# The accumulated advice thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725 "2005-04-11T01:18:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/281 "2005-04-22T10:41:48Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > Over there, behind the slightly yellow-tinted anachr… oh, the buffalo _dogs_. Sorry, don’t know. > > What’s the difference between “tune in”, “turn on” and “burn out”? Nothing, they all taste the same 😉 ---
**Author:** ![hotjinkies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8797f3/32.png) [@hotjinkies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotjinkies)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/282 "2005-04-22T16:37:48Z")
Especially with A-1 Bold. A train leaves Chicago at 5:45 and travels at 200mph. A train leaves LA at 7:30 and travels at 175mph. When and where will the switch agent fall asleep and the trains crash? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/283 "2005-04-22T16:49:27Z")
> [@hotjinkies](#): > > A train leaves Chicago at 5:45 and travels at 200mph. A train leaves LA at 7:30 and travels at 175mph. When and where will the switch agent fall asleep and the trains crash? Sadly, the train leaving LA was heading due west, and hit the ocean at around 7:45. The question is, therefore, moot. What’s in the box? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/284 "2005-04-22T16:57:22Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > What’s in the box? A severed finger, covered in chili. How will I recognize Opportunity’s knock? ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/285 "2005-04-22T16:57:52Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > Sadly, the train leaving LA was heading due west, and hit the ocean at around 7:45. The question is, therefore, moot. > > What’s in the box? David Beckham’s right foot. Who’s your daddy? ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/286 "2005-04-22T17:24:25Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > A severed finger, covered in chili. > > How will I recognize Opportunity’s knock? It’s the one you’ll hear while you are in the bathtub. > [@Stark Raven Mad](#): > > David Beckham’s right foot. > > Who’s your daddy? You are. How do I get rid of the song that keeps playing in my head? ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/287 "2005-04-22T17:26:36Z")
“I want a hippopotamus for Christmassssss. Only a hippopotamus will doooooo.” Where has the morning gone? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/288 "2005-04-22T18:04:24Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > Where has the morning gone? Out the window, along with the baby AND the bathwater. How do I stop myself from killing **cher3** for putting that frigging Hippopotamus song in _my_ head? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/289 "2005-04-22T18:40:54Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > Out the window, along with the baby AND the bathwater. > > How do I stop myself from killing **cher3** for putting that frigging Hippopotamus song in _my_ head? You can’t. Exectly how relieved should I be that I don’t know **cher3** ’s hippopotamus song? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/290 "2005-04-22T19:50:03Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Exectly how relieved should I be that I don’t know **cher3** ’s hippopotamus song? So relieved, you want to click on [this link](http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/hippo.htm). Immediately. Why did I do that? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/291 "2005-04-22T19:50:33Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Exectly how relieved should I be that I don’t know **cher3** ’s hippopotamus song? The words to describe it do not exist. Can you tell me how to get rid of junk without going to the landfill? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/292 "2005-04-22T19:58:54Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > The words to describe it do not exist. > > Can you tell me how to get rid of junk without going to the landfill? When moving house, move yourself, but not it. The new tenants will appreciate it. What was the _real_ meaning of RFC 1? ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/293 "2005-04-22T22:29:44Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > What was the _real_ meaning of RFC 1? It was host software. It was provided to keep you from using the guest towels. But that didn’t stop _you_. What are you going to do with all those soiled guest towels? ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/294 "2005-04-22T22:34:41Z")
> [@Plynck](#): > > It was host software. It was provided to keep you from using the guest towels. But that didn’t stop _you_. > > What are you going to do with all those soiled guest towels? Stuff 'em behind the bathroom books. Why does it hurt when I do this? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/295 "2005-04-23T02:08:39Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Stuff 'em behind the bathroom books. > > Why does it hurt when I do this? Beacuse the human body was never intended to twist into that dimension or wear those colours together. Why is Beth such a beautiful name? ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/296 "2005-04-23T03:09:32Z")
Because it belongs to me. Why do my porkchops never turn out right? ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/297 "2005-04-23T06:11:59Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > Why do my porkchops never turn out right? 'Cause you’re doing them wrong, Einstein. Stick to sausages. Why was Brainiac green? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/298 "2005-04-23T07:21:30Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > 'Cause you’re doing them wrong, Einstein. Stick to sausages. > > Why was Brainiac green? He’s not, you are just too tripped out on acid to know what color he is. How many whisky shots did I take? ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/299 "2005-04-23T14:16:08Z")
One less than you should have. Now where did I put my pants? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/300 "2005-04-23T15:54:42Z")
> [@picker](#): > > Now where did I put my pants? On top of the dryer. Can you change a $10? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725.md?page=16)