# That’s Some Bad Puns... The MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [October 8, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905 "2007-10-08T04:02:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/301 "2007-10-11T23:33:23Z")
I’m glad, **amelio** re your parents taking him in. It’s all so ridiculous… **MBG** –it AM, not PM, sadly. I’m not even sure I’ll be awake to watch it! Yay on the doggy, **dogbutler**! she looks so sweet and loving–and that’s nice in a canine overlord. I’m home from work and exhausted. Ree looks like fun, but she’s too energetic for me right now. It’s frozen pizza for din-din. I’m such a gourmet. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/302 "2007-10-11T23:37:49Z")
Two for **swampy** … When the beer in your can Tastes like pee from ol’ Stan That’s a Miller! When the ale in your mug Makes you urp and say ugh That’s a Coors! I saw something in the news about MillerCoors, and thought of you and how recently you’d joined them. How’d it go with whoever it was you did an aptitude test with a couple weeks ago? You may need to keep in close contact with them. Abnormally short work week for me - Monday was Columbus Day. Tuesday was an off-site seminar on security policy compliance. Tomorrow is off to Faire - the final weekend. Beautiful setting for that seminar - atop a tall hotel in downtown San Francisco with amazing views in all directions. It was surprising when I got into the elevator at the lobby - once it got above the fifth floor, it was immediately apparent that I was in a glass elevator. :eek: By the time we were at the top floor, I was thinking “Hey, I can see my office from here!” Seminar itself was kinda meh, but I was in good company - out of 70 attendees, five were from my company. Being a bank, we’re kinda fixated on that whole complying with laws and regulations thing. Next weekend we’re getting a garage door installed. (How mundane is that!?) We’ll finally be able to park in the driveway and not worry about how close we are to the door, and no longer need to back up the truck so we can open the door to put the trash and recycling out. Yep, the 19 year old one-piece tilt-up is being replaced with a normal roll-up, and the opener will be at the ceiling, instead of five and a half feet off the floor. We still won’t be able to fit the truck in the garage, but at least we won’t clobber ourselves on that ding-dong opener. Price for this lofty privelege is about $1600 from the local guys. Amazing database they keep - they knew that a previous owner replaced the springs in 1999, and they have similar info on pretty much every house in the neighborhood. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/303 "2007-10-11T23:47:42Z")
Congratulations, **CanineServant**! Nelly looks very spoilable, and I am sure Mz. Hellcat will make her right at home! I don’t give to United Way; they spend too much on admin. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/304 "2007-10-12T01:19:28Z")
**gt** they sent me an email sayin’ I passed the test. DUH! I’m hopin’ to hear from 'em in the next week or so about an interview. They do all their communication by email. And the puns… **HAH!** Think I’ll share 'em at work tonight. BTW, have I mentioned in the last five or six posts how much I hate third shift? **I HATE THIRD SHIFT!!!** ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/305 "2007-10-12T02:07:24Z")
Knitting question - I’m having problems switching from knitting to purl. Everything else is smooth and even but the last knitting stitch is loose and uneven and ugly. Help! I’ll have to explain more in the morning because the cat’s sitting on my arm so I’m typing one-handed! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/306 "2007-10-12T02:18:57Z")
:::hands a handful of karma points to **canineservant** :::: oh, and **FCM**? we’re cool (just don’t piss me off 😉 ) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/307 "2007-10-12T02:57:09Z")
I’ve never heard of United Way other than on the SDMB. Another weird American thing. I did get my record player fixed. That Guy offered to take a look at it so I told him to come over (Cloud Maiden was home and reading on the couch, so I figured it’d be safe). We fiddled around with it for almost an hour but eventually we found a little switch that had to be pressed back for the table to turn. If the damn thing were working properly it’d be pressed back automatically when the arm was moved, but the connection between the two was broken and we couldn’t figure out how to fix it, so in the end we tied the switch in place with a rubber hair band. Now the stupid thing plays constantly unless I unplug it. :dubious: But at least it works now. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/308 "2007-10-12T03:08:56Z")
