# The 2006 Rat's Ass Awards
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [December 27, 2006, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799 "2006-12-27T22:47:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/41 "2006-12-28T16:21:46Z")
Hey, Tuckerfan! Is Randy’s Record Shop still in business?
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/42 "2006-12-28T16:23:04Z")
[QUOTE=AtomicDog]
Hey, Tuckerfan! Is Randy’s Record Shop still in business?
[/QUOTE]
Never heard of it. Where was it?
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/43 "2006-12-28T16:36:22Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy]
I don’t give a rat’s ass about Jesus in a taco, the virgin in a sandwich, allah in an eggplant, or the words of the profit in a tomato.
[/QUOTE]
Or any gnus about the air to the British thrown (you know, the prints).
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### Author:  [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/44 "2006-12-28T16:38:57Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan]
Never heard of it. Where was it?
[/QUOTE]
Gallatin, Tennessee. Was advertised a lot on WLAC back in the "60s and early '70s.
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### Author:  [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/45 "2006-12-28T17:02:33Z")
[QUOTE=gonzomax]
The space rock is coming 2036.
[/QUOTE]
What, another one? From [space.com](http://www.space.com/news/050519_asteroid_mission.html):
> [@](#):
>
> [SPACE.com](http://SPACE.com) was provided a copy of the paper Schweickart will present. In it, he carries out an informal analysis of the situation. He notes that the asteroid will be mostly out of view from 2006 to 2012. When it re-emerges, fresh observation **will likely reduce the 2036 impact chance to zero** , he said.
I repeat. Big fat hairy fucking deal.
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/46 "2006-12-28T17:09:07Z")
[QUOTE=AtomicDog]
Gallatin, Tennessee. Was advertised a lot on WLAC back in the "60s and early '70s.
[/QUOTE]
No longer around, I’d say, given that I’ve lived here for almost 10 years now and have never heard of it.
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### Author:  [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/47 "2006-12-28T18:02:30Z")
I’m going to nominate for a Rat’s Ass® not a news meme, but one particular focus of certain news stories: the Incidental “Where”.
In some stories, the where is critical: impending Tsunamis, Three Mile Island, serial molester in the neighborhood, life found in the solar system, 75% off electronics sale. In many of the rest of them, “where” is mentioned for completeness, but it DOES NOT MATTER.
The world is a shrinking place these days, and we get news beamed to us by satellite and internet and Bluetooth and everything nbut ePigeon. Many of the local papers have micro versions free for commuters, they all have websites, and half of those have downloadable podcasts. Eveyone gets things from the wire services or Fark or the Straight Dope.
So when a story of minor interest occurs (“Man falls off donkey while robbing bank”) or an uninteresting story with no real location occurs (“Google to license Bluetooth”) or a story whose location is moot occurs (“Federal Reserve is Mentioned in Headline”), and I share it with people…what is _the first damned thing they ask?_
“Where did that happen? Where was that? Where?”
If I say “Czechoslovakia,” they usually grunt, “uh”, as if to imply “That kind of thing is _always_ happening to those crazy Chzechs!”
If I say “Dimwit County”, they they usually grunt, “uh”, as if to imply “What do you expect from Dimwitters?”
If I say “the next town over”, they they usually grunt, “uh”, as if to imply “Huh, that close?”
But it usually _does not matter_ where six children were drowned by their money-grubbing mother, or some computer nerd’s friends gave him a Viking funeral, complete with flaming Drakkar, or toast shaped like the Madonna popped up golden-brown. The facts of the story matter, the bizarre nature of people matters, we’ll all shake our heads at the Darwin awards because of what people do, but NOBODY CARES if the guy died in Arizona or New Mexico. At least, nobody 1,000 miles away, reading it online or in a newspaper, cares.
And _I_don’t care. I had a hard enough time remembering he fell off a donkey while drowning Nicole Richie – I paid no attention at all to “Numchuck, Idaho” in the byline.
So here’s your Rat’s Ass® award!
Do NOT ask me “where” the ceremony will be.
Sailboat
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/48 "2006-12-28T19:04:31Z")
[QUOTE=BobLibDem]
Yeah, but at the time the country needed American cheese on white with mayo.
[/QUOTE]
Shit, right now, I’d vote for a handful of stale bread crumbs mixed with a few stray dog hairs.
My rat’s-ass nomination: “Is Windows Vista coming out _this week?_ No, well, maybe… _this week?_ Possibly. No, wait, never mind. Oh, okay, _this week_ finally!” Just release the fucker or don’t, and tell me when you actually have a real event to report. I tuned out the bafflegab so much, I almost missed the actual launch date when it happened.
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### Author:  [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/49 "2006-12-28T19:15:55Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton]
Those damned zombies. **How many times do we have to hear** about how much faster they are than the old models?! Principle remains the same: Put a bullet through the head and forget about it!
