# The adventures of Quantum Man **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 2, 2013, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431 "2013-07-02T08:44:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/1 "2013-07-02T08:44:11Z")
For reasons unknown, whenever Quantum Man\* is trying to stop crime, or spread righteousness or whatever, probabilistic quantum events always fall in his favour. This sounds like quite a pointless superpower, until you realize it means he could teleport through any physical barrier by the unlikely chance of all the particles of his body simultaneously quantum tunneling. Bullets would also tunnel through him, and radioactive sources won’t emit anything while he’s around. What else? Is my understanding of QM way off here? - I don’t want this thread to be sexist, so substitute Woman for Man, her for his, and hot pants for pants, as appropriate 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/2 "2013-07-02T13:07:28Z")
He could have a problem teleporting through an impenetrable barrier if some random selection of his particles tunneled through and the rest didn’t. (There was an old TV episode of Superman, George Reeves vintage, that kinda-sorta played on this theme. Superman attempts to teleport himself through a thick barrier, but only gets half way through. Fortunately for him, he is able to back out.) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/3 "2013-07-02T13:23:48Z")
Okay, he’s rich because he’ll win the lottery every time he buys a ticket. If he’s in real danger other superheroes will just happen to be passing by, and help him out (it’s not that uncommon in the comics for heroes without that power). Machines used against him will malfunction, and possibly harm his enemy. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/4 "2013-07-02T13:25:24Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > He could have a problem teleporting through an impenetrable barrier if some random selection of his particles tunneled through and the rest didn’t. > > (There was an old TV episode of Superman, George Reeves vintage, that kinda-sorta played on this theme. Superman attempts to teleport himself through a thick barrier, but only gets half way through. Fortunately for him, he is able to back out.) Well, part of Quantum Man’s power is that quantum events ALWAYS fall in his favor, so _ipso facto_ he won’t have the problem you mention. I suppose since he can have radiation stop when he’s around, he could also have the opposite, and have an appropriate number of protons decay in the brains of his enemies, allowing him to blow up bad guy heads, although this would move him from a G-rated hero to an R-rated anti-hero, I think. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/5 "2013-07-02T13:27:37Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Okay, he’s rich because he’ll win the lottery every time he buys a ticket. If he’s in real danger other superheroes will just happen to be passing by, and help him out (it’s not that uncommon in the comics for heroes without that power). Machines used against him will malfunction, and possibly harm his enemy. I dunno if these are really quantum events. Probablistic yes, subatomic no. EDIT: I mean to say, does Quantum man’s power extend to all probablistic events or only those happening at the subatomic level? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/6 "2013-07-02T13:43:26Z")
He’ll _always_ get that perfect parking space. It’ll be like growing up gorgeous, only more so. His experience will be so anomalous that, if he doesn’t realize others have it different, he could have problems existing in the world. At the least, he might come off as an entitled douchebag. On the other hand, if the powers manifest at puberty, he’ll have memories of living normally, which would help him relate. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/7 "2013-07-02T13:45:35Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > EDIT: I mean to say, does Quantum man’s power extend to all probablistic events or only those happening at the subatomic level? Well, I just meant the latter originally, but I’m not even sure whether what I’m thinking of makes sense. Knowing where a roulette ball will land; I’d consider that a “cascade” of events, and so not allowed, whereas the tunneling himself I saw that as pretty much one event repeated x times. Probably it doesn’t make sense what I’m saying. The reason I was having this thought btw was because it occured to me that it is one way to have superpowers without (I think) breaking any laws of physics. Sure, there’d probably be a way to use his powers to get apparently free energy or whatever, but as long as it’s just dumb luck, and as far as we know his luck could run out at any time, it should be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/8 "2013-07-02T14:16:59Z")
I hate Quantum Man. If I know where he is, I don’t know when he’ll show up and vice-versa. If I observe him fighting crime, it changes the outcome of his actions. I asked the cops if he was helpful or not and they said, “Both. we won’t know which until we look.” And he brings that damn cat everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/9 "2013-07-02T18:10:13Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > Well, I just meant the latter originally, but I’m not even sure whether what I’m thinking of makes sense. > > Knowing where a roulette ball will land; I’d consider that a “cascade” of events, and so not allowed, whereas the tunneling himself I saw that as pretty much one event repeated x times. Probably it doesn’t make sense what I’m saying. Well, I’m sure it will make a real physicists grumble a lot, but I more or less get what you’re saying. What we think of as ‘probablity’ is not just a series of random events like quantum mechanics predicts. If we knew the position of the roulette wheel and ball, and their respective velocities, we could calculate out the end location of the ball fairly easily - it’s just that we don’t have that information. Likewise, getting the perfect poker hand is not a quantum event, just probablistically unlikely given a particular shuffle. > [@Mijin](#): > > The reason I was having this thought btw was because it occured to me that it is one way to have superpowers without (I think) breaking any laws of physics. Sure, there’d probably be a way to use his powers to get apparently free energy or whatever, but as long as it’s just dumb luck, and as far as we know his luck could run out at any time, it should be fine. Sure, if QM could manifest zero-point energy at will, we could shut down every power plant in the world and just hook him up to the grid (modulo some transmission issues). ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/10 "2013-07-02T18:15:53Z")
