# The 52 Funniest Things about the Upcoming Death of the Pope...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [March 4, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893 "2005-03-04T14:10:24Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Guy\_Incognito\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Incognito_1)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/1 "2005-03-04T14:10:24Z")
This was on Drudge Report this morning:
The 52 Funniest Things about the Upcoming Death of the [Pope](http://38.119.135.19/).
Okay. I felt somewhat guilty, but I laughed. Then I realized I was a long-lapsed Catholic, born-again atheist who pretty much despises the Catholic Church, and I didn’t feel guilty anymore.
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### Author:  [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/2 "2005-03-04T14:23:05Z")
Okay, I’ve read them.
Not only am I disgusted… and I’m an atheist… but they’re not funny, and I feel dumber for having taken the time.
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### Author:  [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/3 "2005-03-04T15:35:03Z")
The link doesn’t work for me.
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### Author:  [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/4 "2005-03-04T17:22:15Z")
Well, I like tacky humor as much as the next guy. Heck maybe even more! But I gotta (mostly) agree with **Quickie**. Most of them just weren’t funny, like “46.Beetles eating Pope’s dead brains.” Sigh. They _really_ needed to trim this to a “10 Funniest Things” list and then maybe just maybe it woulda worked. Hmm, as I re-read the list, make that “5 Funniest …” Then again, as I think about it, they should just fire the writer who came up with the list and hire us Dopers instead. C’mon gang, we can do better!!!
**The SDMB 10 Funniest Things about the Upcoming Death of the Pope**
I’ll start:
1. Upon reaching heaven, the Pope’s gonna be real surprised to find out who made it and who didn’t.
OK, yea it’s lame but it’s still better than 50 of the jokes those other guys came up with
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### Author:  [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/5 "2005-03-04T17:27:34Z")
1. Speculation that the next pope might name himself John Paul George Ringo.
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### Author:  [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/6 "2005-03-04T17:31:50Z")
1. After he’s been in storage for awhile, you can refer to him as a popesicle.
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### Author:  [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/7 "2005-03-04T17:35:59Z")
1. 118 old men in red dresses choose another old man to wear a white dress.
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### Author:  [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/8 "2005-03-04T17:39:19Z")
1. That Guido Sarducci guy will be pulled out of mothballs to do a SNL skit.
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### Author:  [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/9 "2005-03-04T17:43:16Z")
1. For the first time in Dead Pool history, 99% of players make the scoreboard.
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### Author:  [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/10 "2005-03-04T18:02:14Z")
> [@Giles](#):
>
> 1. Speculation that the next pope might name himself John Paul George Ringo.
Coincidentally, in a recent discussion at work I speculated that after two Pope John Pauls maybe we might finally get a Pope George Ringo.
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/11 "2005-03-04T18:05:05Z")
1. Autopsy determines the time of death was actually back in January.
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/12 "2005-03-04T18:08:00Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#):
>
> 1. For the first time in Dead Pool history, 99% of players make the scoreboard.
Let’s hear it for my fellow 1%-ers. WOO HOO!!!
_crickets_
_sound of **Casey** applauding emphatically to try and overcome the crickets chirping, and finally seeing the futility of it all_
I haven’t scored in three years. You think I’d take the just about gimme.
On the Dead Pool. I meant on the Dead Pool.
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/13 "2005-03-04T18:09:46Z")
> [@lieu](#):
>
> 1. Autopsy determines the time of death was actually back in January.
1. …and that he wasn’t even Catholic.
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### Author:  [@Alonzo\_John\_Blitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alonzo_John_Blitz)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/14 "2005-03-04T18:21:18Z")
The extra long coffin necessitated by the big hat.
[sub]Link didn’t work for me, I apologize if this was on their list[/sub]
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### Author:  [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/15 "2005-03-04T18:26:18Z")
Autopsy proves the old adage about big hats is true!
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### Author:  [@Guy\_Incognito\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Incognito_1)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/16 "2005-03-04T20:32:55Z")
A Pope Joke:
The Pope and an italian cardinal are talking about who should be next when the pope dies. They ask god for the straight dope:
The italian cardinal asks, “Will there ever be another italian pope?” To which God replies, “Yes, but not in your lifetime.”
The pope asks, “Lord, will there ever be another Polish pope?” The lord replies, “Yes, but not in my lifetime.”
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### Author:  [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/17 "2005-03-04T21:17:09Z")
That should’ve been titled: 52 nasty things said by a guy with a grudge against Catholics.
Jesus, I’m also an atheist and not a one of those were funny. I could handle them being mean if they were _funny_ but that was obviously the venomous spewings of a bitter person, not a comedian who likes to push limits.
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### Author:  [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/18 "2005-03-04T21:24:53Z")
Well, **Cisco** , if you trudge through all the vitriol there actually are a few funny ones. However, since they are so few and far between, rather than force anyone else to go over to that site (which apparently is being slammed by heavy traffic anyway), here’s the top 4 of the top 52:
> [@Matt Taibbi of the New York Press](#):
>
> 1. Michael Jackson too broke to buy Pope’s bones.
> 2. Bears everywhere shitting in woods.
> 3. Doctors examining the body discover that the Pope was not only a woman, but also Hitler.
> 4. Throw a marble at the dead Pope’s head. Bonk!
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### Author:  [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/19 "2005-03-04T22:07:28Z")
> [@Guy\_Incognito](#):
>
> They ask god for the straight dope:
Would that be the straight pope dope?
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### Author:  [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)
#### Post date: [March 5, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/20 "2005-03-05T00:42:08Z")
> [@Odinoneeye](#):
>
> Would that be the straight pope dope?
And if for some bizarre reason he was hanged, would that make him the straight pope dope on a rope?
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