All the science indicates that epidurals increase risk. So, like other interventions, they should be reserved for times when they are needed. I think most people vastly overestimate the amount of pain, and vastly underestimate women’s ability to cope with the pain. Most of the time it is manageable, and it’s a unique pain - it’s not an indication of something wrong, like a broken leg, so it’s a completely different experience.
And while I did decide to forgo pain meds during labor due to intellectual risk-weighing after careful research, I’m also happy and proud that I was willing and able to go through something hard and uncomfortable to give my babies the best chance at health and wellbeing. Pain for pain’s sake as some kind of esoteric honor test is silly, but pain for the sake of helping a loved one *is *honorable.
The doc wants me to get another sonagram next week (assuming I haven’t gone into labor by then) to get another size estimate. He hasn’t brought up c-section at all. I think he just wants to be preparred if the baby really is that big.
I think I’m going to try to stick to my guns about the “no epidural” thing. I was thinking about asking the hospital staff to warn me when I was getting to the point where an epidural would no longer be an option, and decide then (depending on how much pain I was in). All the mothers I’ve talked to about it though say if I do that there’s no way I’ll have the willpower to say no.
An anesthesiologist may not be available at that point, too. If you want an epidural, it’s best to go for it once you’ve reached 5 cm, so you (supposedly) have time for the anesthesiologist to get there. And as a mother that said no, I can tell you that you can have the willpower, if you have information. There’s nothing wrong with getting an epidural, as long as you know what you want, and under what circumstances you want it. I have a lot of faith that you are far more capable than you know, and that you can make a rational decision under that kind of stress, if that’s what you want to do. Don’t let the words of others (including mine) change what you think you are capable of. You know you best.
There are risks involved in having sex, getting pregnant, raising a child. Epidurals hardly pose a unique threat to a mother or baby’s well-being.
Women don’t “generally” do much of anything, as we all have unique reasons for making the choices we do. But to deny that there is an element of “I’m so tough I can take it” element to some decisions to forgo an epidural is to deny reality. I’ve had friends openly brag about their ability to withstand childbirth without painkillers, and they aren’t bragging about their ability to review data and weigh risks.
When I gave birth, the excited e-mail my husband sent to everyone inadvertently implied I had had no pain killers. (I did, in fact, have an epidural.) The kudos that flowed in were pretty amusing. I got all kinds of unwarranted praise for my ability to withstand pain. Clearly, women reap admiration for enduring the rigors of childbirth without pain relief. That is a simply a fact, and consciously or unconsciously it can have an effect on decision-making.
If you want to try to forgo the epidural, don’t let them give you pitocin, either. Apparently pitocin contractions are much more painful than natural ones.
