# The 52 Funniest Things about the Upcoming Death of the Pope... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893 "2005-03-04T14:10:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/41 "2005-03-05T13:20:53Z")
[More on that silver hammer](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=140008) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/42 "2005-03-05T15:20:17Z")
– Pope can periodically visit Yassir Arafat and Francisco Franco to make sure they are really dead. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/43 "2005-03-05T15:59:46Z")
Well I can’t get _any_ link to work. Including the one on the actual Drudge report. Can someone give me a general impression of the _unfunny_ ones? (Not that the ones posted were that funny…well, maybe the Hitler one.) ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/44 "2005-03-05T16:32:56Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Well I can’t get _any_ link to work. Including the one on the actual Drudge report. Can someone give me a general impression of the _unfunny_ ones? (Not that the ones posted were that funny…well, maybe the Hitler one.) The link is now working for me. I found the least unfunny one to be > [@](#): > > 17.In his last days, the Pope was in tremendous pain. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/45 "2005-03-05T16:33:06Z")
This is lame. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/46 "2005-03-05T16:34:41Z")
I meant _most_ unfunny. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/47 "2005-03-05T16:39:21Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Jesus, I’m also an atheist 😃 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/48 "2005-03-05T17:03:33Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > The link is now working for me. Ah…me too. Ok. Wow, that was worse than I imagined. Creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/49 "2005-03-05T17:31:24Z")
Man, that link is seriously unfunny. Is that guy nursing a grudge or what? Our Dopers (on ropers, copping some gropers, with lycanthropers and Popers) are far more hilarious. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/50 "2005-03-05T18:33:59Z")
And the #1 thing on the list: When he gets to heaven, he is issued a pair of roller skates. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/51 "2005-03-05T19:18:39Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > I’ve heard about the “papal death hammer” and I agree it’s funny. The idea that a group of Cardinals are going to standing around the Pope’s deathbed, arguing about whether he’s dead or just sleeping, and the best idea they’ll be able to come up with is to hit him on the head with a hammer - it sounds like a Monty Python sketch. The hardest part is finding someone in Italy named Maxwell. ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/52 "2005-03-06T05:17:03Z")
> [@SiouxChief](#): > > … > > I got a bit of a chuckle out of the silver “liturgical drinking straw”, too Please tell me more about this “straw” idea as it has bearing on a business venture I’m considering. ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/53 "2005-03-06T09:21:45Z")
#0: The pope’s struggle for survival will show the power of intercessory prayer…and apparently the limits of the faithful’s attention span. #-1: Learning of the papal death hammer ritual, newspapers will run the headline “Witnesses say Pope was ‘hammered’ at time of death.” #-2: Wanting to learn from this tragedy, Catholics call for PopeMobile’s bulletproof windows to replaced with “Old-age-resistant” glass. #-3: Bush vows “We will not bow to terror; those responsible for the Pope’s brutal slaying willl be punished”; troops deployed to Iran. ---
**Author:** ![Aagramn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Aagramn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aagramn)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/54 "2005-03-06T12:50:37Z")
I’m confused now. I thought there were always two Popes, the master and the apprentice. ---
**Author:** ![merrily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@merrily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merrily)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/55 "2005-03-06T13:15:47Z")
Personally, based on the suspicious timing, I suspect that the pope was actually…Deep Throat! ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/56 "2005-03-06T13:58:31Z")
The Pope is Linda Lovelace? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/57 "2005-03-06T17:29:18Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > The hardest part is finding someone in Italy named Maxwell. Funny you should mention it; the longest-serving American Ambassador to Italy was Maxwell Rabb. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/58 "2005-03-06T19:10:48Z")
> [@Aagramn](#): > > I’m confused now. I thought there were always two Popes, the master and the apprentice. There can only be one. _cue dramatic chords_ ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/59 "2005-03-06T21:03:51Z")
Some of those were just morbid and hateful. Beyond what’s necessary to get a laugh, or point out the Pope is just a human being like you or I. However, the ‘This is what happens when old men in dresses communicate to the world with doors and chimneys’ had me laughing out loud. ---
**Author:** ![jester21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed655f/32.png) [@jester21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jester21)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893/60 "2005-03-06T21:19:34Z")
#2 funniest thing about the Pope dying: Finds out God is a woman. And man is she PISSED! (jest to appease all the feminists out there… plus it’s funny 😉 ) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-52-funniest-things-about-the-upcoming-death-of-the-pope/292893.md?page=4)