# The ability to read your loved ones' minds **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 11, 2016, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627 "2016-07-11T02:47:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/1 "2016-07-11T02:47:02Z")
All right - if you could, would you want to be able to read your loved ones’ minds? There are numerous people that could be called “loved ones,” so let’s narrow this down very specifically to only a few: Your parents, Your siblings, Your spouse or significant other, and Your children. This ability could be especially vital during times of potential danger - i.e., if your teenager is planning to run away from home and join a gang (and obviously won’t tell you of his/her plans,) or if your child is getting bullied at school but won’t tell you, or if your spouse is planning to divorce you (but you haven’t realized yet that your marriage is in serious trouble.) This might ruin pleasant surprises, though - if your family was planning to surprise you on your birthday with a surprise gift or party, you’d know about it in advance. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/2 "2016-07-11T03:31:55Z")
Yes, but only if I could turn it off and on. No, if it is permanent. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/3 "2016-07-11T03:42:17Z")
Only if I could turn it on and off–and only with consent. Doing it without consent is creepy as hell with an adult, I don’t care if they’re planning to divorce you. Doing it with young kids is problematic, too. But with consent, it’d save money on phone calls. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/4 "2016-07-11T04:01:21Z")
I’d also insist on it being mutual. They get to read mine, or the deal’s off. I actually wouldn’t insist on it being switchable…but it has to be “ignorable.” Like when your spouse is on the phone in the next room: you can hear it, and if you pay attention, you can make out what’s being said…but if you don’t care, you can sort of zone it out and just read your newspaper. If this were a really rare super-power, cool, I’d set up a communications service. Untappable! If everybody had it, cool also: we’d be a more sympathetic species. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/5 "2016-07-11T04:08:27Z")
Everybody knows that Rhymers cannot be trusted. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/6 "2016-07-11T04:17:10Z")
I voted “no.” They already share way too much with me. (and no way would I want \*anyone \*to read what’s going on in my mind.) Also, invasion of privacy, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/7 "2016-07-11T04:19:01Z")
I already read my mother’s… My brothers read each other’s minds to a dangerous extent. They’re banned from pairing up for Pictionary. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/8 "2016-07-11T06:38:12Z")
Oh hell no. Ignorance is bliss. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/9 "2016-07-11T08:43:31Z")
Not just no . . . Hell no! I have too much respect for people’s privacy. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/10 "2016-07-11T09:56:11Z")
No for me. I already can to a degree based on subtle cues. The results can be useful but they aren’t always good. I would not want that information available on demand any more would I want anyone to have that ability with me. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/11 "2016-07-11T13:31:41Z")
I barely want to know my own thoughts let alone anyone else’s. I would like to read their moods a little better than I do though. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/12 "2016-07-11T13:50:47Z")
Not a chance. ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/13 "2016-07-11T14:00:05Z")
Absolutely not. Some things are better left unsaid and all. And I don’t really need to hear their thoughts. I can read my peeps pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/14 "2016-07-11T14:33:11Z")
No, the one part of us that is absolutely sacrosanct is our minds. Part of loving people is giving them their appropriate space and respecting it. And if they want to share things, it’s a willing thing. Reading someone’s mind strikes me as indistinguishable from snooping through someone’s stuff, and I’m completely unwilling to do that, even if I know I can get away with it. And just like with snooping, one might find things that, taken out of context, could give the wrong impression, and I think this is particularly true of reading the mind. I have TONS of random thoughts that I don’t act on and don’t even necessarily reflect my own opinions. Hell, I often have multiple internal dialogues happening at the same time, and I have a number of other things “on the back burner” at any given time as well that might pop forward and back out of one of my more conscious thought streams without any notice. Even moreso, many of my thoughts aren’t words or images they’re far more abstract. And though as I understand that the way that I think isn’t the same way that many others do, but if it’s even remotely similar, I’m fairly certain without as many years practice as I’ve had, no one else could make sense of the chaos in my mind, so how could I possibly expect to do the same with someone else’s thoughts? It seems to me like looking at just the raw data stream from a program, where, sure, you can see it, but without knowing how to interpret it, it’s useless. In short, part of what makes us who we are, perhaps one of the largest parts, I think, is exactly WHAT thoughts we have that we choose to latch onto or act on, and which ones we choose to let go. That is, I think that conscious filter of what we express and what we leave unexpressed isn’t a mask of who we really are, but rather is an essential part of it. Besides, the people I love most are typically pretty honest with me, and me to them. ---
**Author:** ![Me\_Billy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Me\_Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Billy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/15 "2016-07-11T15:41:20Z")
Yes I can sometimes read another person’s mind… BUT I wouldn’t call it “reading their mind”! This is with a person I am very close to. And it is simply that I know the person so well, I know what they are thinking. Along the lines of empathy - something many selfish young people are lacking these days. Also has to do with talking with a person verbally - I don’t think you could get this close to someone else by “texting”! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/16 "2016-07-11T15:52:08Z")
I am of the firm opinion that the ability to read minds would destroy civilization as we know it. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/17 "2016-07-11T15:59:56Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I am of the firm opinion that the ability to read minds would destroy civilization as we know it. Yep. I mean crazy stuff pops in and out of peoples minds all the time. Unless I’m the only one… ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/18 "2016-07-11T16:06:13Z")
Nope. Don’t even want to know what’s in my own mind a lot of the time. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/19 "2016-07-11T16:19:55Z")
I’d like to put myself down as “Maybe” or “It depends on the details” but I’m willing to go with yes on this one. Some people have mentioned the ability to turn it off and on, and I’m assuming we’d have that to some degree. After all, we have a pretty decent ability to tune out regular verbal communication if we want to. As for privacy, I think this is a cultural thing more than anything else. Privacy issues might bother people if I’m the only one who could read minds, but it isn’t clear from the OP whether this would be a widespread capability or not. Anyway, I think of privacy a lot like how we handle physical privacy in relationships. Many couples end up at a point where leaving the bathroom door open is no big deal, but you wouldn’t do that on a first date. I think that what seems so shocking now would normalize very quickly. Both of these points are partly affected by range of the ability. Does it work at a distance? Through closed doors? If they have their eyes closed? No idea from the OP. I don’t think I’d want the ability if sitting in a movie theater meant being bombarded by thoughts from every person around me, but if the ability needed eye contact, that would be nice. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627/20 "2016-07-11T19:25:02Z")
After some deliberation, I went with yes. When I thought about it, I realized that to some extent, we already can read other people’s minds, particularly loved ones. Once you know a person pretty well, then the combination of his or her body language, tone of voice, and word choice can reveal an awful lot about what they’re thinking (beyond what they’re actually saying). But I still often struggle with figuring out why. I think sometimes I take things more personally than I would if I could read minds; for example, I might be better able to acknowledge that one person’s distance or anger or distraction has nothing to do with something I did. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ability-to-read-your-loved-ones-minds/759627.md?page=2)