# That’s Some Bad Puns... The MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [October 8, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905 "2007-10-08T04:02:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/1 "2007-10-08T04:02:58Z")
Ok, I assume most of y’all know that Dean Martin classic [That’s Amore](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5847453376228470882&q=that%27s+amore&total=313&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=1). There was this thread at Skip’s Magic Board that got outta hand like pretty much every thread does over there and went from gluin’ stuff to various parts of **gt’s** body (if you want to know what, you gotta go over there, register yourself and see, so go google Skip’s place) to _That’s Amore_ puns. So, of course, I hadda get in on all the puns, thus here are my contributions. Feel free to add your own. When our habits are strange and our customs deranged that’s our mores When a sand-coated board buffs your nails, yes milord that’s emory. If a glacier’s retreat piles up stones at its feet that’s a moraine. What the palest young man needs to get a good tan, that’s some more rays. When Othello’s poor wife, she gets stabbed with a knife that’s a Moor, eh? When a Japanese knight used a sword in a fight that’s Samurai. When you toast marshmallows, Place on grahams, add chocos That’s a 'smore Runs on gas, Goes putt-putt And your grass, it can cut That’s a mower eh? Milwauk’ goil, newsroom toil Mister Grant is her foil That’s a Mary When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest That’s some more "A"s! When your horse chews dried grass, And then begs for more, alas, That’s some more hay. When you go to a dance, Wearin’ your fancy pants, That’s a soiree! Do feel free to add your own or carry on about whatever like usual, I’m good either way. HAPPY MONDAY EVERYBODY! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/2 "2007-10-08T04:03:50Z")
Ha! First to reply! Yay! 😃 now, I’ll read it 😃 eta: When an eel swims by with a gleem in its eye\* That’s a Moray \*I’ve never actually seen a Moray eel with a gleem in it’s eye, but I wanted to add at least one stanza to the list ---
**Author:** ![The\_Blue-Sighted\_Shadow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecae2f/32.png) [@The\_Blue-Sighted\_Shadow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Blue-Sighted_Shadow)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/3 "2007-10-08T04:03:59Z")
Drat! Missed it by \*this \*much! Now I have to read the OP. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/4 "2007-10-08T04:05:01Z")
Y’all are either dkrnu or as caffienated up as me. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/5 "2007-10-08T04:05:31Z")
The Othello one really made me laugh. 😃 I’ve been spending the last hour browsing teaching jobs across the country. I should probably turn my attention to the job I actually have right now and get to bed if I’m to rise at 6am. :: groan :: ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/6 "2007-10-08T04:11:32Z")
**Haze** - since you’re a singer, you (and anyone else interested) would appreciate this (which I’d posted in the last MMP, but it might have gotten overlooked due to swampbeer’s and my little jockeying for last position game): those of you with iTunes - check out the new self titled album by Jeanne Marie Boes (she’s one of my chorus mates) - she sings and plays piano and I think (but I’m not sure) she wrote all the songs on the album. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Blue-Sighted\_Shadow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecae2f/32.png) [@The\_Blue-Sighted\_Shadow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Blue-Sighted_Shadow)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/7 "2007-10-08T04:11:58Z")
**Swampy** , puns are supposed to be _bad_, not funny! :mad: 😃 Is the weekend over with already? This “working” thing really bites. Why, oh why, won’t somebody come along and support me in the style to which I wish to become accustomed? ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/8 "2007-10-08T04:13:58Z")
When there’s weapons galore behind a closed door That’s Armory ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/9 "2007-10-08T04:15:39Z")
It’s a good thing I have a bad memory for puns. I know I’ve probably seen them before, but I giggled a lot anyway. No amore puns from me though…I can barely manage haiku, don’t ask me for anything that rhymes (even badly)… I slept from 10 to 11 or so. And now I’m awake again. I think I’ve slept too much this weekend. I’m hoping to have one productive weekend day tomorrow. But not counting on it. I’m paranoid that I’ll forget that I’m getting my hair cut. It’s normally on my calendar at work, but I don’t have to work tomorrow, so… ::Pause to go put note on fridge:: Guess I’ll try falling asleep again. Hopefully I’ll do better than I did yesterday. GT ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/10 "2007-10-08T04:26:50Z")