Random thought; I wonder if it’d be utterly insane for us to host a Halloween party. My best friend from back home is visiting Chicago that weekend so it’d be nice to have her meet all my friends and stuff. On the other hand, Halloween parties tend to get, er, wild. We’d probably end up breaking something, at the very least. Although we don’t really have anything valuable around the house anyway. Well, we’ll see. We haven’t yet had a housewarming party either, so maybe it’d be nice to do it all at once. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/309 "2007-10-12T03:30:45Z")
Just put all the slightly valuable stuff away first. It’ll be fun. Nelly is a cutie. I can’t wait to see more pics of her. **Haze** , thanks. I just bookmarked both sites. I’m not totally sure that her cinnamon buns can beat my chocolate cinnamon buns. I’ll have to try to recipe and let you know. Both sites look like a lot of fun. Do you follow [Dress a Day?](http://www.dressaday.com/dressaday.html) It’s one of my favourites. Not food centred, though. Idiot Co-Worker didn’t do anything really dumb tonight. The lecture and threats may have had an effect. Because of that, I have put Mr. Lissar killing him on hold. I’ve only got to put up with the guy for three more weeks. Off to bed. Baking and cooking and stuff tomorrow! Day Off! ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/310 "2007-10-12T03:41:26Z")
> [@Lunch](#): > > > [@Roo](#): > > > > … And clothesline tying goes amazingly fast. > > Practice makes perfect, huh? 😃 Recently, someone quoted me some advice: “Perfect is the worst enemy of Very Good” I suspect that it’s stolen from a [Voltaire quote](http://www.famous-quotes.net/Quote.aspx?The_perfect_is_the_enemy_of_the_good): (Note the misquotations in the linked article) > [@Voltaire](#): > > The perfect is the enemy of the good. and the interpretation goes something like this: > [@commentary](#): > > I believe Voltaire’s original point about “perfection”, specifically, rather than simply “better”, is that to attain a perfect thing, whatever that is, becomes infinitely more difficult as you near it. So, at some point, you have to cut your losses, and simply say – “Good enough”. This is not a justification for shoddy workmanship or laziness, for that certainly would not be, per se, “Good enough”. The point is more to know when to realize that any additional effort toward improvement would result in a negligible improvement, especially in comparison to the effort required. In this case, good enough is just enough to make it work. In this context, that standard is very low indeed. So perfect is not required. 😃 > [@rigs](#): > > Roo–I don’t either! But we could have lunch someday–I’ll bring the Nutella. I was going to make a pun, but I just read another thread, so I’ll refrain. I’m embarrassed to say that when **Dotty** mentioned Nutella, I didn’t know what it was but assumed it was something like peanut butter. I finally looked it up and it’s a chocolate spread and I’m allergic to chocolate so no Nutella for me, thanks. But it would be wonderful to have lunch together. They say I’m a good listener (and I can be when I want to be). 🙂 **taxi** , _The Happiness Hypothesis_ has a whole chapter on why _other_ people are so hypocritical and it’s never you (general you). I love that stuff. **Dotty** , Eid Mubarak and كل عام و أنتم بخير to you too. Did I pronounce that right? And I’d also wish you a great day, but the last two days, it hasn’t been working. I’ll try again anyway. Have a great day! **doggio** , nelly looks so sweet! Re: United Way–I was once on loan from my company to our local United Way chapter for their entire fund drive. I drove around giving presentations and asking people to donate. _And_ I had no choice about it because when they assigned me, it became part of my job description. > [@Haze](#): > > On the other hand, Halloween parties tend to get, er, wild. We’d probably end up breaking something, at the very least. And this is different from other parties. . . how? :dubious: I figured out why I felt badly last night. I am Teh Sick. Last night, I was just bummed, but tonight I’ve got the physical symptoms to go with it. Sympathy and back rubs gladly accepted. 🙂 Bed is in order. Good night everyone! (Good morning, **Lunch**!) ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/311 "2007-10-12T04:02:43Z")
[QUOTE=Roo] And this is different from other parties. . . how? :dubious: [/QUOTE] Ah, well, I was actually thinking of last year’s Halloween party - this was, of course, earlier on in our MA year, so we were all friends but not-quite friends, if you know what I mean. Still in the need-alcohol-to-make-conversation stage. I remember quite a few things being broken; random people making out; me almost falling off the porch in my drunken state; Scottish Darling insisting we play on some random swingset and not remembering a thing the next morning; people getting high in one of the bedrooms; some random girl handing out lube and condoms. Good times. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/312 "2007-10-12T04:06:15Z")
