# That trend's over, hon. Please find a new way to look skanky. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 8, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026 "2005-02-08T17:12:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/161 "2005-02-10T00:53:34Z")
This thread is keeping me awake. I’m trying to get to sleep, I’m almost there, and up it pops, pissing me off. So this post is an attempted exorcism. Firstly, I am of the opinion that what other people wear, be it sloppy sweats, bathrobes, potato sacks or nothing at all, is **nobodies fucking business** but their own. 'Nuff said there. Secondly, the term “skank” bothers me. It bothers me in the same way “nigger” bothers me. It’s a mean spirited, nasty, arbitrary insult with no logical basis. It’s right up there with “slut”. Exactly what harm “skanks” and “sluts” actually do is never made clear - they are looked down upon because they are looked down upon, period. Just a thought. “Skank” is what the Taliban thought of women who didn’t wear the burka, who spoke with men who weren’t their husbands or blood relatives. “Skank” is what the Algerian athlete Hassiba Boulmerka was considered to be for running “with naked legs in front of thousands of men”, the criticism becoming so fierce that she was forced to train in Italy. “Skank” is what the cultures that practice female circumcision think of uncircumcised girls - they are “dirty” for retaining the ability to enjoy sex. (That includes all you female dopers, by the way. Or at least I hope it does, for your sake.) It’s interesting to note that in most cases, female circumcision is performed by female relatives of the victim, no doubt anxious to ensure that she doesn’t grow up to be a “skank”. I believe the concept of the “skank” is one we would do well to get rid of. It’s just a tool for pushing people around. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/162 "2005-02-10T00:55:24Z")
> [@Epimetheus](#): > > Are they? Everybody seems hung up that fashionable clothes are uncomfortable, and if you are comfortable they must not be fashionable. Either that or some people aren’t bothering to read my posts. What brand name is your slacks, yoru shirt, and “cute” shoes. Now what influences you to wear “cute” shoes. Comfort? So the cuter shoes are the more comfortable they are? Seems to me, and I could be wrong, that cute has something to do with fashion, no? So you ARE dressed fashionably. > > Tommy Hillfiger has a nice line of clothes that are slacks, T-shirts, hoodies, pull overs, you name it, they got it. Yet these are what I am talking about. You are all whacking away at straw men. My cute shoes are comfortable! They are little bowling shoes, and for the record the guy I was dating when I bought them hated, hated, hated them, and it didn’t stop me from wearing them. I bought them because I thought they were cute on me, not because I thought anyone else would think that. My shoes came from Payless, my slacks are “Faded Glory”, not exactly high fashion and the shirt was a gift and I have no idea what brand it is. I’m not dressed like a slob, I’m dressed in a way that I think is appropriate for work, and in colors that I like to wear. When I dress, I dress in a way that I think makes me look good, for ME. I don’t get dressed every day wondering what everyone of the opposite sex, or even everyone of the same sex, is going to think. And I rarely spend a LOT of money on clothes, the one exception being western style clothes actually. The reason I’ll willing to spend more money on these clothes is that they are very durable. At any rate…the OP was justified in thinking that seeing someone’s thong in the library was not a desirable sight, regardless of how thin, fat, young, old, ugly, or attractive the girl was. It has nothing to do with either girl dressing fashionably, and paying the price of being uncomfortable all day, for men. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/163 "2005-02-10T00:57:40Z")
**Indygrrl** , I don’t feel threatened. I feel sad for you that you feel you need to expend effort to impress, and therefore keep, your SO. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/164 "2005-02-10T01:01:39Z")
> [@LaurAnge](#): > > **Indygrrl** , I don’t feel threatened. I feel sad for you that you feel you need to expend effort to impress, and therefore keep, your SO. Wow. That was just…mean. Bitchy, even. I don’t suppose it’s possible that **Indygrrl** takes pride in her appearance and that she merely enjoys her SO’s appreciation? (re-reads relevant posts) Yep, that’s pretty much what she said. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/165 "2005-02-10T01:04:06Z")
> [@LifeOnWry](#): > > Wow. That was just…mean. Bitchy, even. > > I don’t suppose it’s possible that **Indygrrl** takes pride in her appearance and that she merely enjoys her SO’s appreciation? > > (re-reads relevant posts) Yep, that’s pretty much what she said. Let me assure you, I really and truly didn’t mean to be mean in any way. I got that impression from this quote which she posted on page 3: > [@](#): > > The Victoria’s Secret catalog is full of comfy pj’s that are also attractive. No need looking like a slob, especially if you’ve got a partner you’re wanting to stay interested in you. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/166 "2005-02-10T01:14:46Z")
> [@LaurAnge](#): > > Let me assure you, I really and truly didn’t mean to be mean in any way. Well then, in my humble opinion you owe her an apology, because it sure sounded snarky as hell. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/167 "2005-02-10T01:19:23Z")
