# That's it, we're closing our accounts **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 17, 2000, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289 "2000-10-17T18:09:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/1 "2000-10-17T18:09:43Z")
Yesterday was turning out to be a typical payday. People grumbling about being broke before they get their checks, plans for next weekend etc. That was until people went to the bank at lunch time. Our bank (not sure if I can name it, but contains the first two letters of the alphabet, in reverse order, separated by “of”) has decided to institute a new policy. I don’t go there, I’ve hated this bank for better than 12 years, I got this info from the employees, at least a dozen complaints yesterday, a few this morning. The new policy: Persons not having an open account with the bank, can no longer use the regular tellers, but now must use a single line for “non-customers” “Well this check is written on an account from this bank, this location” many of the employees pointed out. “Too bad” (my words, I assume they were more proffessional than that)says the bank, you have to get in the non-customers line. “Well there’s nobody in this line, the non-customer line is out the door”. “Too bad” says the bank, “would you like to open an account now?” This is just the latest of continual problems we’ve had with this bank involving payroll, it’ll damn sure be the last. Oh yeah fuck, shit, dammit (thrown in for pit worthiness) ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/2 "2000-10-17T18:27:54Z")
Yep. Gotta love RoboBank. The other big Bay Area bank has been doing this for about a year now. They are even worse though. With them, the check must be from the same branch of the bank. So, you stand in line for half an hour, only to find out that you have to take the check across town. Real fun. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/3 "2000-10-17T18:41:14Z")
Does the bank have a free checking type of thing? If so, get in the customer line, and when they ask you if you want to open an account, say “Yes.” Open a free checking account. Do your business. Then close the account. They want you to play by their rules, go ahead. But they have to play by them as well. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/4 "2000-10-17T18:42:28Z")
I love direct deposit I love my credit union \ ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/5 "2000-10-17T18:57:17Z")
Oh SHIT does this remind me of something that burned my ass a few years ago. At a time I didn’t have an account anywhere, I would cash my checks at the bank they were drawn on. No problems. However, I got a freelance writing check from another bank. They had a branch nearby, so I hit the drive-in. I turn the corner of the drive-in, only to see a sign taped to the actual booth area saying that they would only do drive-in business from people who had accounts there. Meanwhile, I am now trapped in line so it’s not like I can back-out or anything. I hope that when I do get to the window that i will be helped anyway. Of course not. “Read the sign,” the douchebag said. She wouldn’t even listen as I tried to explain how I was fucking trapped by the time the sign came into my view. So I go inside and sure enough, I have to go into the crowded second-class citizen line to cash the check. Meanwhile, tellers for the “good people” are sitting on their asses. I complain to the teller when I get my money and he just says, “Why do we want to treat you good when you’re not a customer.” I am enraged, but instead of telling her and her bank to go fuck themselves, I calmly explain that any chance of me wanting to do THAT went out the window with their asinine policies, and that I would be in touch with the people who wrote my check about taking their business elsewhere. She didn’t really care, but I got my best revenge when I opened my account at the bank my job uses (the people who NEVER treated me badly while using the drive-though even!) and the magazine DID subsequently change their acounts! * * * Yer pal, [Satan](http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg) \*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Six months, one week, one day, 17 hours, 1 minute and 52 seconds. 7668 cigarettes not smoked, saving $958.55. Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 5 days, 15 hours, 0 minutes. **I slept with a moderator!** \* ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/6 "2000-10-17T18:57:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Does the bank have a free checking type of thing? Beats me, I can honestly say I haven’t stepped foot in one of their locations since they pissed me off 12 years ago. But as for the rest of your post, i like it, sounds just sneaky enough for me. