# The Alphabet **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 2, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304 "2002-04-02T00:37:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/41 "2002-04-03T05:16:47Z")
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz Is the most remarkable word I’ve ever seen, Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz, I wish I knew exactly what I mean… ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/42 "2002-04-03T07:02:56Z")
[symbol]W SKULLA TI QELEIS[/symbol] ---
**Author:** ![IGJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/igjoe/32/5420_2.png) [@IGJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IGJoe)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/43 "2002-04-03T07:58:57Z")
And sometimes Y! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrVisible \* > \*\*And a colon actually looks more like \* \*\* Technically, that would be a sphincter. I’d say a colon looks more like **n** ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/44 "2002-04-03T12:25:41Z")
Why are we posting to this thread? After the OP, anything else is redundant. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/45 "2002-04-03T12:38:28Z")
So… This is how he keeps his post count up? Either that or he’s got a case of writer’s block. If he starts singing show tunes, I’m out of here. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/46 "2002-04-03T14:07:44Z")
I think that onetothreeFOURfive sixseveneightNINEten eleventwelve is the first real funk song most kids get to recognise. That bassline, the multiple harmonies, the funky pinball machine sounds… I can picture the Temptations singing it, before seguing into Papa was a rolling stone… ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/47 "2002-04-03T14:36:33Z")
:: tries to dredge up 30 year old memories :: **Ab** - **c** a **def-ghi-j** e **k** y **l-m’nop-q** u **rstuv-w** i **xyz** z It’s the most remarkable word I’ve ever seen **Ab** - **c** a **def-ghi-j** e **k** y **l-m’nop-q** u **rstuv-w** i **xyz** z I wish I knew exactly what it means It starts out like an “A” word as anyone can see But somewhere in the middle it gets awful queer to me **Ab** - **c** a **def-ghi-j** e **k** y **l-m’nop-q** u **rstuv-w** i **xyz** z If I ever find out just what this word can mean I’ll be the smartest bird the world has ever seen! It could be a kind of an elephant Or some kind of kazoo Or strange, exotic turtle You’ll never see in a zoo Or maybe a kind of a doggie Or a (special?) shade of blue um…something, something, something. something… Fenris Bird (I can’t be the only one who remembers this, can I?) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/48 "2002-04-03T15:16:04Z")
If you’re polite, the “P” is always silent. ---
**Author:** ![Doubting\_Robert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e495f1/32.png) [@Doubting\_Robert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doubting_Robert)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/49 "2002-04-03T22:08:01Z")
A B C D goldfish? L, M N O goldfish! S M R. C M P N? ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/50 "2002-04-03T22:30:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > **:: tries to dredge up 30 year old memories :: > Ab-ca **def-ghi-j** e **k** y **l-m’nop-q** u **rstuv-w** i **xyz** z > It’s the most remarkable word I’ve ever seen > Ab-ca **def-ghi-j** e **k** y **l-m’nop-q** u **rstuv-w** i **xyz** z > I wish I knew exactly what it means > It starts out like an “A” word as anyone can see > But somewhere in the middle it gets awful queer to me > Ab-ca **def-ghi-j** e **k** y **l-m’nop-q** u **rstuv-w** i**xyz\*\*z > If I ever find out just what this word can mean > I’ll be the smartest bird the world has ever seen! > > It could be a kind of an elephant > Or some kind of kazoo > Or strange, exotic turtle > You’ll never see in a zoo > Or maybe a kind of a doggie > Or a (special?) shade of blue > um…something, something, something. something… > > Fenris Bird (I can’t be the only one who remembers this, can I?) \*\* I immediately started screaming and clapping my hands when I read this post! I was planning to post it myself, but decided to see if anyone else would beat me to it… Not only was I beaten, my coworkers now think I’m being attacked by fruit flies in here. Thanks!😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/51 "2002-04-03T22:33:12Z")
It might be kind of an elephant, Or a funny kind of kazoo. Or a strange exotic turtle You never see in a zoo. Or maybe a kind of a doggie A particular shade of blue. Or maybe a pretty flower Naah, not with a name like that, uh-uh! ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/52 "2002-04-03T22:34:19Z")