Maybe I do, but I’ll wait to hear from her. Do you see how I got what I got from that quote, though? She expressly says that the way she dresses helps her keeping her SO. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/168 "2005-02-10T01:34:41Z")
> [@LaurAnge](#): > > **Indygrrl** , I don’t feel threatened. I feel sad for you that you feel you need to expend effort to impress, and therefore keep, your SO. I can kind of see her point, though. In a perfect relationship, your SO would love you solely for what’s inside. But in the real world people are often shallow (to a degree). And in a long-term committed relationship, the SO will be able to overlook the sweats thing most of the time. But I also think that a physical relationship is needed for a healthy loving relationship (or at least in my case). And I want my partner to be attracted to me, and stay attracted to me. That doesn’t mean that I dress up all of the time. But every once in a while I’ll dress up a little nicer than the sweatshirt and jeans that I wear most of the time. I’d like to think that it pleases my SO when I wear something nice. I certainly don’t feel like I need to dress up in order to keep him, but I think he enjoys it when I look a little more put-together than usual. I dunno, it made a lot more sense in my head. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/169 "2005-02-10T01:37:14Z")
I’m certainly not saying that one should never dress up for one’s SO. There’s a time and place for looking sexy when going out to dinner, or putting other items from the Victoria’s Secret catalog to good use. But I’m also perfectly fine looking like a slob in front of my SO, and I don’t feel that I risk losing him by doing so. If that’s not what **Indygrrl** was trying to express, then obviously whatever criticisms I have aren’t valid and I hope she takes no offense to all of this. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/170 "2005-02-10T02:24:01Z")
> [@Jaade](#): > > M It has nothing to do with either girl dressing fashionably, and paying the price of being uncomfortable all day, for men. Sigh… Do you people even read my posts? Fucking christs sake. How many goddamn times do I have to say this??? I am not defending the GODDAMN fucking bitch in the OP, OK? Got that through your collectively thick skulls? Jesus fucking christ on a stick folks, my hijack was about comfort and was not even tangentally related to the OP, it was a hijack, I have stated this no less than three times already. It is impossible to stay civil in an enviroment like this. Fucking get some reading comprehension skills. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Hellestal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ab097/32.png) [@Hellestal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hellestal)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/171 "2005-02-10T02:41:50Z")
I hate the word skank. If y’all want to comment amongst yourselves about how unclassy it is to show off your undies, then whatever. I don’t much like the exposed thong look myself, so I can follow you that far. But this “skank” label, it’s too much like “slut,” too much like you’re angered that she enjoys a nice dick when it suits her. I don’t know if that’s really the attitude that’s been showing up in this thread, but it’s been too close for my comfort. Taking a trip down memory lane (also known as the first page of this thread), I find this: > [@featherlou](#): > > I feel sorry for them more than anything, because they don’t have enough self-esteem to interact with men on their own terms; they just give the boys what they want. **featherlou** ’s automatic assumption is that these girls don’t have self-esteem. At no time does it enter her head that these girls are indeed interacting with men on their own terms, that giving the boys what they want will, in turn, give them what they want. O lord no, because giving us guys what we want is somehow wrong. That little hussy should be in her tower, and should she ever one day happen to give a guy what he wants, even in the blessed union of marriage, her eyes should be closed and her thoughts on England. Intentional or not, this is the attitude conveyed when questioning a girl’s motives for dressing as she does. Skank, with its heavy connotation, often does exactly this, and if the goal is to keep the issue solely focused on the aesthetic tragedy of the overly exposed buttocks instead of implying a prudish disapproval of a promiscuous lifestyle, I do not believe the word should be used. How’s about you use “philistine” instead? I think it conveys the fashion failings of these girls quite nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/172 "2005-02-10T05:02:28Z")
> [@Epimetheus](#): > > I didn’t say women only dressed for comfort. Our local porn star is saying that. Tracy Lord, not Traci Lords, you utter ignoramus. And there’s a difference between dressing comfortably and dressing _for_ comfort. Dressing for comfort implies that comfort is the only reason you’ve chosen the clothes you’re wearing. Dressing comfortably means that, while still wearing appropriate clothing for the occasion (office, jogging, coronation, what-have-you), you are not in pain. _Most_ women don’t buy unreasonably pricey brand names, I think I can safely say. _Most_ women don’t buy uncomfortable clothing just to be fashionable. > [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > BTW, _Tracy_, where do you dance? I go to events mostly in Corvallis, but sometimes in Eugene or Portland. Maybe I’ve run into you? I’m in Ashland for the school year, but during the summer and breaks I’m in Portland. I’m usually at Nocturnal, although I’ve been to the Norse Hall a few times. And then in the summer, of course, the Park Blocks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/173 "2005-02-10T08:33:55Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > My God, how old are you, 7?! > > Dressing up and trying new looks is a part of self-expression. _How you present yourself helps you express who you are_. Experimenting with that allows you to try on different personas. I don’t see anything wrong with that. Because I disagree with you, I’m 7? What the fuck? ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/174 "2005-02-10T09:23:59Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Sexy: [http://perso.wanadoo.fr/newlands/alice%20cooper/Angelina%20Jolie%20in%20alice%20cooper%20t-shirt%20staring%20right%20through%20you.jpg](http://perso.wanadoo.fr/newlands/alice%20cooper/Angelina%20Jolie%20in%20alice%20cooper%20t-shirt%20staring%20right%20through%20you.jpg) [hijack] Oh my God, I want that shirt!!! Actually, that pic’s been all over the Alice boards. And yes, that’s sexy, not skanky. [/endhijack] ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/175 "2005-02-10T11:12:09Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Because I disagree with you, I’m 7? What the fuck? No, your phrasing of “\*Well then tell Jennyrosity. She’s the one who said it.” \* suggested a 7 year old. Sorry I didn’t make that clear. Re: dressing up for your partner. I agree that you shouldn’t have to do it all the time, but for me, I like to make the effort for him - I know he does for me. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/176 "2005-02-10T12:54:45Z")
**Epimetheus** , have you, out of curiosity, ever _left_ Kansas City? Your constant references to local behavior and regional differences are…bizarre, imho. I’ve lived in three states in three time zones in the last three years and there are no appreciable differences between styles of dress in California, Michigan, and Illinois. I mean, yeah, you have to make adjustments for weather differences, but it’s not as though we have these huge regional fashion differences. I’m pretty sure I could wear my ordinary clothes in Kansas City and not have people point and stare at my weird Chicago outfit. I have a good friend in St. Louis and visit occasionally and I must admit to never having noticed anything particularly odd about the Missourian fashion sense. Although maybe in _Kansas City_, it’s really, really different from _St. Louis_. But I doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/177 "2005-02-10T13:09:13Z")
I see this phenomenon all the time at the library where I work. Yes, I am a middle aged man (44 years old) and yes, the girls are young enough to be my daughters, but if they have a nice figure (and at Vanderbilt University, plenty of them do!), I feel obligated to at least give it a glance – it would seem rude not too! This is just one of the perks of working on a college campus! No, I am not a dirty old man. Like I said before, I’m only 44! ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/178 "2005-02-10T13:10:33Z")
Yeah, I have actually left KC. I have traveled quite a bit actually. And my claims are not bizzare at all, you all are just not listening to my words and keep thinking I am talking about some sort of high runway model fashion when I say the word fashion. I have tried explaining this many, many times, but you all have something stuck in your “ears.” Fashion: [http://www.tommy.com/products/jeans.jsp](http://www.tommy.com/products/jeans.jsp) Yeah, jeans, wow. I don’t know why I even bother though, this post is going to get ignored too. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/179 "2005-02-10T17:13:58Z")
> [@Epimetheus](#): > > I have tried explaining this many, many times, but you all have something stuck in your “ears.” Right. It’s the rest of the world that’s crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026/180 "2005-02-10T17:25:16Z")
> [@LaurAnge](#): > > I’m certainly not saying that one should never dress up for one’s SO. There’s a time and place for looking sexy when going out to dinner, or putting other items from the Victoria’s Secret catalog to good use. But I’m also perfectly fine looking like a slob in front of my SO, and I don’t feel that I risk losing him by doing so. > > If that’s not what **Indygrrl** was trying to express, then obviously whatever criticisms I have aren’t valid and I hope she takes no offense to all of this. Where did I say that _I_ was at risk for losing my fiance if I don’t wear the right pajamas? I never did. Trust me. My looks are the least of my insecurities. You could jump on my multiple problems, but I got the looks thing in the bag. I don’t feel comfortable “looking like a slob” in front of _anyone_. It’s my choice to wear a pair of pj’s that match. For the record, they’re cotton, and quite comfy, but they just happen to be a matching set. So, I’m not going home and putting on garters and bustiers for him every night. The smiley, which is evidently lost on so many, was to indicate sort of a joking manner when I said he’s always impressed by me. Well, it’s the fucking truth. He is always impressed. Not because I try so hard and am insecure, etc., but because he loves me and sees a lot in me. A couple of people in this thread are pretty defensive over a little comment, maybe you are the ones who are insecure and worried. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-trends-over-hon-please-find-a-new-way-to-look-skanky/289026.md?page=10)