Hey everybody! Hugs and smooches all around. Today was my Friday, and thank goodness for that. I swear, these last two weeks feel closer to a month in duration. Around here, it’s CFC (Combined Federal Campaign). Fortunately, I’m not hounded. I’m subjected to the mass e-mails, and that’s about it. It hasn’t officially kicked off, but I expect I’ll be getting the donation form and booklet sometime next week. Who I give to is my business, and I don’t do it through CFC. That’s just me, though. \*\*ali \*\* and **meli** , hang in there. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this crap. I’m glad that at least **meli’s** parents are being warm, supportive, and accepting. There’s nothing really exciting going on here. We’re hoping for a quiet weekend, but somehow, I think the peace will be shattered one way or another. Toodles… ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/313 "2007-10-12T04:11:40Z")
[QUOTE=Haze] Ah, well, I was actually thinking of last year’s Halloween party - this was, of course, earlier on in our MA year, so we were all friends but not-quite friends, if you know what I mean. Still in the need-alcohol-to-make-conversation stage. I remember quite a few things being broken; random people making out; me almost falling off the porch in my drunken state; Scottish Darling insisting we play on some random swingset and not remembering a thing the next morning; people getting high in one of the bedrooms; some random girl handing out lube and condoms. Good times. [/QUOTE] I don’t claim to be psychic, but I see a Halloween party in your future. 😛 Be sure to post details post-party. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/314 "2007-10-12T04:52:01Z")
It’s primarily United Way here as well. At least we have the alternate of contributing to any other Guidestar-listed charity. I’m making regular contributions out of my paychecks to the **DH and gotpasswords Mortgage Fund**. The silly thing is that we’re in the thick of what’s called Community Support Campaign and all that’s being supported now is Staples and Hewlett Packard. There are so many color laser-printed flyers taped up around the building - it’s visual spam - advertising group bake sales, nacho days, donuts by the elevators, etc. On my floor alone, they’ve taped up nearly a ream’s worth of paper. How much more could have gone to whatever charity if they didn’t spend a pack of paper, a roll of tape and about $70 worth of color toner? Yeah… about $75 more. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/315 "2007-10-12T05:48:59Z")
Hmm… Will anyone get behind me and my upcoming Pitting of **Skip**? The crime? Cock blockery! Now please excuse me while I go orchestrate a masterful GD thread. Also, did I spell “orchestrate” correctly? _:: gives the MMP a gentle and affectionate noogie ::_ ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/316 "2007-10-12T06:22:14Z")
Morning all! Thanks for the Eid wishes! **swampus** , Eid is difficult to explain. It is a religious festival, similar to what Easter or Christmas should be in the Christian calendar (minus all the retail/commercial craziness). There are actually 2 Eids each year - Eid al Fitr (Festival of Fast-Breaking/Eating) after the end of Ramadan and Eid al Adha (Festival of Sacrifice) after the end of Hajj (the pilgrimage to Mecca). Customarily, Eid al Adha is more importantly religiously, but both Eids are pretty much celebrated equally these days. Traditionally, everyone buys and wears new clothes for Eid, but no-one buys or exchanges gifts. The only ones to benefit are children, who are given money. It is also traditional to give _zakat al fitr_ (Charity for Fast-Breaking) - usually food donated to the mosque to be distributed to needy families for Eid. Alternatively, you can just give directly to someone you know who needs help. Most people donate to mosque, because charity is worth more religious brownie points if it’s done anonymously. [Here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eid_ul_fitr) is a wiki link on Eid al Fitr, which is quite informative. I found [this link](http://www.mtsu.edu/~msa/alfitr.htm) amusing, particularly the comment about taking a bath - makes it sound like Muslims only bathe when it’s Eid (what do you expect from Middle Tennessee State University? 