# the 7th sign of the apocalypse....in the checkout line **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 4, 2001, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718 "2001-04-04T02:07:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/1 "2001-04-04T02:07:04Z")
There’s a new magazine out, folks it’s titled mary-kateandashley I’m not making this up _whimper_ ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/2 "2001-04-04T02:19:12Z")
Damn. Little Prostitues is all they are. Anything to make a buck and keep their faces in the limelight. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/3 "2001-04-04T02:29:46Z")
We stock the abomination of which you speak. In a moment of perverse self-destructive curiousity, I read it. Now I know what hysterical blindness is like. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/4 "2001-04-04T04:17:33Z")
There’s a new book out, too. Authored by _Britney Spears_ and her mother. Now you tell me, which is worse when you really think about it? [A Mother’s Gift](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0385729537/o/qid=986357745/sr=8-1/ref=aps_sr_b_1_1/107-0040684-9835701) ---
**Author:** ![donnie\_rotten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/71e660/32.png) [@donnie\_rotten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donnie_rotten)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/5 "2001-04-04T04:35:17Z")
Ummmmmm… Uhhhhhhhhh… Is there honestly a MARKET for this crap? I mean, how many trailer parks are there? There can’t be that many, can there? Who’s actually BUYING this stuff? That’s it, I’m leaving… stop the planet here, I want off… Oh, and BTW, Britney Spears actually WROTE something? See, that I’d pay money to see… ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/6 "2001-04-04T05:26:11Z")
Prosti-tots, Saint Zero. The term is prosti-tots. Are Mary Kate and Ashley ever gonna branch out, and you know, go to the mall (GASP) BY THEMSELVES? How long can you work the freakish twin thing? ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/7 "2001-04-04T05:49:29Z")
Sounds like a Larry Flynt publication. Maybe he can hook up with them and bring child pornography into the 21st century. “If kiddie porn is outlawed, only outlaws will have kiddie porn.” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/8 "2001-04-04T06:10:09Z")
“Why?!” I hear you cry. “Why?!” [This](http://www.brunching.com/features/marykateandashley.html) is why. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/9 "2001-04-04T06:31:40Z")
From **Smeghead’s** link: > [@](#): > > “7. Because we want girls to feel beautiful inside and out.” See? _ **SEE?!?!?!?** _ I _told_ you. A Larry Flynt pictorial if ever I heard of one. Ick. I feel dirty, now. ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/10 "2001-04-04T07:43:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by donnie rotten \* > \*\*Ummmmmm… > > Uhhhhhhhhh… > > Is there honestly a MARKET for this crap? I mean, how many trailer parks are there? There can’t be that many, can there? Who’s actually BUYING this stuff?\*\* Wait just a minute there. I live in a trailer park and **I** don’t buy any of that stuff. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by donnie rotten \* > \*\*Oh, and BTW, Britney Spears actually WROTE something? See, that I’d pay money to see… \*\* While I admit there is a lot about Britney I wouldn’t mind seeing, her ability to write is not included on the list. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/11 "2001-04-04T08:55:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dijon Warlock \* > \*\*There’s a new book out, too. Authored by _Britney Spears_ and her mother. Now you tell me, which is worse when you really think about it? [A Mother’s Gift](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0385729537/o/qid=986357745/sr=8-1/ref=aps_sr_b_1_1/107-0040684-9835701) \*\* Ye _Gods_. Although one thing doesn’t really surprise me: > [@](#): > > _From [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com)_ > **Reading level** : Ages 9-12 I guess some people just have to make money at all cost. How pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/12 "2001-04-04T12:47:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dijon Warlock \* > \*\*From **Smeghead’s** link: > > > [@](#): > > > > “7. Because we want girls to feel beautiful inside and out.” > > See? _ **SEE?!?!?!?** _ I _told_ you. A Larry Flynt pictorial if ever I heard of one. Ick. I feel dirty, now. \*\* Having just seen some color photos of my wife’s recent surgery I’d like to point out that deep inside, we’re all pretty gross. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/13 "2001-04-04T22:13:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackclaw \* > \*\*\ > I’d like to point out that deep inside, we’re all pretty gross. \*\* Ya still need a sig? This seems to fit the bill 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/14 "2001-04-04T22:47:32Z")
