# THAT'S Where My Suitcase Full of Baboon Noses Got To! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 3, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341 "2003-09-03T16:25:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/1 "2003-09-03T16:25:09Z")
AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) – Around 2,000 baboon noses were found packed in an abandoned suitcase at Amsterdam airport when they started to stink, officials said Wednesday. Dutch customs police made the gruesome discovery last week and turned the case over to the Agriculture Ministry’s Inspection Service, which said it had several leads that may help it track down the culprits. The noses - around 66 pounds worth - were en route from Lagos, Nigeria, to the United States and are believed to have been meant to be eaten or used in traditional medicine by immigrants. “It is known that many inhabitants of Asian and African countries ascribe beneficial properties to these medicines and use them for that reason,” the Inspection Service said in a statement. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/2 "2003-09-03T16:33:08Z")
Sounds like “Bad News” to me. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/3 "2003-09-03T16:34:51Z")
“My baboon’s got no nose!” “How does he smell?” “Awful!” ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/4 "2003-09-03T16:38:31Z")
Man 1 " My baboon has no nose. " Man 2 " Really, how does it smell. " Man 1 " Through a complicated series of levers. " No wait, that’s not it… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/5 "2003-09-03T18:42:17Z")
Don’t you hate it when you grab the wrong bag at the airport, get to your hotel, and when you open it, instead of your clothes you find 66 pounds of baboon noses? “Let’s see; I _guess_ I copuld staple them together into a kind of skirt . . .” ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/6 "2003-09-03T18:47:27Z")
Joseph Mgwabibaba: “Boy, I’m beat. What a long flight. I didn’t think we’d ever get home.” Gloria Mgwabibab: “You said it. That layover in Amsterdam is murder. Let’s see if we can book a direct flight next time.” JM: “Here, help me unpack the bags.” GB: “Hmmm…this one seems awfully light…WHAT THE FUCK? There’s clothes in this suitcase!” JM: “CLOHTES! Damn it, Gloria, if I told you once, I told you ten thousand times - THE BABOON NOSES ARE IN THE RED SUITCASE, LINGERIE IS IN THE BLUE SUITCASE. RED=NOSES, BLUE=LINGERIE!” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/7 "2003-09-03T18:53:01Z")
You know, you only need _50_ pounds of baboon noses if you use Baboon Nose Helper . . . ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/8 "2003-09-03T19:03:14Z")
Now see, I’d rather have stories like this posted to the SDMB to puzzle over, rather than those ubiquitous “Guys Sets Fire to Helpless Infant” type stories where everyone just comes up with meaner and meaner hells for the fellow to burn in. Although as an animal lover, I am probably supposed to be outraged about the poor schnozzless baboons… ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/9 "2003-09-03T19:08:53Z")
Sadly, right now there are several hundred baboons in Nigeria with no place to put their fingers. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/10 "2003-09-03T19:17:45Z")
It’s going to be awfully hard now to convince those baboons that stories about waking up in Central Park in a bed of ice without your nose is just another Urban Myth. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/11 "2003-09-03T19:27:24Z")
So, which state is Oscar Meyer based in, again? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/12 "2003-09-03T19:28:39Z")
“Home. I haff no home. Hanted . . . despised . . . liffing like an animal – de jongle is my home! But I vill show de vorld dat I can be its master. I shall perfect my own rice of baboons – a rice of noseless baboons dat vill _conquer de vorld!_” ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/13 "2003-09-03T19:47:33Z")
“Hello, I’m Marlin Perkins, your host for 'Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. Today, Jim and I will attempt to put prosthetic noses on several hundred baboons in Nigeria. Lucky for us, and the baboons, the Acme Novelty Company of Devlin, Indiana, was able to supply us with the required number of noses…and they didn’t even seem to mind the big glasses and moustaches, either.” ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/14 "2003-09-03T20:00:36Z")
DEAR FRIEND, I AM THE WIDOW OF SOME BIG IMPORTANT NIGERIAN DUDE. I MUST REQUEST YOUR CONFIDENTIAL ASSISTANCE IN THE TRANSFER OF 2000 BABOON NOSES… ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/15 "2003-09-03T20:09:15Z")
Has nobody here heard of the Nigerian baboon nose scam? I get emails about it all the time. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/16 "2003-09-03T20:12:41Z")
darn you, \*\*Already in Use \*\*. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/17 "2003-09-03T20:13:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > \*\*Sounds like “Bad News” to me. \*\* ::Snork:: ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/18 "2003-09-03T20:27:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > \*\*Sounds like “Bad News” to me. \*\* More like “Bad Nose”. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/19 "2003-09-03T20:37:50Z")
I just popped in to say I _love_ this thread title. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341/20 "2003-09-03T23:14:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > **…The noses - around 66 pounds worth …** The authorities underestimated the power of the open market, I reckon I could’ve sold them for more than £66 on eBay. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thats-where-my-suitcase-full-of-baboon-noses-got-to/199341.md?page=2)