# That'll teach you! Songs that are lessons **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [December 9, 2025, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555 "2025-12-09T15:32:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/21 "2025-12-09T16:42:02Z")
_Square One TV_ taught math to a whole generation through songs: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Q53GmMCqmAM/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AG-AYACkAGKAgwIABABGH8gMShFMA8=&rs=AOn4CLBgrwDu9rQjPqiA8munRoIzzxvIAg "Square One: Nine Nine Nine") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q53GmMCqmAM) ---
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/22 "2025-12-09T16:43:05Z")
Oh, and SunWife found this when our kids were very little: [Dan & Yael - Tremendous Earth Vol. 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpUPcqHN_Vc&list=OLAK5uy_n936vRNSnT93JZ0G1S7UfupwfB-z32sVU) A bunch of songs on the album that teach geography and science. And, TMBG did a children’s album called “Here Comes Science”. Here’s [two of the songs](https://youtu.be/JrtklvgsmWU?list=RDJrtklvgsmWU) (“Why Does the Sun Shine?” and “Why Does the Sun Really Shine” - the second corrects the first) from it, as performed on the Craig Ferguson show. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/23 "2025-12-09T16:55:53Z")
Tom Lehrer’s **Vatican Rag** , which teaches you all you need to know about the Catholic church service. “First you get down on your knees, fiddle with your rosaries. Bow your head with great respect, and genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!” ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/24 "2025-12-09T17:05:55Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/ABXtWqmArUU/maxresdefault.jpg "Paul Simon - 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (Official Audio)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABXtWqmArUU) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/25 "2025-12-09T17:08:19Z")
"Alexa, play “Figure 8”. Beautiful, ain’t it? ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/26 "2025-12-09T17:15:17Z")
There is oft repeated “let me teach you about how terrible women are (before going on to sing my other songs about how I habitually mistreat, objectify, and gaslight women)” lesson song Dazed and Confused American Woman Etc… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/27 "2025-12-09T17:18:44Z")
No. Again, no morality plays or “Love is great/love sucks” songs. Otherwise, the title of this thread would just be “Name a song”. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/28 "2025-12-09T17:19:37Z")
There is Quark Strangeness and Charm by Hawkwind. Though that will mainly teach you how Hawkwind knew absolutely nothing about the love life of Albert Einstein and very little about quantum physics 😉 [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/kacmVeeiveQ/maxresdefault.jpg "Quark, Strangeness & Charm") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kacmVeeiveQ) ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/29 "2025-12-09T17:20:01Z")
![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/7hx4gdlfamo/maxresdefault.jpg)https://www.youtube.com/embed/7hx4gdlfamo?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque&list=RD7hx4gdlfamo ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/30 "2025-12-09T17:22:09Z")
Thirty posts in, and no one has mentioned the [ABC Song](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_ABC_Song)? (I’ve always called it the Alphabet Song. But apparently the formal name for it is the ABC Song.) ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/31 "2025-12-09T17:22:33Z")
Step one, cut a hole in a box. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Fe3bP_n4QYE/hqdefault.jpg "Dick In A Box Steps") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe3bP_n4QYE) ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/32 "2025-12-09T17:22:47Z")
As mentioned on the SovCit thread 99 Problems by Jay Z is actually a very good lesson in probable cause w.r.t. vehicle searches. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/33 "2025-12-09T17:23:44Z")
“Make an Omelette” teaches you how to make an omelette: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/De7WR30rQks/maxresdefault.jpg "Something Rotten! / Make an Omelette") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De7WR30rQks) ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/34 "2025-12-09T17:24:19Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Know Your Rights Unlike 99 Problems more political polemic than useful advice 😉 “Murder is a crime unless it’s done by a policeman” that’s not gonna help you much when you get pulled over. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/35 "2025-12-09T17:34:15Z")
I know almost everything I know about the diggers (at least before the subject came up in Revolutions podcast) from the Billy Bragg song The World Turned Upside Down; [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/SWRpl2S9iwk/maxresdefault.jpg "Billy Bragg - The World Turned Upside Down") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWRpl2S9iwk) ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/36 "2025-12-09T17:34:45Z")
Need a hole in the ground? [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Lz6EbmmxlKg/maxresdefault.jpg "Dig") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lz6EbmmxlKg) ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/37 "2025-12-09T17:37:00Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > The Hokey Pokey teaches you how to do the Hokey Pokey Unless it’s Richard and Linda Thompson’s “Hokey Pokey”, which teaches you… ummm… something else entirely. ---
**Author:** ![Author\_Balk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Author\_Balk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Author_Balk)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/38 "2025-12-09T17:39:26Z")
Eddie Rabbitt has a lesson on how to get up a woman in Step by Step. First step is ask her out and treat her like a lady, and so forth. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/39 "2025-12-09T17:46:13Z")
I learned about [Alexander The Great](https://youtu.be/TvWE30PJ1oE?si=1T86CiHmYHTuJ16j) from Iron Maiden. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2025, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555/40 "2025-12-09T17:51:38Z")
Slightly dated advice: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/PPKHwaJCDf0/maxresdefault.jpg "Allan Sherman - Dodging the Draft") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPKHwaJCDf0) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thatll-teach-you-songs-that-are-lessons/1025555.md?page=3)