# The accumulated advice thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725 "2005-04-11T01:18:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/221 "2005-04-18T20:51:39Z")
Whoever has the bigger breasts. How now, brown cow? ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/222 "2005-04-18T23:10:26Z")
> [@Dead Cat](#): > > How now, brown cow? This way, oh Queen of the Breasts of Unequal Size. Why does **Sean Factotum** assume there is a trauma in my life simply because I do not enjoy a horrid, stinking, unhealthy black sludge, some variations of which is made from feline excrement? ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/223 "2005-04-18T23:59:13Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > This way, oh Queen of the Breasts of Unequal Size. > > Why does **Sean Factotum** assume there is a trauma in my life simply because I do not enjoy a horrid, stinking, unhealthy black sludge, some variations of which is made from feline excrement? He’s not going to answer you while he is thinking about the $10,000.00 photos. Ironically enough, I’d do it for the price of a cup of sweet, sweet coffee 😉 . How can I stop my roomate’s cat from running away every time I open the door? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/224 "2005-04-19T00:14:59Z")
Kill it. A dead cat doesn’t run. How can I become Sam fisher? ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/225 "2005-04-19T00:30:43Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Kill it. A dead cat doesn’t run. > > How can I become Sam fisher? Slow trolling with little Sam worms. Whatever will I do now? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/226 "2005-04-19T00:38:52Z")
> [@Nicodemus2004](#): > > Whatever will I do now? You will find the road to peace and blueberies that lies within us all. What am I smoking? ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/227 "2005-04-19T00:50:04Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > You will find the road to peace and blueberies that lies within us all. > > What am I smoking? HEY! Were’d ya get that? Gimme that back. Jeeez… is there any more of this? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/228 "2005-04-19T01:39:54Z")
> [@Nicodemus2004](#): > > Jeeez… is there any more of this? Check that jar over there. Will anyone help me with my smuggling? ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/229 "2005-04-19T06:34:05Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > Will anyone help me with my smuggling? A smuggler-for-hire, or a corrupt customs official, probably. Call your local mafia king or Hells Angels Chapter. Where can I find a demon to dance with? ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/230 "2005-04-19T06:45:18Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > Where can I find a demon to dance with? Natchitoches, Louisiana. Why does my foot itch? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/231 "2005-04-19T06:53:39Z")
It’s been seven years since the last time you took a good long walk. Can I get back to sleep now? ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/232 "2005-04-19T06:55:07Z")
Because you’re a dancing queen, baby. Why do good things happen to bad people? ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/233 "2005-04-19T07:07:29Z")
Simulpost, or close enough… Ne Mal viestas farita ?i tiu paf. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/234 "2005-04-19T07:37:57Z")
> [@picker](#): > > Because you’re a dancing queen, baby. > Why do good things happen to bad people? Because it shall be as it was once written in the past, and it has already been in the future, and now it is currently unfolding. Are gettin’ all of this? ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/235 "2005-04-19T07:41:50Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Are gettin’ all of this? Not a word of it. Where’s the love, dawg? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/236 "2005-04-19T14:47:08Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > Where’s the love, dawg? Gone, and, in spite of our efforts to find it, still lost. Who wants to buy a bridge from me? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/237 "2005-04-19T14:56:18Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > Gone, and, in spite of our efforts to find it, still lost. > > Who wants to buy a bridge from me? Not me. I’ve already got one. Try Boris down the hall. Is it true that the Ancient Egyptians had a cure for stinky feet, but that the cure has now been lost? ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/238 "2005-04-19T15:21:30Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Is it true that the Ancient Egyptians had a cure for stinky feet, but that the cure has now been lost? It’s been found. Watch for the infomercial, coming soon. Only $49.99 plus S&H What should I sell on Ebay? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/239 "2005-04-19T16:09:06Z")
> [@Cub Mistress](#): > > It’s been found. Watch for the infomercial, coming soon. Only $49.99 plus S&H > > What should I sell on Ebay? Oh, I think you know. Is that all there is, can I go now? ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/240 "2005-04-19T16:55:43Z")
Only if you have brushed your teeth in the last 3½ hours, and are wearing one purple and one green sock (no stripes). Is this the way to Amarillo? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725.md?page=13)