# That's it; I am officially a Batty Old Woman **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2007, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097 "2007-09-05T07:19:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/21 "2007-09-05T21:02:42Z")
[QUOTE=Beadalin] After hunting high and low for my wallet last week, I finally found it. In the refrigerator. [/QUOTE] A year or two ago, my GF was freaking out. She was convinced that she was sleepwalking, and it scared the bejesus out of her. She knew this was happening, because she had no memory of doing stuff like that, like putting cat food in the tub, or her glasses in the fridge. I set set her mind at ease by explaining that I do stuff like that all the time, and I’m fully awake when I do it. ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/22 "2007-09-05T21:09:09Z")
I think I’ve got you all beat. A couple of days ago, I was getting package ready to send to a friend. I looked up the address in my email, right clicked, clicked on “copy” and then put the mouse over on top of the package. Yes, I was trying to copy and paste onto the envelope. :smack: For the record, I’m 34. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/23 "2007-09-05T21:12:52Z")
Hmmm…I’m afraid if you can’t tell the difference between toothpaste and soap you migh have to abdicate your position as Queen of Lubricants. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/24 "2007-09-05T21:16:58Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] Hmmm…I’m afraid if you can’t tell the difference between toothpaste and soap you migh have to abdicate your position as Queen of Lubricants. [/QUOTE] I _hope_ she doesn’t lubricate with either of those. Ouch! ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/25 "2007-09-05T22:09:29Z")
[QUOTE=VenusProbe] the other morning I was making coffee… I was early and I wasn’t quite awake so I guess I skipped a few steps. I poured whole beans directly into my coffee cup, I didn’t realize my mistake till I was walking back to my computer! [/QUOTE] That’s my normal first cup of coffee every morning. 😛 Let’s see. I’ve started the coffee pot without water. I’ve started the coffee pot without coffee. I’ve started the coffee pot without water or coffee. And I’ve dumped ground coffee into the water reservoir. ETA: The other day I couldn’t find my cell phone. Obvious solution, I pick up the house phone and call my cell. Cell was hanging on my belt right where it should be. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/26 "2007-09-05T22:45:21Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] A year or two ago, my GF was freaking out. She was convinced that she was sleepwalking, and it scared the bejesus out of her. She knew this was happening, because she had no memory of doing stuff like that, like putting cat food in the tub, or her glasses in the fridge. I set set her mind at ease by explaining that I do stuff like that all the time, and I’m fully awake when I do it. [/QUOTE] You should always be comforted by the fact you’re going senile, instead of sleep walking. Not the best way to comfort somebody, but hey she’s going senile, so she’ll forget in a minute or two. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/27 "2007-09-05T23:22:37Z")
A few years ago I decided to be a good girl & clean my face before bed. I grabbed a cotton pad & some facial toner stuff and gently but thoroughly cleansed. I could not BELIEVE how much gunk was on the cotton pad and was so glad that I had taken the time to clean, I must’ve been really greasy! Then I wondered why I’d never noticed what a strong smell my facial toner had … Then I noticed how tingly my face was. Then I noticed that I’d used nail polish remover instead - owie!!! My face was indeed clean … and free of nail polish! :smack: (both products were blue, however the bottles themselves were quite different in shape & size, so really I have no excuse). ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/28 "2007-09-05T23:43:31Z")
And here I thought I was losing it when I’d try to take a sip of a beer, that I had yet to open. You guys are funny. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/29 "2007-09-06T10:56:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **rivulus** : > Just yesterday, I had an ice cream sandwich in one hand and my cell phone in the other. Guess which one I put to my ear when the phone rang? Here’s a true story about someone from Micronesia: He was out on his boat fishing and drinking beer. Unfortunately, he was fishing the easy way, by dynamiting the reef and scooping the dead fish up. So, he had a beer in one hand, and a stick of lit dynamite in the other… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/30 "2007-09-06T11:10:33Z")
Those Micronesians love their spicy foods, don’t they? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/31 "2007-09-06T11:17:09Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] I _hope_ she doesn’t lubricate with either of those. Ouch! [/QUOTE] Hey, soap works pretty well for shower sex…toothpaste…well probably not. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/32 "2007-09-06T13:17:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **tdn** : > Those Micronesians love their spicy foods, don’t they? Heh-heh. Actually, lucky for him, he didn’t take a sip of the dynamite, he threw the beer into the ocean. As he was drunkenly saying to himself “no, wait! I didn’t mean to throw that beer in the ocean, oh geez, um…” the dynamite stick blew up in his hand. He is one-armed now. (That is if he is even still alive – that story happened more than 20 years ago.) ---
