# That’s Some Bad Puns... The MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [October 8, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905 "2007-10-08T04:02:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Alistair\_McCello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@Alistair\_McCello](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alistair_McCello)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/241 "2007-10-11T03:18:05Z")
I don’t think I have parallel parked since my driving test 7-8 years ago. **rosie** , I can’t say that I know anything about High School Musical (or really have any interest in it), but I do think that squid are pretty darn neat. Is there any chance that you have some close connection to the squid in that tank that would warrant me getting your autograph? Latest update in the saga of my life: My father actually responded to the email that I sent and we had dinner tonight. But hold your happy responses, the main gist of what he had to say after the rather pleasant dinner conversation was over was that he will not budge on his position that he will be cutting off all contact with me unless I essentially live by his rules. Since I have no intentions of letting him control my life like that, unless he changes his mind (as stubborn as my father is I don’t ever see that happening) we won’t be talking again for a long time. I would be disappointed about it but I pretty much knew that this was going to be the end result once he first reacted to **meli** moving in this summer, so I am already over the disappointment part. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/242 "2007-10-11T03:28:29Z")
Home. Tired. Beerverage. I think I’ll go look at dogs tomorrow. **{{{{Jahdra}}}} {{{{SCL}}}} {{{{Ali}}}}** ---
**Author:** ![The\_Blue-Sighted\_Shadow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecae2f/32.png) [@The\_Blue-Sighted\_Shadow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Blue-Sighted_Shadow)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/243 "2007-10-11T03:40:26Z")
I wrote up a long post a couple of hours ago and forgot to post. Oh, well, never mind then. Anyway, I did some retail therapy this evening. (Yes, I know, not the way to keep money in the bank account, but I’ve been in denial about how much I weigh now, and clothing that closely resembles sausage casing is never attractive.) I bought a cute teal cardigan, a pink wrap top, and a red kimono-y cardigan. I also bought [these](http://www.dillards.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=301&storeId=301&langId=-1&productId=501318185). Red patent leather, cute \*and \*comfortable. Yay! I \*can \*parallel park, but I prefer not to, especially in my current car. I really want a Mini Cooper (red, of course), so if I end up with one of those parallel parking should be a breeze. **Ali** , I’m sorry to hear that your father is so set in his ways. It’s not cool enough here for a fire, but I do like to smell woodsmoke occasionally. There’s something so cozy about a crackling fire, especially with laurel. Mmmm, Grandma’s house. **Haze** , I’m thinking good thoughts towards a good job for you. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/244 "2007-10-11T04:14:33Z")
Cute shoes, **Jahdra**! I totally covet them. And thanks for the good wishes. 🙂 Just finished an online job application. Applications are a constant reminder of how weird my educational background and work experiences are. They just assume you’ve lived your entire life in the US. They won’t even let me put in international phone numbers for my references! Argh. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/245 "2007-10-11T04:32:50Z")
> [@Haze](#): > > My Classical Chinese teacher in high school used to do that when students were late. er,. . . wha?? For being late, he grabbed guys’ private parts and squeezed? Did I miss something? What did he do to the girls? > [@Lunch](#): > > Well, it you’re treating all the crazy morons of the world the same way you’re treating me… you must be one busy Roo with that clothesline I don’t know _that_ many crazy morons. And clothesline tying goes amazingly fast. 😃 > [@Lunch](#): > > Yes, she is… I didn’t know she swung that way, either! Just cut her loose and leave her here. Take me with you; still tied up is cool, if you want! > But maybe whipped cream instead of Nutella? Yes, I know… I’m such a vanilla sort of guy… Well, that’s what I meant, but **rigs** interpreted it differently. Sorry **rigs** , I don’t swing that way. > [@Lunch](#): > > Sometimes, I manage to get into a sort of “zone,” and suddenly all the problems I’ve been banging my head against for a week seem to be so obvious. I love those days The clothesline must be helping. You’re welcome. But don’t bang too hard, you might hurt yourself. 😛 > [@rebo](#): > > heading to the microwave to warm up my yummy breakfast of leftover fish and scalloped potatoes. What? I tried to let this pass. I really did. But ewwww!! It must taste much better than it sounds. **Dotty** , hugs, smooches and good thoughts headed your way. Bummer about things piling up on you there. Hopefully, today is better. So have a great day today! **Jahdra** , wow. . .lots of stuff. I hope you’re doing OK. > [@puggy](#): > > rigs, have you ever read Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert? It’s not a self-help book at all but it really gives you an insight into why people make the choices they do in their lives. Oooh, that’s my favorite book of late. That and _The Happiness Hypothesis_ by Jonathan Haidt help to give different perspectives and explanations for why we see things differently than others. \*\* swampy\*\*, I’m sure you look f-_aaaaaa_-bu- **lous** in your ts. And without them. 😉 **Ali** , bummer about your dad. But he chose. And I feel sad for him because he’s losing out too. Not the best of days for me here although several good things happened. But I’m thinking about ending the day early. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. Good night, y’all! ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/246 "2007-10-11T04:42:05Z")