😉 )! The focus for Eid should be on prayer and reflection, but these days it’s more about self-congratulation for making it through Ramadan without gaining 10 pounds (despite fasting 12 hours a day, a lot of people do gain weight!), showing off your new clothes and stuffing your face with obscenely sugary traditional sweets and pastries. Fortunately for us, MIL is going to Kuwait tomorrow morning, so after today we will be free to just enjoy the holiday. Whoever asked what happens for the last 2 days of Eid (sorry, can’t recall), it’s usually more of the same. Normally, you spend day 1 with your immediate family, then days 2 and 3 you visit your extended family and close friends for more eating and exchanging good wishes and sitting around interminably drinking sweet black tea and arabic coffee and having women whose names you don’t remember ply you with sweets and pastries and mini-pizzas and arabic-style calzones and all sorts of other mezzeh. I am hoping to avoid that this year because having Noor in tow would just mean playing “pass the baby” for a few hours. The only upside (as I mentioned previously) is that they generally pass the baby back with some money stuffed in her pocket!!! Well, HRH is waking up from her morning nap, so I need to go finish sewing the extra-large pockets on her new dress ( 😉 )! Happy Friday everyone! ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/317 "2007-10-12T06:47:54Z")
But you haven’t answered my question. Viva la Revolucion!! ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/318 "2007-10-12T07:03:04Z")
Good morning, everybody! I have to say – never had to endure United Way (never had a job in the US), but it sounds like something that would bring out the worst in me; there is **no way** anybody is **making** me donate to **any** sort of cause that I don’t want to support. Which includes, automatically, any cause that would try to pressure me into donating to it, publicly! :rolleyes: I’d be a pariah… \*\*Haze \*_– why have **I** never been invited to those kinds of parties? What? I’m a scientist?_ Oh… Also, congrats on getting the turntable to work. Now you just need to hook it up to a CD player and make copies of everything before it gives up the ghost for good… \*\*Roo \*\*-- I’ve heard (and used) that quote, often, too. Now I know where it’s from. Thanks! Of course it’s really just another form of the Law of Diminishing Returns… but we all knew that already, right? Hope you feel better soon! Being sick is no fun ☹ \*\*Dotty \*\*-- Joyous Eid! I’m not going to cut and paste the Arabic yet again (mostly because I’m ashamed at not being able to read it :o), but – what it said 🙂 Oh, and עיד-אל-פיטר שמח! to you. \*\*Swampy \*\*-- how do you like doing third shift? 😛 Me, I’ve got a busy weekend ahead – today I get to help the family pick out a tombstone for my mother, then we’re going to look at a cat we may be adopting, **then** I go to the **unveiling** of my late aunt’s tombstone (died a month ago. She was pushing 90 and had been ill for a while, though.) Tomorrow, we’re all headed to Jerusalem to visit **Special Teen** who is staying on campus this (and every second) weekend. Gonna be busy this weekend. At least (once I get the morbid stuff out of the way) it’s going to be mostly fun! - Douglas Adams reference ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/319 "2007-10-12T08:24:11Z")
Morning each…happy Friday! That’s about the only good thing I can say about today. I had a very bad night and I’m feeling very icky today - didn’t sleep much, have a very sore throat, thumpy head and a temperature. But I’ve struggled into work because Tin Knickers isn’t here and one simply has to make the most of those days. Also, I don’t get to go home early today because we’re going to a comedy club tonight so I’ll be staying here until 5pm and then hoofing it into town to meet some friends. Hopefully the comedians will be so good they’ll make me forget how crappy I feel. **Doggio** - Nelly looks adorable, I’m sure she’ll make a very good job of filling the hole that Maggie left behind her. Is Lucretia aware that she’s going to be fighting for your affections again? **McStringy and meli** - I’m sorry about the parental strife, but at least you have some support from one side! **Dotty** - Happy Eid! I hope HRH comes home from the visitations with her pockets bulging! Are you quite sure Muslims bathe more often than just at Eid? I’m only asking 'cos I was on the bus this morning with a few of 'em who were _long_ overdue. Whatever “United Way” is, it doesn’t sound like fun. We have various charitable things going on here that we can contribute to. I don’t think anyone actively takes note of who does, or doesn’t, but I am one of those people who only contributes to causes that I am particularly concerned about. A lot of people do “Race for Life” which donates to Cancer Research UK, ostensibly a very worth cause, but CRUK has some rather dubious research practices which I am unable to support so I don’t donate to that one. People look at me funny for that, but I can’t help the way I feel. Bah. Off in search of tea and then I’m going to open my little box of goodies from Amazon that’s just arrived. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905/320 "2007-10-12T08:26:51Z")
I’m just gonna pester you guys until I get at least one of you to pick up a pitchfork or a torch. pester pester pester [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-s-some-bad-puns-the-mmp/421905.md?page=17)