# "That's no moon.." **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 1, 2015, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602 "2015-09-01T13:40:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/1 "2015-09-01T13:40:52Z")
“…it’s a space station” Yeah, no shit. It’s the Death Star. It took 20 years, and millions of workers to build. How the \*\*\*\* is this a surprise? Okay, fine… Kenobi has been in the desert. But Han Solo acts like this is a huge surprise to him as well. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/2 "2015-09-01T13:47:49Z")
Same way they bred millions of clones without anybody noticing, or made millions of droids: do it on (or next to) an uninhabited planet (see: Ewoks) and don’t tell anybody about it. Also, chances are a bunch of the people who built it are either in it, doing maintenance, or building the next one (see again: Ewoks). ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/3 "2015-09-01T13:50:05Z")
Not a huge SW fan but… Space is big. Really big. You may think it’s a long road to the chemists, but that’s peanuts compared to space… I’m assuming that Han Solo, as a smuggler, wasn’t exactly operating within the Empire controlled territory. Given the vastness of space, one little moon sized space station would easily be overlooked unless you happened to be within sight of it. …which begs the question: Given the vastness of the Evil Empire ™, how could they get that massive, moon sized station, from one system to the next? And don’t tell me they hyperspaced it from place to place, it’s just too damn big. The sheer amount of energy needed to get something that massive up to warp speed would be more energy than exists in entire galaxies. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/4 "2015-09-01T13:54:32Z")
The Empire’s only news outlet is Fox. ---
**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/5 "2015-09-01T13:55:38Z")
Somewhere on one or another of the DVDs, you can see footage of the various actors’ screen tests. Harrison Ford’s screen test for Solo included lines to the effect of “If the Empire was building something that big, I would have heard about it.” So at some point in the writing process, Lucas apparently did think about that. But that dialogue didn’t make the final script, and thus we have just one more Star Wars mystery to ponder. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/6 "2015-09-01T14:07:55Z")
> [@Apocalypso](#): > > Not a huge SW fan but… > Space is big. Really big. You may think it’s a long road to the chemists, but that’s peanuts compared to space… > I’m assuming that Han Solo, as a smuggler, wasn’t exactly operating within the Empire controlled territory. Given the vastness of space, one little moon sized space station would easily be overlooked unless you happened to be within sight of it. > > …which begs the question: Given the vastness of the Evil Empire ™, how could they get that massive, moon sized station, from one system to the next? And don’t tell me they hyperspaced it from place to place, it’s just too damn big. The sheer amount of energy needed to get something that massive up to warp speed would be more energy than exists in entire galaxies. “Warp speed”? Wrong franchise. It’s true, though, that it seems unlikely that a “station” (actually a spaceship) like the Death Star could\*\* jump into hyperspace\*\*, but it does - first to Aldaraan, then to Yavin. But then, it has access to enough energy to destroy a planet, so who knows? Maybe using an invented technology like faster-than-light travel is chump change compared to that. Which reminds me of something - the Emperor was full of shit when he said that Death Star II was “fully functional” at the Battle of Endor, right? The only part even remotely working was the gun, and even then, all we know is that it was powerful enough to take out a cruiser, not a planet. Besides that, the station couldn’t travel into hyperspace, couldn’t maneuver in regular space, had no defenses, and couldn’t even generate its own shield. I guess Palpatine had a different definition of “fully” than the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/7 "2015-09-01T14:12:44Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > “Warp speed”? Wrong franchise. > > It’s true, though, that it seems unlikely that a “station” (actually a spaceship) like the Death Star could\*\* jump into hyperspace\*\*, but it does - first to Aldaraan, then to Yavin. But then, it has access to enough energy to destroy a planet, so who knows? Maybe using an invented technology like faster-than-light travel is chump change compared to that. > > Which reminds me of something - the Emperor was full of shit when he said that Death Star II was “fully functional” at the Battle of Endor, right? The only part even remotely working was the gun, and even then, all we know is that it was powerful enough to take out a cruiser, not a planet. Besides that, the station couldn’t travel into hyperspace, couldn’t maneuver in regular space, had no defenses, and couldn’t even generate its own shield. I guess Palpatine had a different definition of “fully” than the rest of us. Perhaps he was using the same definition he uses for his withered, force-electricity charred…well…you all probably didn’t wake up this morning expecting that image. As for the DS-2’s main gun. It takes forever to charge up to planet-destroying. Much less for “Cruiser annihilation” ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/8 "2015-09-01T14:19:00Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Which reminds me of something - the Emperor was full of shit when he said that Death Star II was “fully functional” at the Battle of Endor, right? To be fair, I believe he says it’s “fully armed and operational,” which is accurate. Not every system is working, but it’s far from just a big defenseless lump. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/9 "2015-09-01T14:20:45Z")
Speaking of Death Star nitpicks…at some point did Empire economists realize they don’t NEED the Death Star to control the Empire? Think about it. The first trilogy is an amazing statement on military overreach and greed. The very fact that the Empire could survive the destruction of a 20 year project like the Death Star…which got less mileage than the Titanic…means they don’t need a Death Star! The Emperor dissolved the Senate because he had the Death Star! Despite all that…the Rebellion is still this insignificant ragtag group holed away on an ice planet. This would be like Obama saying, “HA! You Southerners were right all along! I AM a Socialist Muslim! Welcome to my third term bitches! Don’t like it?? Say hello to Airforce One! Now equipped with death lasers and a force field! And to prove how evil I am…I’m going to blow up the Alamo!” And then getting Air Force One shot down. ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/10 "2015-09-01T14:33:07Z")