**Roo** - he was the homeroom teacher of an all boys’ class, so he never had to deal with girls being late. And yes, he squeezed their balls. It’s okay in Korea, you know, for teachers to abuse their students. Squeezing balls was the least of it - I very clearly remember being hit across the face with a metal cannister for failing to get good grades on some exam or other. Guys were commonly beaten with mop handles across their asses until the handles snapped. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/247 "2007-10-11T06:10:24Z")
**Haze** , :eek: yack!! I suppose they could set the students on fire, but I don’t see the correlation between that and learning. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/248 "2007-10-11T07:28:02Z")
Yay \*\*FCM \*\*and **Rosie** … I’m so proud of \*\*both \*\*of you! 🙂 I’d never \*survive \*here if I couldn’t parallel park :eek: **Haze** , you think the teacher was enjoying himself with those boys? :eek: :mad: Hugs to \*\*SCL \*\*and \*\*Ali \*\*as well {{{ **SCL** }}} {{{ **Ali** }}} > [@Roo](#): > > … And clothesline tying goes amazingly fast. Practice makes perfect, huh? 😃 Anyway, good morning y’all! At work, caffeinated, plugging away (well, mostly. Right now I’m goofing off :)) And “Good Night,” **Roo**! ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/249 "2007-10-11T09:08:15Z")
Big hugs for **Jah** and **SCL** , hope the days pass without too much heartache. The thing that I really hate about Hexmas is that it’s when my father was ill, he died quite suddenly in hospital at the beginning of January so the whole Hexmas and new year thing is always overshadowed by those memories. It was 23 years ago, but I’ve never felt the same about the so-called “festive season” since then. **Rigs** - no, it’s not Tin Knickers, we really do have that level of moronity going on in the Uni’s senior management team. Will somebody please drop the perfect job in my lap 'cos I’m having such a hard time finding it myself? Today I got an email from our holiday company with details of all the stuff they’ve put together for us while we’re in Vegas. Looks like we could be very busy! Yesterday I booked a Grand Canyon trip for me, 'im indoors and our friend Gill so that’ll be fun. We were hoping to do that away from the holiday group but it looks like they’re putting on an optional trip the same day that we’d chosen but never mind, we can still avoid them, it’s a big place, right? ---
**Author:** ![Hastily\_Scrawled\_Message](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5daacb/32.png) [@Hastily\_Scrawled\_Message](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hastily_Scrawled_Message)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/250 "2007-10-11T11:15:15Z")
but I just logged in to SDMB and the MMP. :drive-by punning: When a stooge-gun surprise Zaps you right in the eyes That’s a Moe-Ray… d&r ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/251 "2007-10-11T11:18:27Z")
Up and caffeinated. Another day at work, maybe I can duck out early. ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/252 "2007-10-11T11:19:38Z")
Howdy all! Hey **Posit**! Long time no see!!! {{{ **Jah** }}} {{{ **SCL** }}} {{{ **Ali** }}} Busy day here at the Gumdrop household. Plumbers have been coming and going all morning trying to find a way to reach the old water heater to remove it, so they can install the new one. The scaffolding they originally brought is too wide to fit in the vent shaft, so they finally brought an extension ladder and are getting on with it. About time, considering they first turned up at 9:30am and it’s now 2:15pm! Nothing else to add. I am hoping for some calm after today. Please, please, please … ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/253 "2007-10-11T11:23:49Z")
[QUOTE=Alistair McCello] **rosie** , I can’t say that I know anything about High School Musical (or really have any interest in it), but I do think that squid are pretty darn neat. Is there any chance that you have some close connection to the squid in that tank that would warrant me getting your autograph [/QUOTE] Silly **stringed-thing guy** , not the shlock Disney comes out with every year (tsk), this summer’s [blockbuster!](http://imdb.com/title/tt0427327/). Oh, and the squid isn’t speaking to you. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/254 "2007-10-11T11:39:28Z")
