# The Adoption Loophole. Good Friends, Unite! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 19, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adoption-loophole-good-friends-unite/554236 "2010-09-19T00:27:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![adhay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@adhay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhay)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adoption-loophole-good-friends-unite/554236/1 "2010-09-19T00:27:37Z")
Anyone can legally adopt a locally legally competent and consensual anyone else. Just sayin’, gays. Thru the adoption process, two or more good friends who fully share expenses and are willing to share a bank account can be joined as Parent and Child. You have my money and my life **and** all my govt benefits. I do. I’m thinking of adopting my new mom. She’s 83 (I’m 69), sweet natured and has some under the radar financial weight. By under the radar I mean, that after owning a liquor store in town for 11 years, how does she qualify to move into our HUD apt on less than I get in SS and manage a car and a $100/mon gambling habit on the side. She’s a pretty good cook, too. The _sine qua non_ for the adoption would be a joint bank account. Forget estate taxes and probate. Trust you with my money? Why not my legal life/identity? It sounds like a plan to me. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adoption-loophole-good-friends-unite/554236/2 "2010-09-19T00:57:25Z")
My brother in law used to work for the phone company. He said it was an interesting job, if you liked telephones. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adoption-loophole-good-friends-unite/554236/3 "2010-09-19T01:31:40Z")
Well, in Virginia, my state, the applicable part of the code says: > [@](#): > > A petition may be filed in circuit court by any natural person who is a resident of this Commonwealth (i) for the adoption of a stepchild eighteen years of age or over to whom he has stood in loco parentis for a period of at least three months; (ii) for the adoption of a close relative, as defined in § 63.2-1242.1, eighteen years of age or older; (iii) for the adoption of any person eighteen years of age or older who is the birth child of the petitioner or who had resided in the home of the petitioner for a period of at least three months prior to becoming eighteen years of age; or (iv) for the adoption of any person eighteen years of age or older, for good cause shown, provided that the person to be adopted is at least fifteen years younger than the petitioner and the petitioner and the person to be adopted have known each other for at least one year prior to the filing of the petition for adoption. So, beyond the other problems, given that I’m almost 35, I better hope that I’m dating either at most a 20 year old or at least a 50 year old. Then, assuming that I and my young stud/sugar daddy decide to go that route, we should be prepared for the circuit court’s investigation, which is required: "However, if a petition is filed for the adoption of any person eighteen years of age or older under clause (iv) of § 63.2-1243, the circuit court shall require an investigation and report to be made. " And not to go into too much detail, but once the adoption is finalized, we’d have to be careful we don’t fall into violation of this potential felony: > [@](#): > > A. Any person who commits adultery or fornication with any person whom he or she is forbidden by law to marry shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor except as provided by subsection B. > > B. Any person who commits adultery or fornication with his daughter or granddaughter, or with her son or grandson, or her father or his mother, shall be guilty of a Class 5 felony. However, if a parent or grandparent commits adultery or fornication with his or her child or grandchild, and such child or grandchild is at least thirteen years of age but less than eighteen years of age at the time of the offense, such parent or grandparent shall be guilty of a Class 3 felony. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adoption-loophole-good-friends-unite/554236/4 "2010-09-19T03:35:11Z")
I don’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adoption-loophole-good-friends-unite/554236/5 "2010-09-19T03:56:56Z")
He’s suggesting that gay couples can get around the ban on gay marriage by adopting each other. I looked at the Virginia code and pointed out some problems with that, at least in Virginia. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adoption-loophole-good-friends-unite/554236/6 "2010-09-19T04:12:45Z")
That’s silly! Gays can’t adopt! ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adoption-loophole-good-friends-unite/554236/7 "2010-09-19T04:22:28Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > He’s suggesting that gay couples can get around the ban on gay marriage by adopting each other. I looked at the Virginia code and pointed out some problems with that, at least in Virginia. Thank you - I couldn’t make heads or tails out of that. ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adoption-loophole-good-friends-unite/554236/8 "2010-09-19T05:37:23Z")
> [@adhay](#): > > Anyone can legally adopt a locally legally competent and consensual anyone else. No, they can’t. Each state has various restrictions on adult adoption. > [@](#): > > Just sayin’, gays. Before you start handing out erroneous legal advice, maybe you should do at least some basic research. Just sayin’. > [@](#): > > Thru the adoption process, two or more good friends who fully share expenses and are willing to share a bank account can be joined as Parent and Child. You have my money and my life **and** all my govt benefits. I do. Really? Adult children qualify for all of their parents’ government benefits? Aside for a few very specific exceptions (such as with adult children under the age of 26), this is generally not true. > [@](#): > > I’m thinking of adopting my new mom. She’s 83 (I’m 69), sweet natured and has some under the radar financial weight. By under the radar I mean, that after owning a liquor store in town for 11 years, how does she qualify to move into our HUD apt on less than I get in SS and manage a car and a $100/mon gambling habit on the side. She’s a pretty good cook, too. Can you please show me which jurisdiction allows you to adopt a natural parent? > [@](#): > > The _sine qua non_ for the adoption would be a joint bank account. Forget estate taxes and probate. Really? Adopted children don’t have to worry about probate or estate taxes? Where is this magical land you live in? > [@](#): > > It sounds like a plan to me. YMMV. Sounds like you have a good plan to get in trouble with the IRS and a number of other government agencies. But other than that, it’s really well thought out.:rolleyes: