# The Airline to Middle Earth! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313 "2003-03-22T06:50:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/1 "2003-03-22T06:50:18Z")
[http://pacific.bizjournals.com/pacific/stories/2003/03/10/daily35.html](http://pacific.bizjournals.com/pacific/stories/2003/03/10/daily35.html) > [@](#): > > Air New Zealand has painted two aircraft that fly between Los Angeles and Auckland so they amount to flying billboards for “The Two Towers,” the second Ring film. > > It has adopted a new slogan, “The Airline to Middle Earth.” > > And billboards for the airline in the Los Angeles area show the country’s tallest mountain with the caption, “Visit Middle Earth. They haven’t taken the set down.” Two tickets to the Grey Havens please! ---
**Author:** ![RadioWave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RadioWave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadioWave)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/2 "2003-03-22T07:01:52Z")
Great. I have to switch planes in Mordor. That’s gonna suck big time. At least its not O’Hare. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/3 "2003-03-22T07:07:26Z")
When they start employing Orcs as flight crew, that’s when I draw the line. Tripler I’ll take my complimentary bag of peanuts and broadsword, please. ---
**Author:** ![The\_MacDairmuid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_MacDairmuid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_MacDairmuid)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/4 "2003-03-22T07:15:04Z")
“We will be serving _lembas_ and _miruvoir_ just after takeoff. Make them last, that’s all you’ll be getting.” ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/5 "2003-03-22T18:53:44Z")
I think the Orks usually take care of the luggage. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/6 "2003-03-22T19:52:42Z")
Yeah, they _call_ it lembas, but they’re really just serving _cram_! ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/7 "2003-03-22T21:07:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GIGObuster \* > \*\*Two tickets to the Grey Havens please! \*\* **plays on a harp and sings mournfully** But if of planes I now should sing, what plane would come to me? What plane would ever fly me back across so wide a sea? ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/8 "2003-03-23T04:34:35Z")
I used to live at [Hobbiton-on-Sea](http://www.guanolad.com/stuff/karitane.gif). I miss it. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/9 "2003-03-23T06:25:24Z")
I cannot believe I’m the first one to say it… “Fly…you fools.” ---
**Author:** ![pilot141](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pilot141](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pilot141)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/10 "2003-03-23T07:12:01Z")
OK, here’s the official breakdown: Humans for the flight crew. Elves for the cabin crew (stewards/flight atttendants - you know you want it!). Orcs for the (surprise) baggage handlers. Ents can be in control of the tower and swat errant airplanes out of the sky. Hobbits…well, in my mind hobbits are best as the passengers. If anything goes wrong on the flight they will emerge as heroes, but until then they will mostly go…unnoticed. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/11 "2003-03-23T07:14:41Z")
Do they actually use planes or just giant eagles? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/12 "2003-03-23T07:42:54Z")
Elves? Serving? Perish the thought! ---
**Author:** ![Shana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Shana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shana)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/13 "2003-03-23T09:18:33Z")
I would like to Legolas to serve me please. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-airline-to-middle-earth/163313/14 "2003-03-23T12:27:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > \*\*When they start employing Orcs as flight crew, that’s when I draw the line. > > Tripler > I’ll take my complimentary bag of peanuts and broadsword, please. \*\* Even if the stewardesses look like this? [http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dungeon/9979/orcchr.htm](http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dungeon/9979/orcchr.htm) 😉 😃