[QUOTE=anyrose] When there’s weapons galore behind a closed door That’s Armory [/QUOTE] HEE! I like that one **BioRosie** Oh and the eel one… there was one at Skip’s place that someone else did before me but one I like a lot… When you swim in the sea And an eel bites your knee That’s a Moray! There was also another one that I really like from Skip’s place. Since the person who did it is also a doper, I’ll post it here. Hey **Baker** if you do a vanity search, you’ll see this! 😛 Make a white sauce with cheese Pour it over green peas That’s a mornay! ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/11 "2007-10-08T04:37:53Z")
**rosie** , your friend has a wonderful voice. 🙂 I love hearing singing with just piano or guitar. Okay, really, I’m going to bed. ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/12 "2007-10-08T05:07:34Z")
Morning all! Great OP, **swampus**! Sorry I have no skill whatsoever in that direction, so I will just have to content myself with enjoy others’ efforts! Not much to add this morning - I did watch _Kinky Boots_ on satellite TV last night - very funny and at times poignant movie, so my song this morning comes from the soundtrack: [James Brown]This is a man’s world This is a man’s world But it would be nothing Nothing without a woman to care You see man made the cars To take us over the world Man made the train To carry the heavy load Man made the electro lights To take us out of the dark Man made the bullet for the war Like Noah made the ark This is a man’s man’s, man’s world But it would be nothing Nothing without a woman to care …[/James Brown] Have a great day folks! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/13 "2007-10-08T05:11:22Z")
Nice song **Dotty**. Ok, so where’s all the other late nighters? I need some entertainment. I gotta stay awake folks. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/14 "2007-10-08T05:16:43Z")
Hey, Desdemona wasn’t stabbed with a knife! I can’t believe I just caught that. My Brit Lit professor would be ashamed. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/15 "2007-10-08T05:18:37Z")
Apparently I’m secretly getting ready to work 3rd shift, even though that would be highly impractical in my actual job. Although I might get more done because I’d miss meetings and not be interrupted by anyone. Still awake, **swampy**? GT ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/16 "2007-10-08T05:18:59Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] Hey, Desdemona wasn’t stabbed with a knife! I can’t believe I just caught that. My Brit Lit professor would be ashamed. [/QUOTE] Two more cups of coffee and I’ll go tell him myself. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/17 "2007-10-08T06:13:41Z")
[QUOTE=swampy] Ok, so where’s all the other late nighters? I need some entertainment. I gotta stay awake folks. [/QUOTE] Well, you got your OP up before I got myself up… so what do you expect? 😛 Up. At work. About to go get some caffeine. Otherwise, I got nuttin’ (hey, it’s barely 8 AM… it’s a wonder if this post doesn’t look drunk!) ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/18 "2007-10-08T06:22:16Z")
[QUOTE=Lunch] Up. At work. About to go get some caffeine. Otherwise, I got nuttin’ (hey, it’s barely 8 AM… it’s a wonder if this post doesn’t look drunk!) [/QUOTE] But you aren’t ignoring me, are you?! :dubious: Hey **Dotty** , I got no song tonight. I’ve been singing a real cool church song, but I’m not sure if you’re into that, so I won’t post it. I’m not Christian myself, so the words aren’t real meaningful to me in that context, but the tune is pretty cool. And **swampy** , I got no puns either. But I’m doing my part to keep you up. WAKE UP SWAMPY!! ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/19 "2007-10-08T06:25:04Z")
[QUOTE=Heffalump and Roo] But you aren’t ignoring me, are you?! :dubious: [/QUOTE] I didn’t ignore any of your previous posts in this thread… Which means I think I’ve earned the right to ignore this one. 😃 Oh, wait… ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/20 "2007-10-08T06:33:10Z")
[QUOTE=Lunch] Which means I think I’ve earned the right to ignore this one. 😃 Oh, wait… [/QUOTE] ::breaking out the clothesline:: (I learned something from **Dotty** ) Be careful! (where’s the warning smilie?) Luckily for you though, I’m just about to go to bed. So behave! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905.md?page=2)