**Author:** ![amelioration](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e9c0ed/32.png) [@amelioration](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amelioration)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/33 "2007-09-06T16:58:08Z")
Aw, **NinetyWt** , that’s not so bad. At least you didn’t nearly put soap in your mouth or something equally as inedible. The other day I put a nice fat glob of acne medicine on my toothbrush and nearly got it into my mouth before realizing what it was. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/34 "2007-09-06T17:09:55Z")
[QUOTE=Projammer] That’s my normal first cup of coffee every morning. 😛 Let’s see. I’ve started the coffee pot without water. I’ve started the coffee pot without coffee. I’ve started the coffee pot without water or coffee. And I’ve dumped ground coffee into the water reservoir. [/QUOTE] That’s nothing. Not very long ago, I was making a cup of instant. (Yeah, I know, I deserve everything I get.) I opened the jar of Nescafé, put a spoonful of granules in the mug, and then carefully filled the jar of Nescafé with boiling water. That makes for pretty strong coffee, I can tell you. I’ve done the hair-gel-on-the-face thing, too. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/35 "2007-09-06T17:44:50Z")
Anyone here ever bleed their brake lines, to get the air bubbles out of the brake fluid so the brake pedal isn’t squishy when you depress it? The general practice is to have a short little hose that attaches to the “zert” valves on the wheels; you have a partner pump up the brakes then hold, you release the zerts, fluid (with bubbles in it) shoots out, you tighten, repeat until bubbles are gone. Since you don’t want a garage floor 2 mm deep in old slimy brake fluid, it’s customary to stick the other end of the short tube into an empty container to catch the stuff as it squirts out. Since you’re doing this with a partner, it’s customary to have a 6-pack of beer on hand. You now see where this is going, of course. It tastes truly miserable. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/36 "2007-09-06T20:00:11Z")
[QUOTE=AHunter3] It tastes truly miserable. [/QUOTE] Unless you are intimately familiar with the texture, smell, and taste of every fluid in your vehicle, you don’t qualify for your shade tree mechanic’s badge. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/37 "2007-09-06T20:03:38Z")
[QUOTE=Beadalin] After hunting high and low for my wallet last week, I finally found it. In the refrigerator. [/QUOTE] …and the milk in the cupboard by the cereal bowls. Ta da, I’m in! ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/38 "2007-09-06T20:06:20Z")
[QUOTE=AHunter3] Anyone here ever bleed their brake lines, to get the air bubbles out of the brake fluid so the brake pedal isn’t squishy when you depress it? The general practice is to have a short little hose that attaches to the “zert” valves on the wheels; you have a partner pump up the brakes then hold, you release the zerts, fluid (with bubbles in it) shoots out, you tighten, repeat until bubbles are gone. Since you don’t want a garage floor 2 mm deep in old slimy brake fluid, it’s customary to stick the other end of the short tube into an empty container to catch the stuff as it squirts out. Since you’re doing this with a partner, it’s customary to have a 6-pack of beer on hand. You now see where this is going, of course. It tastes truly miserable. [/QUOTE] I forgot to re-acquaint the drain plug with the oil pan before adding 5 quarts. Good thing the drain pan was still under the oil pan. ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/39 "2007-09-06T20:19:07Z")
Yeah, count me in with the Brylcreme on the toothbrush crowd, along with forgetting to put the coffee in the coffee maker and winding up with hot water! Of course there’s the REALLY embarrising act of forgetting to flush the toilet after #2. Especially if you’re at somebody elses house! :smack: Allright, who says I’m Old! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097/40 "2007-09-07T02:53:43Z")
[QUOTE=Colophon] I opened the jar of Nescafé, put a spoonful of granules in the mug, and then carefully filled the jar of Nescafé with boiling water. That makes for pretty strong coffee, I can tell you. [/QUOTE] I remember this story! I think you must’ve posted it before - and it’s still frickin’ hilarious, because I can totally see myself doing that. My seniorest moment: The morning after a full-day laundry and housecleaning spree, I went to get dressed, opened my underwear drawer and found two avocados. Went downstairs to the kitchen and sure enough, found my socks in the vegetable drawer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-i-am-officially-a-batty-old-woman/418097.md?page=3)