# The accumulated advice thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725 "2005-04-11T01:18:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/101 "2005-04-14T16:44:27Z")
They’re working from bad information. When he was working out the Date of creation, Bishop Ushher forgot to carry the two. How can I get these scratches off my glasses? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/102 "2005-04-14T16:59:17Z")
> [@hotjinkies](#): > > Spam. And spam and eggs. And spam with a side of spam. > Why do midwesterners believe the universe was created in 6000 years when, hello!!!, it’s was obviously 7500???!!! Probably because they’re using the date that the registration card was submitted instead of checking the original receipt (another good reason not to procrastinate with those). I bit my fingers off. How should I spend the money I’m now saving by not needing to buy manicures? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/103 "2005-04-14T16:59:58Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > How can I get these scratches off my glasses? Brillo dipped in _light_ mayonaisse. Works kinda like that “Skip Doctor” thingee. How can I conquer the heartbreak of psoriasis? ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/104 "2005-04-14T17:20:27Z")
A belt sander and a five dollar hooker. How can I make more money doing even less work? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/105 "2005-04-14T17:27:17Z")
> [@picker](#): > > A > How can I make more money doing even less work? Sell naked pictures of yourself to **Sean Factotum** What is the best way to avoid bordom on long distance flights? ---
**Author:** ![Re\_PT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Re\_PT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Re_PT)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/106 "2005-04-14T17:34:36Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > What is the best way to avoid bordom on long distance flights? Go economy. Bordom hates anything less than business class. What’s the best way to serve a trifle? PT ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/107 "2005-04-14T17:36:10Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > Sell naked pictures of yourself to **Sean Factotum** > > What is the best way to avoid bordom on long distance flights? Join the mile high club! Red Baron, or Blue Max? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/108 "2005-04-14T17:57:17Z")
> [@Re: PT](#): > > What’s the best way to serve a trifle? > PT Give everybody a spoon and say “dig in!” Quote=Regallag\_The\_Axe] Red Baron, or Blue Max? [/quote] Depends on what you’re serving for dinner. Do I have to be nice to _everybody_ on the phone at work? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/109 "2005-04-14T18:06:18Z")
No. Once you have used up your allocation of niceness, you are required to choose one of the alternatives, as per Regulation 97-54321 (I, ii (b)) (ISO-9000 registered). How can I stay awake at work? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/110 "2005-04-14T18:13:22Z")
Stop drinking on the job. 😃 How do I get more fiber into my diet, without actually eating … :dubious: fiber? ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/111 "2005-04-14T18:16:37Z")
Oat bran suppositories. Where did this bruise come from? ---
**Author:** ![flapcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@flapcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flapcats)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/112 "2005-04-14T18:46:02Z")
Something or someone broke the small blood vessels near the skin’s surface, allowing some blood to leak out under the skin. The trapped blood appeared as a black and blue mark. The blood leaked into the tissues surrounding the area underneath the skin caused that purplish color. Why am I still at work at 7:48pm when I should finish at 6:30? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/113 "2005-04-14T18:52:45Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > Where did this bruise come from? I deny all allegations that I was even anywhere near you when you “fell” down those stairs. Is this peanut I just found any good? ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/114 "2005-04-14T18:57:40Z")
Eat it and find out. Can’t be any worse than a banana/mayo sandwich. Can I go home now? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/115 "2005-04-14T19:07:48Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > Eat it and find out. Can’t be any worse than a banana/mayo sandwich. > > Can I go home now? No you may not. You need more shock treatments. 😛 What’s the red stuff all over this knife I just found in the mens room? ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/116 "2005-04-14T19:14:48Z")
It’s ketchup. I swear. Really. And no, I don’t know where John from Accounting got off to. Why are you looking at me like that? :: shuffles away nervously :: Why does everybody keep staring at me? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/117 "2005-04-14T19:19:04Z")
> [@picker](#): > > It’s ketchup. I swear. Really. And no, I don’t know where John from Accounting got off to. Why are you looking at me like that? :: shuffles away nervously :: > Why does everybody keep staring at me? It’s the large puple hat that you’re wearing. What grade will I get on my calculus exam? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/118 "2005-04-14T19:32:14Z")
A “Q+”. How can I become physically youthful again? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/119 "2005-04-14T19:34:57Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > A “Q+”. > > How can I become physically youthful again? Apply Bondo [sup]TM[/sup] generously before going to bed each night. When will I be loved? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725/120 "2005-04-14T19:45:02Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > When will I be loved? When you stop re-eating the peanuts in your shite! Sorry… sorry… How can I stop snoring? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-accumulated-advice-thread/298725.md?page=7)