**Ali** , how old are you, and how much is he responsible for your in-process education? Should he be funding you 100% and you’re 18, you’re screwed. Do what he says. ☹ Grad school on a fellowship, and you’re 26, tell him to go pound sand up his ass. :mad: Somewhere in between, play it by ear. :dubious: Off in search of some morning grub, and coffee from Og. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/255 "2007-10-11T11:57:32Z")
**Roo** –I don’t either! But we could have lunch someday–I’ll bring the Nutella. **McCello** –how is **Ali** in all this? I know you are hurting, but it’s no fun to be the one who breaks up parents and offspring. Good luck. And stick to your guns on principle alone (beside loving Ali). I dont’ get some parents–the whole POINT of parenting is to rear independent, functional adults. Or maybe they got a different memo? Am off to work soon. I’m a bit tired of this work stuff. Good news-my daughter will be on TV tomorrow! NBC. Dunno the time, but after 0630 and before 0730. Seems that whatever show it is that is on NBC then is doing some kind of “Ride the Rails” segment where the crew rides the train out to wherever and then interviews the HS sports people and the Deans. Anyway, since she is co-captain of the field hockey team, she gets to go. The other sports are there: football, soccer etc, so chances are she’ll never say anything. But my baby will be FAMOUS! \ **BooFae** -that is just terrible. These people should have been drowned at birth. Or something. I saw the Dementor yesterday and my blood ran cold. She came down to my new department \*just to give one of my coworkers a hug.\*And a whole new level of hell opened before me: it is bad enough to be disliked by this woman, but to be LIKED must be sheer torture. The coworker (when asked) said she doesn’t know why the Dementor hugs her, but she’s ok with it. (I think it’s because said coworker is an aide who also works the floor and probably worked my old unit lately). \ ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/256 "2007-10-11T12:02:02Z")
[QUOTE=anyrose] \ Oh, and the squid isn’t speaking to you. [/QUOTE] **Ali** - I apologize, that was in kinda bad taste given your parental sitch. Forgive me? ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/257 "2007-10-11T12:20:13Z")
Good morning, everyone! I’m so sorry so many of you are sad. Big {{{hugs}}} all around. I came in early today to try to get some jpg’s made of my model, to send to Norway so we might have a conference call before the guy leaves. (They are seven hours ahead.) I tried to last night, but the damn program crashed and it takes an hour just to bring up the damn model, so I brought it up overnight. Have I mentioned I hate this frickin’ project? 😃 Later, gators. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/258 "2007-10-11T12:25:04Z")
Dumb dream report: Last night, I dreamed I was meeting VWife at church to attend a service, and whatever you call the piece that gets played before the prosessional was Deep Purple’s _Smoke On The Water_… **THAT** would be a cool congregation. In other news, I’ve been on a rampage, and the bodies are about to start flying. The area that used to be derelict barns is soft sand that I put a lot of effort into grading for future grass. Late last week, some assholes in heavy vehicles drove through it, and left a lot of tire ruts. :mad: Monday morning, I went to see what I could do about them with a rake, and there was a new set, only hours old. I thought either of the farmers were responsible, but they denied it; one pointed out that there were dual tracks, which meant heavy truck. Suspicion fell on Scott, the neighbor across the road because he drives a logging semi. He denied it, too. We-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l, Scott’s mom saw the perps that did the original set, and it was the power company. A service truck used my yard to turn around :mad: Now, I’m on the warpath. They got a nasty call this morning from me, demanding the attention of the district maintenance supervisor. His guys are going to regrade what they damaged, or face the possibility of me forcibly holding them for the sheriff and charging them with criminal tresspass and vandalism if I catch one of their trucks on my land ever again. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/259 "2007-10-11T13:15:47Z")
Signs that you know you’re grown up and have become the “responsible adult” you always dreaded becoming: 1. You check for nose hair and ear strands when you shave. 2. Kids that want to race you off the stoplight in their Mitsubishi are “stupid kids”. But you whip them anyway without even looking over to acknowledge them at the next light. 3. Your boss is going out of town for 4 work days, and you don’t even THINK how nice it’ll be to sneak out a little easily, because you have SO much work to do, half if it stuff he left you to do. 4. You catch yourself last night telling a neighbor why his driveway needs to be sealcoated, and you MEAN it. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/260 "2007-10-11T13:25:53Z")
I just spent five minutes trying to screw the washer hose onto the tap. By turning the wrong way… Maybe I need to go back to bed. Naw, tea’s made. Hugs for **Jah** , **SCL** , and **CelloGuy**. It’s really nice and cold outside today. So comfy to sleep last night, and today is cooking/laundy/cleaning, so it’s lovely that it’s cold. Maybe we’ll have a proper fall, now. During my Time Off for Maternity Leave would be nice. Aerin is watching the washing machine spin. I guess it’s cheaper than that cat tv show thingy. And she’s not bright enough to be bored. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905.md?page=14)