C D B! D B S A B-Z B. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/53 "2002-04-03T23:08:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dijon Warlock \* > \*\*Actually, **Flamsterette\_X** , you wouldn’t be the first. I used to collect grimoires (“authentic” books on magic), and several of those alphabets were given as “magical” alphabets in them. A more recent use of one was in the Blair Witch Project and (presumably) its sequel. Going to [http://www.blairwitch.com/lang.html](http://www.blairwitch.com/lang.html) and clicking on the link called “Transitus Fluvii” will give you the so-called Witch’s Cypher, which is actually a slightly modified Chaldean 10 from my link with the last two letters (t and sch) stuck at the front to throw off the unwary. You think they could have at least invented their own script, rather than shamelessly lifting one. \*\* You mean other people beat me to it, and the idea was not original with me? Damn! 😃 I’ve heard of grimoires before, thanks to reading the _Outlander_ series by Diana Gabaldon… an excellent series! If I want to say any more, I’ll post up in Cafe Society. (or do a search first, hehe) I’ve seen Blair Witch 2… didn’t think much of it, and that’s all I’m going to say. (not creating a new thread up in Cafe Society just for that movie!) ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/54 "2002-04-03T23:19:11Z")
I occasionally wondered how someone gets to 5000+ posts. I understand now, I think. 😉 No Fenris, you are absolutely _not_ the only one who remembers that. Unfortunately, my neigbor was the one who owned the record, so all I ever can remember is the first couple of lines. I also remember that flash of realization -“oh, That’s what it’s about!” (I was pretty young). 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16! 16 Vunderful posts! Ah, ah, ha! (lightning and thunder) ---
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/55 "2002-04-03T23:57:38Z")
It takes a very special skill to insult someone alphabetically. This type of insult is known as an abecedarian insult. I provide an example below. ‘Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coprolalial, dasypygal, excerebrose, facinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ithyphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic, napiform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xylocephalous, yirning zoophyte’. This is translated thus : ‘Sir, you are an impotent, conceited, obscene, hairy-buttocked, brainless, wicked, toadying, goatish, indecent, stable-smelling, hunchbacked, thick-lipped, stinking, turnip-shaped, feeble-minded, pimply, trashy, repellant, smarmy, foul-mouthed, greasy, gluttonous, loathsome, wooden-headed, whining, extremely low form of animal life.’ ---
**Author:** ![meezer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9c0ed/32.png) [@meezer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meezer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/56 "2002-04-04T16:27:17Z")
I C U R I C U B I C U R 2 YYs 4 ME ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/57 "2002-04-04T18:41:26Z")
Why is this thread still alive? More importantly why do threads like this live a long while when something like [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=105867&highlight=Kobe) dies fast? ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304/58 "2002-04-04T23:33:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Why is this thread still alive? > > More importantly why do threads like this live a long while when something like [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=105867&highlight=Kobe) dies fast? \*\* I have no idea why this thread is still alive; maybe we all like the inane, relatively pointless stuff better than the stuff you have to thnk about! (I’m sure that’s true of the majority of us at least SOME of the time, right?) Who knows… but that’s my humble opinion! [sub]Opinions are just that… opinions. They are not absolute facts on right and wrong, and should be taken with a grain of salt![/sub] I wish I had something to add to the “alphabetical” file… wait! I do! This is from the 1996 edition of _THe Guinness Book of Records_: > [@](#): > > The languafe with the most letters is Khmer (Cambodian), with 74 (including some without any current use). > > Rotokas of central Bougainville Island, Papua New Guinea has the fewest letters, with 11 (a, b, e, g, i, k, o, p, r, t, and u). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-alphabet/101304.md?page=2)