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/7 "2000-10-17T19:04:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Do your business. Then close the account. I’m pretty sure that some banks will charge you for closing an account before a specified period of time. Maybe six months or so. My advice is to find a small, local bank. In my experience, they’re the best. No, they may not have that fancy color display at the ATM; hell, they might not even let you deposit your checks in it. You either have to go into the bank or put your check in the night deposit slot. BUT, my bank charges NO monthly fees, no matter how low your balance is, NO stupid fees for seeing tellers, and just generally friendlier service. My last bank had a fancy ATM. Damn thing crashed and stole my card on a Sunday. I went in the next day only to find that they had cut up my card and trashed it (“But it’s our policy, sir, even if it wasn’t your fault!”), then tried to send me through a whole rigamarole to try to get a new card. I canceled my account on the spot. The local bank gave me a $25 bookbag and a box of free checks for opening a checking account. The _only_ charge I incur is a $12 a year fee for a Visa debit card. If I’d have chosen a regular ATM card, I wouldn’t have paid a cent. They _want_ your business. Bank of America, Bank One, etc, etc, see you as nothing more than the butt of exorbinant and ridiculous fees. Fuck them. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/8 "2000-10-17T19:37:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*I love direct deposit > I love my credit union > \ \*\* me too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/9 "2000-10-17T19:43:52Z")
Banks are desperately searching for ways to make more money, and they’re pissing off customers in the process. Reminds me of a story that made the rounds a few years ago. A gentleman walked into a bank to make a deposit. He had parked in a parking deck that served the high-rise in which the bank was located. Before he left, he asked the teller to validate his parking stub. The teller refused. The man was sure a mistake was being made, so he asked for a manager. The manager also refused to validate his stub, saying it wasn’t bank policy. The man said, “You’re telling me I’ve got to pay somebody else for the privilege of coming in here and giving you my money?” The bank manager said, essentially, yes. The man said, “Fine. I want to make a withdrawal.” When they asked him how much, he said “All of it.” The manager somewhat huffily moved to the computer to pull up the account, only to find that the man had something like two million dollars in the bank. The manager started to apologize, and offered to pay the parking fee, but the man would have none of it. He took his check from the bank and deposited it elsewhere. Teach those fuckers to screw around with a millionaire. ---
**Author:** ![sdimbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdimbert/32/20204_2.png) [@sdimbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdimbert)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/10 "2000-10-17T19:49:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by neutron star \* > Bank of America, Bank One, etc, etc, see you as nothing more than the butt of exorbinant and ridiculous fees. Fuck them. \*\* I bank at BofA and _love_ it. But, that is because I made sure to set things up right. You see, when I lived in NYC, Chase jerked me around a coupla times. So, when I got to the Midwest and had to open an acct, I did it right. First of all, I _never_ use a teller. I use the ATM for withdrawals, deposits, etc, and, whenever I need to do anything else, I go to a person at a desk. As far as I can tell, the only difference between these people and a teller is the fact that I get to sit down. They happily manage my accts, order new checks for me, make deposits and transfers, etc. And, since I asked for “Private Banking” when I opened the acct, I don’t ever pay any fees. Ever. That’s worth the minimum balance. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/11 "2000-10-17T20:06:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > **I love direct deposit > I love my credit union** Amen to that. Credit unions used to be very low tech and somewhat inconvenient, but the one we joined here has everything: On-line and phone banking, great rates for credit cards, international services, you name it. They don’t have a lot of ATMs, but most stores I use already take ATM cards, anyway, and there is a branch right on my way to work. They are uncrowded, friendly and completely professional. We still have an account at a commercial bank, but I don’t know if we’ll keep it much longer. ---
**Author:** ![DavisMcDavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@DavisMcDavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavisMcDavis)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/12 "2000-10-17T20:16:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sdimbert \* > \*\* > I bank at BofA and _love_ it. > > But, that is because I made sure to set things up right. You see, when I lived in NYC, Chase jerked me around a coupla times. \*\* Ugh! I HATED Chase - I had them for so long and they charged me fees up the wazoo. It