# The 19th SDMB Corps is here!! Join NOW!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2000, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058 "2000-07-19T03:11:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/1 "2000-07-19T03:11:34Z")
Good People of the Teeming Millions, Some of us have organized under the 19th Straight Dope Message Board Corps with the declaration of Unrestricted War upon the following: 1. 5 2. 'N SYNC 3. THE BACKSTREET BOYS 4. 98 DEGREES 5. CHRISTINA AGUILERA 6. MANDY MOORE 7. JESSICA SIPMSON 8. B\*WITCHED 9. THE BAND 10. HANSON 11. BRITNEY SPEARS The charge of war has been indicted under “Intellectual Genocide” and “Conspiracy to commit Intellectual Genocide”. We have organized, and the following dopers have answered the call - **Order of Battle: 18 July, 2000** Mr Tripler - _Chief Prosecutor, Political Advisor, Maestro of the Madness_ General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - _Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps (19 SDMB)_ **19th Corps Staff Officers** Colonel Arnold Winkelried - _Director of Staff (DOS/19 SO)_ Major Lurkernomore - _Intelligence Officer, Sortie Generation(INTEL/19 SO)_ Major Bucky - _Military Security Police and POW Camp Commander (SP/19 SO)_ \*\* Lieutenant Little\*Bit - _Interrogations/POW Handler (IPH/SP/19 SO)_ **19th Air Combat Group** Colonel Falcon - _Commander 19th Air Combat Group (19 AG)_ Major KimKatt - _Commander 19th Bomb Squadron (BS/19 AG)_ \*\* One Flock of Canadian Geese - _Aircrew, 19th Bomb Squadron (BS/19 AG)_ **19th Ground Combat Group (19 GC)** Major SwimmingRiddles - _Commander Alpha Company, Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (A/19 GC)_ Major Donnie Rotten - _Commander Echo Company, Mechanized Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (E/19 GC)_ Major Magdalene - _Commander Foxtrot Company, Heavy Weapons, 19th Battalion Landing Team (F/19 GC)_ Major Myrr21 - \*Golf Company, Armor (Amphib), 19th Battalion Landing Team (Golf/19 GC) \* Major Sledman - _Commander Mike Company, Artillery, 19th Battalion Landing Team (M/19 GC)_ Captain RedDragon60 - _Commander Recon/Sniper Platoon (Recon /19 GC )_ \*\* Staff Sergeant Kiva - _Recon/Sniper Team One (1/Recon/19 GC)_ Captain Balance - _Special Operations/Unconventional Warfare Officer (SW/19 GC)_ \*\* Secret Agent Dragwyr - _Operator/Field Agent 001 (001/SW/19 GC)_ \*\* Secret Agent Iampunha - _Operator/Field Agent 002 (002/SW/19 GC)_ \*\* Secret Agent Shay519 - _Operator/Field Agent 519 (519/SW/19 GC)_ **19th Naval Combat Group** Captain (Naval) Amulet - _Commander Naval Combat Group (19 NCG)_ Lieutenant (Naval) Homer - _Chief of Navel (get it?) Operations (CNO/19 NCG)_ Please . . . Stand tall, and stand firm. Enlist now, and help us take on the tyranny and oppression that these ‘teenie boppers’ bring. Show your support! CECIL WANTS **YOU** FOR THE FIGHTING 19th!! Tripler “Easy kids, there’s plenty of plastic explosives for everybody…” ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/2 "2000-07-19T03:16:52Z")
I just want to be Secretary of Tuna ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/3 "2000-07-19T03:28:39Z")
I see you don’t have a rear echelon commander. Mind if I fill the spot? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/4 "2000-07-19T03:37:01Z")
**Order of Battle: 18 July, 2000** Mr Tripler - _Chief Prosecutor, Political Advisor, Maestro of the Madness_ General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - _Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps (19 SDMB)_ **19th Corps Staff Officers** Colonel Arnold Winkelried - _Director of Staff (DOS/19 SO)_ Major Lurkernomore - _Intelligence Officer, Sortie Generation(INTEL/19 SO)_ Major Bucky - _Military Security Police and POW Camp Commander (SP/19 SO)_ \*\* Lieutenant Little\*Bit - _Interrogations/POW Handler (IPH/SP/19 SO)_ **19th Air Combat Group** Colonel Falcon - _Commander 