# That will teach you not to hit my SUV with a golf ball **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 7, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603 "2004-12-07T19:30:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/21 "2004-12-07T22:12:20Z")
Honestly, this woman needs to be put away for a very long time. > [@Ghanima](#): > > This just gives me yet another reason to hate SUVs and their drivers. You’re a clown. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/22 "2004-12-07T22:19:40Z")
> [@threemae](#): > > A person that runs over two teenagers and then doesn’t flee but calmly sits around smoking a cigarette might not be the epitome of mental health or sanity. Sticking around rather than running might suggest that she, well, didn’t know it was wrong. Or, she might be absolutely fucking evil. Reading about that poor boy seeing the 14 year old bleeding and twitching wrenched my heart right out of my chest. And **Ghanima** , don’t be an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![PaulFitzroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@PaulFitzroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulFitzroy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/23 "2004-12-07T22:22:44Z")
What a cunt. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/24 "2004-12-07T22:32:04Z")
> [@UrbanChic](#): > > Honestly, this woman needs to be put away for a very long time. At least until her godawful hairdo grows out. What is that, a mullet with bangs?! ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/25 "2004-12-07T22:34:36Z")
Maybe she’s channelling her inner Aileen Wuornos… what a great look for a sanity hearing. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/26 "2004-12-07T22:35:33Z")
Wonder if Hiaasen’s gonna mention this in his column. Or at least borrow it for one of his books. …Naaah. Even by the typical standards of Florida wackiness, this is pretty tame. The standard, I think, was set by the stinky abandoned car in the mall parking lot, whose trunk, when opened by police, revealed a putrefied corpse, the appearance of which prompted the gathering of a crowd of looky-loos, including refreshment vendors with their little carts. Crazy lady chasing sullen teens with her SUV barely makes a blip on Weird Florida radar. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/27 "2004-12-08T06:22:08Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Crazy lady chasing sullen teens with her SUV barely makes a blip on Weird Florida radar. Hardly “sullen,” as far as I can tell. I can’t believe that even though there was no damage to her car and that they apologized that she still flipped out. I hope both boys recover fully. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/28 "2004-12-08T06:34:55Z")
> [@John Mace](#): > > Some might argue that you get to \*\*deduct \*\*one stroke from your score… 🙂 I think you mean **add two** to your score. The only time I’ve seen it happen my brother hit out of bounds from the tee and as the ball was bouncing down the road a Land Rover hit it and knocked it back onto the fringe of the green on a par 4. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/29 "2004-12-08T14:31:00Z")
Y’see, I think that should be like umpires in baseball. They’re technically a part of the field, like the grass or the bases. If you clang one off an SUV that ball should still be in-play with no penalty assigned. You don’t get penalized for bouncing one off a tree, do you? So that’s all they are… Just big, moving, steel-laden, death-bringing trees. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/30 "2004-12-08T14:40:27Z")
If I ever fall down and bump my head and decide to get the name of my truck airbrushed on the back, it’ll read ‘The Death Bringer’. Thanks, JC. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/31 "2004-12-08T15:00:51Z")
> [@](#): > > A judge ordered her held without bail Monday on three counts of attempted murder. Three counts? There were only two kids whats the deal? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/32 "2004-12-08T15:15:17Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Three counts? There were only two kids whats the deal? Read the article, she only _hit_ two of them, there was another cousin there who was able to duck out of the way. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/33 "2004-12-08T15:15:39Z")
Two that she actually hit. The story mentions a third one she went after but didn’t hit. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/34 "2004-12-08T15:36:43Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > This just gives me yet another reason to hate SUVs and their drivers. Moran ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/35 "2004-12-08T16:27:46Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > This just gives me yet another reason to hate SUVs and their drivers. Did you forget to put a :rolleyes: after that, or are you trying to be stupid? ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/36 "2004-12-08T21:02:58Z")
**Ghanima** hasn’t come back in yet. Does that mean it was a _drive-by_? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/37 "2004-12-08T21:11:20Z")
> [@c\_goat](#): > > Two that she actually hit. The story mentions a third one she went after but didn’t hit. In golf, this qualifies as Bingo, Bango, but no Bongo. (First on, Closest, but not First In), had she been on the golf course to begin with. :smack: Praying for the kids recovery: Medically and financially(materially)…starting with that SUV. Better yet, take that SUV to the local driving range to raise money for the medical expenses by having golfers donate money to hit that vehicle with their drives 200 yards from the tee boxes and let her watch. 😛 **Ghanima** , hate the SUVs all you want, but not everyone who drives them; we all have our reasons. At 6’3" and with an arthritic knee from surgery when I was 13 years old, there are very few choices in vehicles I have to get around where it’s not too painful to drive or be a passenger in. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/38 "2004-12-08T22:09:00Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > The only time I’ve seen it happen my brother hit out of bounds from the tee and as the ball was bouncing down the road a Land Rover hit it and knocked it back onto the fringe of the green on a par 4. Wait, so you’re telling me that even my CAR is a better golfer than me? Great… ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/39 "2004-12-08T22:53:43Z")
Yeah, the whole stupid, tragic episode is just one big metaphor, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603/40 "2004-12-08T23:14:24Z")
> [@EJsGirl](#): > > **Ghanima** hasn’t come back in yet. Does that mean it was a _drive-by_? Looked a bit rough and in no way fair. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-will-teach-you-not-to-hit-my-suv-with-a-golf-ball/278603.md?page=3)