Does Quantum Man have a cat? Well, yes and no. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/11 "2013-07-02T19:05:32Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > Sure, if QM could manifest zero-point energy at will, we could shut down every power plant in the world and just hook him up to the grid (modulo some transmission issues). And we’re back to [this comic](http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20110713.gif). ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/12 "2013-07-02T21:00:15Z")
Cabbie: We’re heading south on 47th street at exactly 25 miles per hour. Quantum Man: Great… now we’re lost. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/13 "2013-07-03T18:45:24Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Okay, he’s rich because he’ll win the lottery every time he buys a ticket. If he’s in real danger other superheroes will just happen to be passing by, and help him out (it’s not that uncommon in the comics for heroes without that power). Machines used against him will malfunction, and possibly harm his enemy. Let’s make this “Quantum Woman”, and name her [Teela Brown](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teela_Brown). BTW, this character would get very little mileage. As [Larry Niven puts it:](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teela_Brown#cite_note-1): > [@](#): > > Stories about infinitely lucky people tend to be dull. – Introduction to “Safe at Any Speed” as published in _Tales of Known Space_ (Del Rey Books 1975) ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/14 "2013-07-03T19:06:41Z")
Let me point out that Quantum Man is a contradiction: he would never actually be in danger. He literally cannot fail at anything, ever. He doesn’t even need teleportation or invulnerability because the villains’ plots will spontaneously resolve themselves simply by Quantum man existing. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/15 "2013-07-04T03:13:31Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > Let me point out that Quantum Man is a contradiction: he would never actually be in danger. He literally cannot fail at anything, ever. He doesn’t even need teleportation or invulnerability because the villains’ plots will spontaneously resolve themselves simply by Quantum man existing. Again, the Quantum Man I’m imagining doesn’t have infinite luck, he just has TV-series friendly abilities like quantum tunneling. So yeah the OP was badly-worded, but IANAPhysicist. In terms of collapse of the wavefunction, he can have the same effect happen to n particles, but he doesn’t get an arbitrary future where every particle goes exactly where it needs to go to suit him. And, e.g., while bullets will tunnel through our hero, a knife through the heart will finish him (as long as the perp keeps a hold of the knife – a thrown knife will tunnel). ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/16 "2013-07-04T03:34:57Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > Let’s make this “Quantum Woman”, and name her [Teela Brown](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teela_Brown). Do read the wiki on her, especially for the explanation of why she’s so lucky\* (that Niven guy’s pretty good at that “thinkin’ up stuff” stuff). \*ok, if you don’t want to read a whole page of text:Her sole qualification was that she was descended from “lucky” ancestors, six generations of whom were born as a result of winning Earth’s Birthright Lottery. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/17 "2013-07-04T05:27:55Z")
probabilistic quantum events always fall in his favour. But who decides what is in his favour? Does he? Or something else? What if going through a wall would lead to his death or capture? Would he hit his head? What if he was going to get hurt in a extremely violent way? Would he simply “fall apart” to avoid a nasty death? ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/18 "2013-07-04T05:56:10Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > But who decides what is in his favour? > > Does he? Or something else? What if going through a wall would lead to his death or capture? Would he hit his head? Let’s say _he_ decides when a power will be useful. So in one episode he tunnels through a wall to save a hostage. Turns out though, that the whole thing was a trap and Quantum Man has actually just tunneled into the Tower of London. Not only that, but the crown jewels are missing and security cameras have already got him on tape. What next for our intrepid hero?! ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/19 "2013-07-04T09:15:16Z")
One of the interesting twists of the Teela Brown story is that luck does not necessarily mean safety and security. Pain gives you an incentive to grow. So, in the short term, Quantum Man might not appear so fortunate. (It would work out for the best in the long term, but getting there might be unpleasant.) ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431/20 "2013-07-04T09:34:30Z")
Quantum Man feels pain. Quantum Man has bad luck and can be hurt, and killed. His powers are limited to specific quantum events, although a given event can be repeated over n particles. So, his whole body tunneling through a wall: ok. Predicting, or directing, where a roulette ball will land: not ok. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-adventures-of-quantum-man/662431.md?page=2)