# The accumulated advice thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725 "2005-04-11T01:18:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/201 "2005-04-18T10:49:16Z")
> [@Re: PT](#): > > Royalties on the Lightsabre kid mpgs on the web. > > Who would be the worst Pope? Britney Phelps. Why are carrots orange? ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/202 "2005-04-18T13:53:17Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Britney Phelps. > > Why are carrots orange? Because if they were blue, they’d be blueberries. Does this look infected to you? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/203 "2005-04-18T14:44:45Z")
> [@5que](#): > > Does this look infected to you? No. Absolutely not. Now step away from me. Have I just contracted something? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/204 "2005-04-18T14:58:43Z")
I see no evidence of apostrophism. _Multaj homoj ne komprenas liberecon._ What does this mean? ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/205 "2005-04-18T15:02:31Z")
A lot of people understand overpaying. What should I wear today? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/206 "2005-04-18T15:07:33Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > A lot of people understand overpaying. > What should I wear today? Wear the blue. It doesn’t make your butt look big. Should I have the beef or the chicken? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/207 "2005-04-18T15:19:30Z")
Yes! –the pigs They say that my dog needs fixing, but I don’t remember how or even whether he got broken. What should I do? ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/208 "2005-04-18T16:40:31Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > They say that my dog needs fixing, but I don’t remember how or even whether he got broken. What should I do? Your dog isn’t housebroken? Use a monkeywrench, and wear protective clothing. What’s in that carton in the back of the fridge, and is it still okay to eat it? ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/209 "2005-04-18T17:10:15Z")
You’re on your own as to what it is, but if it hasn’t developed a language, you should be fine to eat it. This blue shirt makes my shoulders look big. How hard should I hit **swampbear**? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/210 "2005-04-18T17:55:26Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > This blue shirt makes my shoulders look big. How hard should I hit **swampbear**? Think “bruise,” not “welt.” What’s that hideous buzzing noise? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/211 "2005-04-18T18:11:37Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > Think “bruise,” not “welt.” > > What’s that hideous buzzing noise? The ballast for the fluorescent tubes in your subcutaneous backlight. Be careful when you sit down. I’m falling asleep here. What can I do to stay awake? ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/212 "2005-04-18T18:22:09Z")
Stand on a small ledge over a pit filled with poisonous snakes. Motivation is key. Why am I surrounded by fools? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/213 "2005-04-18T18:27:17Z")
> [@Cub Mistress](#): > > Why am I surrounded by fools? You paid extra for it, remember? Why do fools fall in love? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/214 "2005-04-18T18:30:50Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > You paid extra for it, remember? > > Why do fools fall in love? Inertia and/or gravity. The fun part is watching them fall and miss each other. Why is the sky blue? ---
**Author:** ![TygerDralion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@TygerDralion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TygerDralion)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/215 "2005-04-18T18:35:38Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Why is the sky blue? Because inquiring girl scouts want to know. Who in my area will mow my grass for free? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/216 "2005-04-18T19:32:17Z")
> [@TygerDralion](#): > > Who in my area will mow my grass for free? I’m sure there’s a derelict or two down on skid row who’ll mow for a twelve pack. Don’t forget to leave your house unlocked in case he needs to go to the bathroom. What’s the best way to get there from here? ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/217 "2005-04-18T19:55:34Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > What’s the best way to get there from here? Yer in Jawja, right? First, go down the road aways until ya get to the cow in the field. If’n there’s two cows, ya went and gone too far, and ya gotta turn around and go back to the oak tree. Turn left at the tree (or right at the cow if’n you didn’t hafta turn around), and go three-four miles. It’ll be there on your left. UNless they went’n moved the durn fool thing. Good thing you aren’t in Maine - you can’t get there from here. What is the trauma in **Priceguy’s** life that makes him hate coffee so? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/218 "2005-04-18T19:58:11Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#): > > What is the trauma in **Priceguy’s** life that makes him hate coffee so? He took decaf coffee on his boat, and it sanka. Why did I say that? ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/219 "2005-04-18T19:59:17Z")
Someone secretly switched him to Folger’s crystals–when what he needed was Preparation H. Why did I buy that pizza? ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/220 "2005-04-18T20:32:25Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > Why did I buy that pizza? Because it was too big to stick down your pants to shoplift. I woke up on the ground in a f’ing graveyard pondering: dusk or dawn? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725.md?page=12)