In addition to the horror of it, am I the only one sort of thrown by the dash? To me, it looks like “Soda – carbonated drink of the Gods” or “Eggs – they’re not just for breakfast.” To me, the part after the dash should modify or explain the part before it, like “Mary – Mother of Jesus.” So when I saw “mary-kateandashley” my first thought was “What?” And my second thought was “Maybe if the first issue sells well (which God forbid), they’ll be able to purchase a shift key AND a space key.” And am I the only one who thinks that they are singularly, um, not-so-pretty? ---
**Author:** ![donnie\_rotten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/71e660/32.png) [@donnie\_rotten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donnie_rotten)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/15 "2001-04-04T23:18:23Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Jodi_ > \*\*In addition to the horror of it, am I the only one sort of thrown by the dash? \*\* I haven’t yet seen this magazine… so I figured the title as originally-postedwasatypo… But according to the link so thoughtfully provided by smeghead, they’re the friggin’ EDITORS. Perhaps the title is to be expected. For some reason, I don’t equate the Olsen twins with thorough knowledge of typesetting… but maybe that’s just me. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Lok_ > **Wait just a minute there. I live in a trailer park and I don’t buy any of that stuff.** Lok, I apologize for my hasty generalization. But I’ll rescind that apology if we find out you have ANY Elvis memorabilia in yout trailer… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/16 "2001-04-04T23:20:26Z")
Nope, you’re not, **Jodi**. I believe it was **Cranky** who first used my favorite descriptive of the Olsen twins: Simian. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/17 "2001-04-05T14:35:06Z")
The “lovely” twins are discussed (at length) in this thread: Die, Gibbon Girls [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=56735](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=56735) (I gotta learn me how to do them fancy links someday) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/18 "2001-04-05T15:39:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*There’s a new magazine out, folks > > it’s titled mary-kateandashley > > I’m not making this up > \*\* There is no God. > [@](#): > > \*\*There’s a new book out, too. Authored by Britney Spears and her mother. \*\* My mistake. There IS a God, and He is a cruel, merciless God. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/19 "2001-04-05T15:42:39Z")
If mary-kateandashley is the 7th sign of the Apocalypse, then [Rosie: The Magazine](http://www.rosiemagazine.com/) must be the 8th sign. ---
**Author:** ![Ceejaytee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ceejaytee/32/2956_2.png) [@Ceejaytee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ceejaytee)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-7th-sign-of-the-apocalypse-in-the-checkout-line/60718/20 "2001-04-05T16:14:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\*In addition to the horror of it, am I the only one sort of thrown by the dash? To me, it looks like “Soda – carbonated drink of the Gods” or “Eggs – they’re not just for breakfast.” To me, the part after the dash should modify or explain the part before it, like “Mary – Mother of Jesus.” So when I saw “mary-kateandashley” my first thought was “What?” And my second thought was “Maybe if the first issue sells well (which God forbid), they’ll be able to purchase a shift key AND a space key.” > > And am I the only one who thinks that they are singularly, um, not-so-pretty? \*\* It’s because “Mary-Kate” is hyphenated. So you could just blame their parents (I know I do). BTW, the frightening thing about the Olsen twins “singularly, um, not-so-pretty” faces are that they are actually _fraternal_ twins, not identical. So they both got to look that way completely by accident. (I read that they were fraternal many years ago, when people fretted that as they grew up, they would no longer be able to share the role of the icky baby on “Full House.” Checking on-line, the fact that they are not identical is confirmed by many sources, including this one: [http://people.aol.com/people/sp/tv40/return17.html](http://people.aol.com/people/sp/tv40/return17.html))