[/QUOTE]
Amen… besides running Zombies are so 1985…
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### Author:  [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/50 "2006-12-28T19:26:24Z")
“Celebrities” of all kinds are my biggest “Who Gives A Rat’s Ass”\* topic. As I stand in line at the grocery store I am in absolute awe that anyone woud actually care about any of this stuff. Yet apparently very large numbers of people do.
\*WGARA - Pronounced wi-GA-ra, could be a new word for 2007.
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### Author:  [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/51 "2006-12-28T19:44:40Z")
[QUOTE=AtomicDog]
Is Randy’s Record Shop still in business?
[/QUOTE]
[Nope.](http://my.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?Date=99999999&Category=MICRO06060501&ArtNo=399990248&SectionCat=&Template=printart) (Warning: That URL pops up a window to print the page for some reason)
> [@](#):
>
> Randy’s Record Shop - The marker for Randy’s Record shop was erected in 1993 at intersection of Nashville Pike (U.S. 31E) and Red River Road (Tenn. 25). The business, which opened in 1945 and closed in the summer of 1991, was owned by music producer Randy Wood and his family. Famous throughout the United States, many music careers of the 1950s are said to have been launched at the record store.
> [@Max Torque](#):
>
> Christ, one of the stations here even promotes, during the news mind you, these goofy weather warning radios you can buy (“Worth $70, but we’ve got a special deal on them for just $30!” For a radio that just does weather?!)
Weather radios have been around for decades, and their feeds are a courtesy of the National Weather Service. My grandfather had one before he died, and my dad has one, too, laying around somewhere. Why that station feels the need to pimp them now (other than to profit from the ignorant) is beyond me, though.
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### Author:  [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/52 "2006-12-28T20:15:09Z")
How about that Ramsey kid? Every year we get the repeat of every single clue in the case, the details, etc. I’m so sick of it. I wish they could find her killer. But until you have some new stuff (and please, let’s try to make it legit new stuff) STFU about it already!
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### Author:  [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/53 "2006-12-28T20:24:26Z")
Brad, Angelina, and Jen. If the first one isn’t dead and the latter two aren’t naked in a bed of whipped cream together, I don’t wanna know, and probably not even then.
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### Author:  [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/54 "2006-12-28T21:04:25Z")
Thanks, **Neutron**. Sigh. Another childhood memory, listening to late night radio bites the dust.
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### Author:  [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/55 "2006-12-28T21:12:39Z")
[QUOTE=Sailboat]
If I say “Czechoslovakia,” they usually grunt, “uh”, as if to imply “That kind of thing is _always_ happening to those crazy Chzechs!”
[/QUOTE]
No such country anymore. It was dissolved into the Czech Republic and the Slovak Republic in the “Velvet Divorce” on January 1, 1993.
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### Author:  [@flickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickster)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/56 "2006-12-28T21:17:41Z")
hitting the low hanging fruit first:
Celebrities - don’t give a rat’s ass what they are eating, wearing, where they are at, who they are adopting, how they raise their kids, who they are marrying, divorcing or just humping (unless there are pics), what their opinion is, or how they want you to cry crocodile tears over their latest publicity issue.
Next: “The sky is falling” scientific community. I don’t give a rat’s ass if eating butter is going to shorten my life. If it’s the 6 months I would have spent in a bed with tubes in every orifice - then good.
Media: I don’t give a rat’s ass if every damn network reports on the same event. Having 50 reporters go though the motion of trying to ask the same frigging question over and over again (My life is much happier since I quit listening to any of them).
Media Whores: Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Cindy Sheehan and others - even though you could be included in the Celebrities grouping at the top, you deserve your own special mention.
And Last but definitely not Least:
Politicians: You ALL sicken me in more ways than I can even begin to describe
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### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/57 "2006-12-28T21:20:52Z")
What’s the diminutive nickname for this award? The Rassy? The Ratsy?
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### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/58 "2006-12-28T21:23:42Z")
[QUOTE=pravnik]
No such country anymore. It was dissolved into the Czech Republic and the Slovak Republic in the “Velvet Divorce” on January 1, 1993.
[/QUOTE]
Eh. That kind of crazy shit is always happenning to those crazy Czechs and those daffy Slovaks!
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### Author:  [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/59 "2006-12-28T21:34:55Z")
[QUOTE=BobLibDem]
Yeah, but at the time the country needed American cheese on white with mayo. It had just vomited a submarine sandwich with pickles, bologna, and whipped cream.
[/QUOTE]
I’m actually going to enjoy reading about Gerald Ford now that I will have this image in my mind… 😃
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### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-2006-rats-ass-awards/385799/60 "2006-12-28T21:35:48Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator]
Gerald R. Ford. Just for today, I guess, but 16 continuous hours to show why no one will ever write a biography of Gerald Ford. If he were a sandwhich, it would be American cheese on white with mayo.
[/QUOTE]
Some guy has been cycling through the news shows saying he was wrong about the bad things he said in his **biography of Gerald Ford**. So, a book we never heard about, or cared about, was a pack of lies. Big Deal!
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