; I have, indeed, seen the inside of a gym (and no, not on my knees in the shower, either! 😛 ). I haven’t been there in a few months, though… I will also agree that it’s as good a way as any to relieve stress, which I believe was at least a small part of the OP. Esprix [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-it-i-m-taking-up-smoking/77760.md?page=2)