19th Air Combat Group (19 AG)_ Major KimKatt - _Commander 19th Bomb Squadron (BS/19 AG)_ \*\* One Flock of Canadian Geese - _Aircrew, 19th Bomb Squadron (BS/19 AG)_ **19th Ground Combat Group (19 GC)** Major SwimmingRiddles - _Commander Alpha Company, Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (A/19 GC)_ Major Donnie Rotten - _Commander Echo Company, Mechanized Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (E/19 GC)_ Major Magdalene - _Commander Foxtrot Company, Heavy Weapons, 19th Battalion Landing Team (F/19 GC)_ Major Myrr21 - _Golf Company, Armor (Amphib), 19th Battalion Landing Team (G/19 GC) \* Major Monster104 - \* Hotel Company, Armor, 19th Battalion Landing Team (H/19 GC)_ Major Sledman - _Commander Mike Company, Artillery, 19th Battalion Landing Team (M/19 GC)_ Captain RedDragon60 - _Commander Recon/Sniper Platoon (Recon /19 GC )_ \*\* Staff Sergeant Kiva - _Recon/Sniper Team One (1/Recon/19 GC)_ Captain Balance - _Special Operations/Unconventional Warfare Officer (SW/19 GC)_ \*\* Secret Agent Dragwyr - _Operator/Field Agent 001 (001/SW/19 GC)_ \*\* Secret Agent Iampunha - _Operator/Field Agent 002 (002/SW/19 GC)_ \*\* Secret Agent Shay519 - _Operator/Field Agent 519 (519/SW/19 GC)_ **19th Naval Combat Group** Captain (Naval) Amulet - _Commander Naval Combat Group (19 NCG)_ Lieutenant (Naval) Homer - _Chief of Navel (get it?) Operations (CNO/19 NCG)_ Lt Commander Aha - _Commander SSN Tuna Hunter (SSN/19 NGC)_ New Recruits: Major Monster104 - \* Hotel Company, Armor, Flank Security/Rear Guard, (H/19 GC)\* Lt Commander Aha - _Commander SSN Tuna Hunter (SSN/19 NGC)_ He gets under tuna and kills it. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/5 "2000-07-19T03:37:52Z")
Captain of the Sniper Corps, reporting for duty! ---
**Author:** ![Quadzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/a4c791/32.png) [@Quadzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quadzilla)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/6 "2000-07-19T03:41:45Z")
I’m there. I can engineer some feedback to start messing things up…“Well, Ms. Spears…looks like that solar storm is just wreaking all sorts of havoc with your mike there…” Heh, heh, heh. ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/7 "2000-07-19T03:43:10Z")
Retired USAF here. No I don’t wanna position. I wish to be a conscientious objector and anti-war activist, for a change. :::unveiling Britney Spears T-shirt and matching lunch box::: STOP THE UNRESTRICTED WARFARE ON BRITNEY AND CHRISTINA!!! BRITNEY IS A NUCLEAR-FREE ZONE!! GIVE PIZZA CHANTS!!! :::throwing overripe tomato at Herr Gruppenfuhrer Tripler::: SIEG HEIL, CULTURE NAZI!! :::thumbing nose at Colonel Falcon, waving peace sign::: CAGE THE FALCON!! SEND HER BACK TO MALTA!! :::throwing another tomato at Lieutenant Homer::: HOMER THE DONKEY-PUNCHING WAR CRIMINAL!!! Oh, shit. Is that tear gas?? Gotta run, bye. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kiva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d78d45/32.png) [@Kiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiva)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/8 "2000-07-19T04:06:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by red\_dragon60 \* > \*\*Captain of the Sniper Corps, reporting for duty! \*\* Captain red\_dragon, Sir! Staff Sergeant Kiva, Recon/Sniper Team One–with my brand new uzi–ready and awaiting orders. While we’re waiting, can I smack the protesters around a little? ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/9 "2000-07-19T04:31:00Z")
:::Looking at 19th SDMB Corps and hoping I get help::: (In best Monty Python voice) YOU DON’T FRIGHTEN US SDMB CORPS PIG-DOGS!! NOW GO AWAY, OR I WILL TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME!! YOUR MOTHERS WERE ALL HAMSTERS AND YOUR FATHERS SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!! ---
