# The accumulated advice thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725 "2005-04-11T01:18:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![hotjinkies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8797f3/32.png) [@hotjinkies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotjinkies)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/61 "2005-04-13T15:53:50Z")
Shove cottonballs up your nose so that the histamines can’t get in and affect your allergies. Sure, you look silly but you’re on the ball! ;j I’m having trouble in Trig class. Anyone know the definitions of Sin, Cos, and Tan? ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/62 "2005-04-13T15:57:29Z")
Sin: The product of shouldn’t X wanna. Cos: 1) The reason wherefore (Cos I said so!) 2) A family member or close friend. (Whassup, Cos?) Tan: The process of defeating expensive anti-wrinkle creams with free UV rays. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/63 "2005-04-13T16:08:09Z")
\ **TellMeI’mNotCrazy** I can’t possibly recomend you trying to do such an act with the Popes dead body, please see a psychiatrist or a priest. Q: How can I solve world hunger and irradicate all infectious diseases? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/64 "2005-04-13T16:09:49Z")
Fried germs for everyone! How can I stop farting? _blaat_ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/65 "2005-04-13T16:25:57Z")
Q. How can I stop farting? _blaat_ A. Have a titanium O-ring surgically implanted in your anal sphincter. Remain standing at all times. How can I remove spyware from my hard drive when it comes back every couple of days, even after I run “Hijack This”? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/66 "2005-04-13T16:37:24Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Allegra, unless you buy a really big bottle. > How can I motivate myself to go to the gym more often? I think it was mentione earlier but it’s worth repeating… Take a picture of your bare fat ass and stick it to your bathroom mirror, coffee machine, fridge door and car dashboard. How do I work on a better “I care” face for problems encountered at the office? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/67 "2005-04-13T16:53:07Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > How can I remove spyware from my hard drive when it comes back every couple of days, even after I run “Hijack This”? Stop downloading the spyware. > [@QuickSilver](#): > > How do I work on a better “I care” face for problems encountered at the office? Care. Question: How can I help get a libertarian elected president? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/68 "2005-04-13T16:56:42Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > How do I work on a better “I care” face for problems encountered at the office? Connect TENS unit electrodes to your genital, and switch on the current whenever someone comes to you with a problem. You will soon teach yourself to associate office problems with sexual gratification and will have no problems with an “I care” or even “I just came” face. **kaylasdad99** buy a new hard drive every couple of days, they are quite cheap. Oh and attatch a TENS unit’s electrodes to your genitals just for the fun of it. Q. How can I make the batteries in my TENS unit last longer? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/69 "2005-04-13T16:58:05Z")
A: Adopt the campaign slogan _“Pot in Every Pot”_ Q: How do I purge my awful memories of the Badnarik / Campagna 2004 campaign? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/70 "2005-04-13T16:58:46Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Question: How can I help get a libertarian elected president? Connect a TENS unit to his/her genitals, and apply a current whenever he/she gives a political speach. The emmence grin and good humour of his/her speaches will ensure rapid election (erection?). Q. How do I cure electric burns caused by my TENS unit? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/71 "2005-04-13T17:26:16Z")
Q. How do I cure electric burns caused by my TENS unit? Use it on someone else. How can I prevent myself from going insane when my cow-orker has the either the “Light Rock” or the “Top 40” radio station on all day? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/72 "2005-04-13T18:26:26Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > How can I prevent myself from going insane when my cow-orker has the either the “Light Rock” or the “Top 40” radio station on all day? Sing along. Loudly. Off key. My boss just told me he quit. How do I get his job… but more importantly, his office! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/73 "2005-04-13T19:25:44Z")
Take advantage of the fact that possession is nine-tenths of the law. Seize his office and job, beofre someone else can. How do I power something that requires AA batteries with AAA batteries? ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/74 "2005-04-13T19:34:32Z")
Use the algebraic law where 3 x AA = 2 x AAA. How can I get **SusanStoHelit** to send me a copy of the picture she puts on her alarm clock? ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/75 "2005-04-13T21:07:48Z")
Offer her $10,000,000.00 for the picture. What’s the best way to spread gossip? ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/76 "2005-04-13T21:49:49Z")
Tell three not-very-good friends “I didn’t tell you this, but…” How do I learn to type? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/77 "2005-04-13T22:19:38Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > How do I learn to type? A: For gorillas who’ve grown tired of smashing Samsonite luggage, [here are a few pointers](http://www.nimblefingers.com/a_toes.htm). [This is what it looks like](http://www.dpchallenge.com/image.php?IMAGE_ID=1572) in human form. Q: Should I have the rice, baked potato or french fires with that? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/78 "2005-04-13T22:19:53Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > How do I learn to type? Play 1980’s text adventure games. You will also learn what a Gazebo and a Gru are. What should I get my 15 year old nephew for his birthday? ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/79 "2005-04-14T00:14:06Z")
The Zork Trilogy. Tell him it’s cutting edge. How do I kill a lurking grue? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/80 "2005-04-14T00:14:43Z")
Q. What should I get my 15 year old nephew for his birthday? A. Have a titanium ring surgically implanted in hi~-- sorry, belay that. A nice Gameboy. How can I persuade Michaela that eggs are good food? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725.md?page=5)