> [@Apocalypso](#): > > Space is big. Really big. You may think it’s a long road to the chemists, but that’s peanuts compared to space… I have a vague recollection of one of the EU novels talking about an entire fleet of ships going missing, not because anything bad happened to them, but just because for some reason they got parked in a non-standard spot and no one could find them again. ---
**Author:** ![Gothic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Gothic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gothic)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/11 "2015-09-01T14:34:27Z")
The dark side of the force clouds everything, impossible to see this moon is. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/12 "2015-09-01T14:37:29Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > I have a vague recollection of one of the EU novels talking about an entire fleet of ships going missing, not because anything bad happened to them, but just because for some reason they got parked in a non-standard spot and no one could find them again. [The Katana fleet.](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Katana_fleet) ---
**Author:** ![Stoneburg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Stoneburg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoneburg)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/13 "2015-09-01T14:41:37Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > Speaking of Death Star nitpicks…at some point did Empire economists realize they don’t NEED the Death Star to control the Empire? Think about it. The first trilogy is an amazing statement on military overreach and greed. > > The very fact that the Empire could survive the destruction of a 20 year project like the Death Star…which got less mileage than the Titanic…means they don’t need a Death Star! > > The Emperor dissolved the Senate because he had the Death Star! Despite all that…the Rebellion is still this insignificant ragtag group holed away on an ice planet. > > This would be like Obama saying, “HA! You Southerners were right all along! I AM a Socialist Muslim! Welcome to my third term bitches! Don’t like it?? Say hello to Airforce One! Now equipped with death lasers and a force field! And to prove how evil I am…I’m going to blow up the Alamo!” > > And then getting Air Force One shot down. Please let this happen. Please let this happen. Please let this happen. Please let this happen. Please let this happen. _prays_ ---
**Author:** ![Stoneburg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Stoneburg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoneburg)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/14 "2015-09-01T14:43:46Z")
“It’s just a moon.” - Last words of many Death Star deniers on Alderaan. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/15 "2015-09-01T15:06:17Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > “Warp speed”? Wrong franchise. Ludicrous Speed! ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/16 "2015-09-01T15:49:07Z")
“Space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist, but that’s just peanuts to space.” As a corollary, it’s easy to hide things in it. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/17 "2015-09-01T15:57:21Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > The Empire’s only news outlet is Fox. Ollie Williams, Death Star News Weather Report: [Space Weather!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YYtSkKtCqQ) ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/18 "2015-09-01T16:18:56Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > “Warp speed”? Wrong franchise. > > It’s true, though, that it seems unlikely that a “station” (actually a spaceship) like the Death Star could\*\* jump into hyperspace\*\*, but it does - first to Aldaraan, then to Yavin. But then, it has access to enough energy to destroy a planet, so who knows? Maybe using an invented technology like faster-than-light travel is chump change compared to that. > > Which reminds me of something - the Emperor was full of shit when he said that Death Star II was “fully functional” at the Battle of Endor, right? The only part even remotely working was the gun, and even then, all we know is that it was powerful enough to take out a cruiser, not a planet. Besides that, the station couldn’t travel into hyperspace, couldn’t maneuver in regular space, had no defenses, and couldn’t even generate its own shield. I guess Palpatine had a different definition of “fully” than the rest of us. [Hey, the _Jean Bart_ at Casablanca](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_battleship_Jean_Bart_(1940)#At_Casablanca) was also “fully operational.” (Ok she accomplished sweet fuck all). ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/19 "2015-09-01T17:03:15Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Which reminds me of something - the Emperor was full of shit when he said that Death Star II was “fully functional” at the Battle of Endor, right? The only part even remotely working was the gun, and even then, all we know is that it was powerful enough to take out a cruiser, not a planet. Besides that, the station couldn’t travel into hyperspace, couldn’t maneuver in regular space, had no defenses, and couldn’t even generate its own shield. I guess Palpatine had a different definition of “fully” than the rest of us. It was “fully operational” in the same sense as the F-35 ‘Lightning II’; it is as functional as the Space Based Infrared System (SBIRS); it is as ready to field as the Ground Based Mid-Course Defense System (GMD); and as on schedule as the KC-46 ‘Pegasus’ tanker aircraft. In other words, the Empire in the _Star Wars_ universe uses the same procurement metrics as the US Department of Defense. Also, if you put a black full mask helmet and cape on Dick Cheney and put a shrouded flashlight in his hand he’d look and talk essentially like Darth Vader. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602/20 "2015-09-01T17:36:52Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Also, if you put a black full mask helmet and cape on Dick Cheney and put a shrouded flashlight in his hand he’d look and talk essentially like Darth Vader. An _evil_ Darth Vader. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-no-moon/729602.md?page=2)