**Author:** ![dorkbro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@dorkbro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkbro)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/10 "2000-07-19T04:37:34Z")
You just have to love a lost cause. I’m with Bluepony 1, 2, 3, 4, WE WON’T FIGHT YOUR CULTURE WAR. (Repeat ad nauseum - should be about three times) ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/11 "2000-07-19T04:40:56Z")
Need anybody shot? I’ll help. ::cinches up leg tie-downs on holsters:: ---
**Author:** ![dorkbro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@dorkbro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkbro)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/12 "2000-07-19T04:50:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gunslinger \* > \*\*Need anybody shot? I’ll help. ::cinches up leg tie-downs on holsters:: \*\* Uh, Bluepony, why do images of Kent State University keep running through my mind? ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/13 "2000-07-19T04:57:46Z")
Dorkbro, Oh yeah, wear these… :::hands Dorkbro armor made up of cooking utensils and trash can lids::: ::: Pushes cooler over ::: Hand me a beer will ya? Pissing off the Establishment is hot and dirty work! 😃 :::bends over an moons Kiva and the rest of 19th SDMB Corps sniper unit::: HEY!! GET AN I.R. LOCK ON THIS!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dorkbro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@dorkbro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkbro)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/14 "2000-07-19T05:02:07Z")
Hey, thanks for the armor. Here’s your brew. Now, I will just grab a bunch of daisys and start dropping them into that Uzi of Kiva’s. ---
**Author:** ![Kiva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d78d45/32.png) [@Kiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiva)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/15 "2000-07-19T05:06:47Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Bluepony \* > :::bends over an moons Kiva and the rest of 19th SDMB Corps sniper unit:::_\* EEEEUUUGH. I thought this was a _non-violent_ protest. I think I’m going to be sick. Possibly in your beer cooler. \ Hey, can I wing a couple of protesters? Please? I won’t kill 'em…promise. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/16 "2000-07-19T05:35:19Z")
I volunteer to whip all these brand new pansy-ass officers into shape. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/17 "2000-07-19T05:41:55Z")
Is that a promise, Chiefy? ---
**Author:** ![dorkbro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@dorkbro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkbro)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/18 "2000-07-19T05:43:33Z")
If ever there was a time for this old chestnut … MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR!!! ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/19 "2000-07-19T06:13:36Z")
Ummm _looks around cautiously then surreptuously helps Kevin Richardson to hide in her closet then making sure he is safe make her way to the recruitment office violin in hand_ I’m here to sign up sir! _gives the Spaceballs salute_ ---
**Author:** ![2sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e47774/32.png) [@2sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2sense)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058/20 "2000-07-19T06:25:40Z")
Well assuming that by “the band” you are refering to that inane TV show and not the people who backed up Dylan, I am willing to volunteer my services. I must note that having no college degree I do not qualify as a commisioned officer but would be willing to accept warrent officer status. I think that I would be most valuable “in the rear with the gear”. Perhaps Major Monster104 could use a dog robber? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-19th-sdmb-corps-is-here-join-now/26058.md?page=2)