would end up being like $20 a month, and that was when I would use their ATM’S! I finally got enough money together, no thanks to them, to open an account with Telebank (now known as E\*TradeBank), so not only can I pay all my bills, including my rent, online, but they pay interest on my checking account AND don’t charge fees AND provide 4 $1.50 ATM refunds a month, so I can use anyone’s ATM each month for four times for free. And I’ve never been charged a fee by them, even when I’ve dipped below the minimum briefly. So if you don’t mind a $1,000 minimum balance, it’s a really great choice, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/13 "2000-10-17T20:31:07Z")
**Satan** Im trying not to get the image of the devil being pissed in the bank line, actually it’s the what he does afterwards part that Im trying to shake. Funny thing, I asked around and everone said it was a handwritten sign (or copied) next to the “real” tellers, but there was no way of knowing unless you had great cision pr until you’d already waited in the normal customer line. **sdimbert** I used to bank there. Here’s why I stopped. I had a checkbook come up missing (not sure if lost or stolen), when I noticed it I called the bank. Luckily whover had gotten a hold of had only written $200 out of the account. BofA took 6 months to return it to me, even though the branch manager acknowledged the sig on the check looked nothing like mine, I had reported the checks stolen, and I had done the required police reporting. It wasn’t the amount so much that bothered me, it was that they’d treat a customer so shabbily. ---
**Author:** ![sdimbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdimbert/32/20204_2.png) [@sdimbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdimbert)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/14 "2000-10-17T21:35:10Z")
**stuffinb** , if that sort of thing happened to me, I would just call my Private Banker - She would take care of it. It is a great program because I get to talk to someone who is actually empowered to make decisions and take actions. I repeat: never, ever, ever go to a teller. You are in the bank to do business… sit down at a desk and get taken care of. YOU call the shots, because it’s their job to make YOU happy. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/15 "2000-10-17T21:43:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\*Banks are desperately searching for ways to make more money, and they’re pissing off customers in the process. > \*\* I believe the word for this is GREED. Or have banks all of a sudden become poor? I hope that story you told was true, Sauron. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/16 "2000-10-17T21:47:40Z")
reminds me. does anyone have a link to the story of that guy who had money deposited in his account? You know the one, he deposited a fake check, they gave him the money, then tried to take it back, then tried to sue him? I know I saw his website a year or so ago. ---
**Author:** ![monkeylucifer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@monkeylucifer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeylucifer)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/17 "2000-10-17T22:31:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by oldscratch \* > \*\*reminds me. does anyone have a link to the story of that guy who had money deposited in his account? You know the one, he deposited a fake check, they gave him the money, then tried to take it back, then tried to sue him? I know I saw his website a year or so ago. \*\* [$95,093.35!!](http://www.dnai.com/~pcombs/%24%24tablecontents.html) \<—The Guys tells his whole story. [Bank Credits Fake Check](http://www.urbanlegends.com/misc/bank_credits_fake_check.html) \<—Summary of story at AFU and Urban Legends Archive ---
**Author:** ![sdimbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdimbert/32/20204_2.png) [@sdimbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdimbert)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/18 "2000-10-18T01:51:20Z")
**monkeylucifer** , thanks for the $95,000 link… that story is _fantastic!_ ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/19 "2000-10-18T18:35:15Z")
Thank **you** monkeylucifer. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289/20 "2000-10-18T20:57:22Z")
Three major banks we do business with (why not name 'em?) **B** lech **of A** (or **B** unch **of A** holes); Well, how Far do I have to Go; and Washington Mutually hated. All have pissed us off equally, but we still bank with 'em. We can get good service at the small B of A branch (where our accounts were opened) because we know the manager, asst. manager, 60% of the tellers. All other branches of B of A, and all other banks, are equally disturbing. They also cannot get enough help in this (Bay) Area, so they are typically under-staffed. Shit I hate going to the bank, but glad we have the accounts… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-it-were-closing-our-accounts/37289.md?page=2)