# The "Anything But The Election" Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 2, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543 "2004-11-02T14:31:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fox\_Paws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/85e7bf/32.png) [@Fox\_Paws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_Paws)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/1 "2004-11-02T14:31:07Z")
I’m sick of all these threads in which people just yammer on and on about the election. “Why not use the popular vote?” “Bush is a chimpanzee!” “Kerry’s face looks like ass!” ::sigh:: So I hereby declare this to be the “Anything But The Election” thread. What you can talk about: [ul] [li]Anything[/li][/ul] What you can’t talk about: [ul] [li]The election[/li][/ul] Let me give you a few examples: [ul] [li]You can talk about how you read a really cool article in the newspaper this morning. Unless that article was about the election. Then you can’t talk about it.[/li][li]You can talk about how you saw a squirrel do something really funny this morning. Unless you saw the squirrel while walking to the poll to cast your vote in the election. Then you can’t talk about the squirrel because the conversation will surely turn to how squirrels, through their pesky nibbling, are going to cause massive power outages and screw up all the electronic voting machines.[/li][li]You can talk about your e **r** ection because, you see, even though erection _sounds_ like election, it’s not really the same thing. Unless you got an erection while thinking about voting for John Kerry. That’s just sick, and icky and wrong, you bestialist. Even if you _could_ talk about that in this thread, we don’t want to hear about it.[/li][li]You can talk about your pubic hair shaving habits. Unless you shaved your pubic hair into a “W,” and you think you’re all witty because you’re like “Hey, I’ve got a W Bush!” That’s too close to talking about the election. (You may, however, send photos my way.)[/li][/ul] So have at it, boys and girls, donkeys and elephants, right-wing fascist bastards and left-wing communist scumbags! Let’s have a totally, completely, 100% election-free thread! ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/2 "2004-11-02T14:44:52Z")
> [@Fox Paws](#): > > left-wing communist scumbags! I love how every scumbag is automatically a communist. What, there aren’t any capitalist scumbags? 😉 Actually, what I wanted to post here was that I was driving to work this morning and, well, I leave pretty early (about 6 a.m.), so there’s not much traffic, and I’m driving down the street (which has three lanes in each direction) and there are three cars ahead of me, one in each lane, all driving next to each other, and all about the same speed, which, unfortunately, was about 10 mph slower than I usually travel on this street at this time of the morning. Oh, shoot, I just remembered I was going to post in that procrastination thread. Oh, well. I’ll do it later. Anyway, I was stuck behind these three morons for 2 miles. By the time one of them turned off and I was able to get in their lane and get ahead, I was almost at the freeway already, and so frustrated I was ready to eat my steering wheel! ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/3 "2004-11-02T15:15:22Z")
My dog’s name is Toby. She’s a chocolate lab, so we named her after Toblerone, my dads favorite chocolate bar. ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/4 "2004-11-02T15:19:26Z")
I spent the night up a tree naked ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/5 "2004-11-02T15:20:11Z")
I like Toblerone bars. It’s kinda warm in here. I’m having contractions. I wonder if I can keep the baby in until tomorrow. Yeah, probably. I don’t have an erection. Unless you count my belly button, which currently looks like a short, fat, uncircumcised penis. Ahhh, the joys of pregnancy. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/6 "2004-11-02T15:20:19Z")
I’m going to go see a movie with my friend Bob this weekend. Neither of us can remember whose turn it is to pick. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/7 "2004-11-02T15:24:08Z")
I get to go to Maryland next week! And I’ll get to spend one day in [self-sensored because it might lead to discussion of…you know.] ---
**Author:** ![Fox\_Paws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/85e7bf/32.png) [@Fox\_Paws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_Paws)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/8 "2004-11-02T15:24:22Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I’m going to go see a movie with my friend Bob this weekend. Neither of us can remember whose turn it is to pick. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you should never pick your friend’s nose. ---
**Author:** ![vertizontal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ad7895/32.png) [@vertizontal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vertizontal)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/9 "2004-11-02T15:27:03Z")
This morning after I got done v…, oops… I mean, after I finished an errand, I went through the drive-thru at Burger King. I had a hamburger and a Cherry Coke for breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/10 "2004-11-02T15:28:46Z")
I was going to have toast for breakfast, but instead I elected to have cereal. My mind was in a swing state over whether to add cream to my coffee but I elected not to. I polled my coworkers to see if anyone wanted to get lunch today and we elected to get Mexican food. After work today, I need to carry a bush out back, that I dug out of my front yard. It’s leaves are in a red state right now. My dog seemed to be in a blue state this morning, so I took him to a vet who put him up on a platform to examine him. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/11 "2004-11-02T15:38:26Z")
> [@Iceland\_Blue](#): > > I spent the night up a tree naked You know, there are just somethings in this world that you just can’t throw out there without an explanation. This would be one of those. But anyway, I just want to let everyone know that I am in love. Deeply, truely in love and that the LOMF and myself are taking steps to be together soon. I am so happy I could just burst. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/12 "2004-11-02T15:39:53Z")
> [@TroubleAgain](#): > > I get to go to Maryland next week! And I’ll get to spend one day in [self-sensored because it might lead to discussion of…you know.] Where are you going to be? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/13 "2004-11-02T15:47:01Z")
**Kudos** to you **Ginger** on your pregnancy. May the baby arrive with a great **Kang** ringing throughout the country. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/14 "2004-11-02T15:53:36Z")
I had eggs over-medium for breakfast. I usually avoid them due to the increased yolk vs clothes hazard but I threw caution to the wind. The Jets beat the crap outta Miami last night. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/15 "2004-11-02T15:58:28Z")
The book I started last night is just terrible\*. Help me out, I’m off to the library, any suggestions? I need an exceptionally good book for tonight because… [self censored to comply with the OP]. \*“Listening Woman” by Tony Hillerman. I usually like his books but this one is a dog. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/16 "2004-11-02T15:59:08Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > My dog seemed to be in a blue state this morning He must be a Kerry Blue Terrier. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/17 "2004-11-02T16:12:10Z")
Erm… Hello everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/18 "2004-11-02T16:13:17Z")
I don’t want to talk about [that… thing], but now that I’m forbidden to, it’s all I can think about. _Shakes Fist_ Curse you, **Fox Paws** ---
**Author:** ![Rock\_n\_Roach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Rock\_n\_Roach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock_n_Roach)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/19 "2004-11-02T16:18:45Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > I was going to have toast for breakfast, but instead I **elected** to have cereal. My mind was in a \*\*swing state \*\* over whether to add cream to my coffee but I \*\*elected \*\* not to. > > I \*\*polled \*\* my coworkers to see if anyone wanted to get lunch today and we **elected** to get Mexican food. > > After work today, I need to carry a **bush** out back, that I dug out of my front yard. It’s leaves are in a \*\*red state \*\* right now. > > My dog seemed to be in a \*\*blue state \*\* this morning, so I took him to a vet who put him up on a \*\*platform \*\* to examine him. Hey, Trunk’s playing dirty. I vote we send him over to great debates! Bolding my doing ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543/20 "2004-11-02T16:21:43Z")
I bought this big Bush at Home Depot but it was too heavy to Kerry to the car. Sorry. :o [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anything-but-the-election-thread/272543.md?page=2)