# the after life.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 1999, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820 "1999-12-07T19:05:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/1 "1999-12-08T06:18:00Z")
If after you died, you found out you could return to earth as any other animal other than human, which would you choose and why? * * * “Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good things.” --Edgar Degas ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/2 "1999-12-08T06:27:00Z")
A wolf fits my personality best. They are fierce, but are loyal to their pack and mate for life. Um, and they look cool and howl at the moon and stuff. * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/3 "1999-12-08T06:33:00Z")
I think I would return as a fox * * * How do you like that! And without so much as a “Kiss my foot” or “Have an apple”! ---
**Author:** ![Cool\_Hand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@Cool\_Hand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cool_Hand)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/4 "1999-12-08T06:33:00Z")
A squirrel, because I can’t get those FUCKERS out of my attic! AARRRG! ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/5 "1999-12-08T06:59:00Z")
A cat. They got attitude… * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/6 "1999-12-07T19:05:00Z")
I wouldn’t. Returning as an animal would be a terrible existence. No reading, no movies, always hunting for food, and no internet. Maybe if I knew Michelle would be taking care of me, but other than that, no thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/7 "1999-12-07T19:10:00Z")
A golden Retriever. Damn it seems like a pretty cushy life. Lots of food, sleeping late on cold mornings, plenty of attention and brushing, walks in the woods and the occasional tennis ball chase. And all I have to to to justify all this is give the odd territorial bark at the pizza delivery man. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/8 "1999-12-07T19:11:00Z")
Well, my wife calls me lion (what, did you think Ayesha had a patent on it?), an old sensei named me Kuma (bear), but personally I would have to lobby for bonobo (pygmy chimp). Those suckers are playful, social, and have a prodigious amount of recreational sex. In other moods, a cetacian or an eagle are tempting, just for the entrance into a whole new world of experience. * * * - The best lack all conviction The worst are full of passionate intensity. \* ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/9 "1999-12-07T19:15:00Z")
## If I could come back as an animal, I would choose to be a hawk, just flying around all day long, avoiding the occasional low-flying Cessna. I wouldn’t mind coming back as a Siamese cat either. Shadowfox “We are what we pretend to be.” - Kurt Vonnegut ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/10 "1999-12-07T19:16:00Z")
Hawk * * * “If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.” ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/11 "1999-12-07T19:21:00Z")
I wanna be a grizzly bear…sleep all winter long and eat all summer and people pretty much shy away from you. Yep… a grizzly…that’s the ticket! * * * “Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good things.” --Edgar Degas ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/12 "1999-12-07T19:23:00Z")
First choice: peregrine falcon, the fastest bird, reaches up to 200 miles per hour in a dive! Second choice: the spine tailed swift, can fly up to 160 km/hour. Third choice: scissor-tailed hummingbird, for hovering and flying backwards. If I was a mammal: a giraffe or an orca. * * * La franchise ne consiste pas à dire tout ce que l’on pense, mais à penser tout ce que l’on dit. H. de Livry ---
**Author:** ![MrSCOTT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@MrSCOTT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSCOTT)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/13 "1999-12-07T20:02:00Z")
A roach. To gleefully spread diseases where i go, live on postage stamp glue, hang out in people’s walls and come out for a stroll across the kid’s birthday cake right when everybody is watching… poison proof, bomb proof, the bad-boy of the insect world…sounds like a lot of fun to me! -MrSCOTT ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/14 "1999-12-07T20:07:00Z")
I would say a cat, but then I don’t want to clean myself with my tongue. ☹ I’d say then either a blue whale, killer whale, or porpoise. And if I was the first, I would act like Moby Dick, ramming Japanese & Scandanavian whaling boats, hopefully avoiding harpoons. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/15 "1999-12-08T07:42:00Z")
I’d be a dodo bird or a carrier pigeon … just so I could say I was the only one. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/16 "1999-12-08T08:20:00Z")
Like Inky, I’d go with a dog. My dog has a great life. She sleeps a lot, sits in peoples’ laps (she’s very small), and gets a ton of table scraps. Why is a dog’s life supposed to be bad, anyway? * * * ~Kyla “You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.” ---
**Author:** ![lvick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d07c76/32.png) [@lvick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lvick)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/17 "1999-12-08T09:28:00Z")
definitely something wild, marine mammal sounds good maybe a sea otter if not that then a raptor, when I was a skydiver I really wanted to try flying horizontal, Larry ---
**Author:** ![JamesCarroll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@JamesCarroll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JamesCarroll)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/18 "1999-12-08T09:36:00Z")
A dog. So that I could finally lick… well, you guys understand. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/19 "1999-12-08T10:07:00Z")
A lemming. I want to find out what the deal is. * * * _The margarine of evil_ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820/20 "1999-12-08T14:40:00Z")
gotta go with ivick,I’ve Always loved otters. All they did on the nature shows I saw was slide into the water! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-after-life/11820.md?page=2)