# The Apprentice -- 3/17 (Happy St. Pat's!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 17, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972 "2005-03-17T13:28:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/1 "2005-03-17T13:28:08Z")
Some of you will be out drinking green beer – some of you will be watching b-ball – but here at Stately Twicks Manor, we’ll be watching The Apprentice, as usual. Clips show, apparently, so we can get some more back story info – whaddya think, Erin emotes and Chris loses his temper? – and a look at some of the audition tapes, including Danny’s. I’ve been thinking about casting the last day or so – what’s your take on picking people (like, say, Danny) who clearly have zero chance of actually winning, but who may provide some “color” along the way? Obviously you can’t start with 16 corporate drones – but it’s possible for actual contenders to be likeable folks with actual personalities (Troy, Bren). Would it be possible to enjoy a season with no “characters”? Okay, y’all think about that for a while. I’ll see the hardcore fans back here at 9 – the rest of you enjoy whatever IRL alternatives you’re foolish enough to pursue … ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/2 "2005-03-17T13:48:04Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > what’s your take on picking people (like, say, Danny) who clearly have zero chance of actually winning, but who may provide some “color” along the way? I always hope there’s a chance for the oddball to win. Look at Survivor1. Danny was intelligent and college-educated, so he was a viable candidate. Just, odd. I’d say he had more of a chance than Sandy, who didn’t meet the basic qualifications. This year, at the beginning, I thought everyone could win (except Tana :smack:). Playing the game is what causes…personalities… to emerge. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/3 "2005-03-17T14:50:43Z")
> [@Rysler](#): > > I always hope there’s a chance for the oddball to win. Look at Survivor1. Survivor is a completely different kind of show – the point of this one is to find someone to insert into Trump’s corporate chart. I just can’t see him picking an oddball. “Mr. Trump, Danny. Danny, Mr. Trump.” [The Donald]: “Um, no, I don’t think so.” ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/4 "2005-03-17T14:58:14Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Survivor is a completely different kind of show – the point of this one is to find someone to insert into Trump’s corporate chart. I just can’t see him picking an oddball. “Mr. Trump, Danny. Danny, Mr. Trump.” [The Donald]: “Um, no, I don’t think so.” So you don’t believe Danny has the qualifications, on paper, for the job? I think Danny could have been the inverse of Chris. Batshit crazy on the outside, cunning on the inside. But he just turned out to be ridiculous. What about Raj? He was clearly picked for goofy style, but had the cred, and didn’t self-implode as quickly as Danny. I think as long as they limit it to one person for pizzazz, it’s okay. If they try and cast just for conflict and drama (Season 2), it falls apart. It’s a better show if everyone’s serious. I’d watch for 16 corporate drones. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/5 "2005-03-17T15:02:00Z")
Last season, Raj was definately an oddball, but he got pretty far. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/6 "2005-03-17T15:08:03Z")
Yeah, on paper Danny has the qualifications – but it would be clear upon meeting him (and even more clear upon seeing his audition tape, judging by the micro-flashes of it they’ve been giving us in the promos) that he’s not really a corporate kind of guy. Raj, OTOH, could fit into corporate culture just fine. It’s the difference between spats and a leisure suit: one is eccentric (and thus okay), the other merely odd (and thus a little disconcerting). Y’all may recall I was rooting for Raj early last season – up until the point when it became clear he really was just a Republican pig. 😃 And I’d be fine with watching an “all-plausible candidates” season – that was actually the point I was trying to make. (Hm, maybe I should have waited to be all the way awake before writing this week’s OP?) The show is actually about competence – or should be – and the subtleties of character that are revealed as the show unfolds are what make it interesting. IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/7 "2005-03-17T15:14:38Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > And I’d be fine with watching an “all-plausible candidates” season – that was actually the point I was trying to make. I know you were saying that, I was just making the case that Danny was a plausible candidate. 😃 In vain, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/8 "2005-03-17T15:28:37Z")
What? The show hasn’t even aired yet and the **Raj Ratings** are already posted? Well, if The Donald can air a clip show, so can I. You won’t see your usual rankings of the players. After all, since it’s likely nothing earth shattering will be shown tonight, there is really no chance for movement. We won’t see anything that changes the current beliefs that Chris is a hot-headed weirdo, Craig half Invisible Woman, half Donovan McNabb, Tana is so white she bleeds mayonnaise, Erin makes me want to eat my own face off, and Bren has no chance to win this thing. Instead, I decided to pull my favorite quotes from past ratings, and add an extra comment or two as needed. Much like Trump and this show, I consider this a paean to me. **Week 1** On Danny - “Bad start. You are quirky like Sam. So, while I find your oddness enjoyable now, I will hope you leave soon before it wears thin. This changes if you show any ability.” I feel pretty good about that being a perfect call. On Tana - “I bet that by the time you are fired, we will all wish we had the chance to pee on you.” Well, I was wrong because now I like you, but golden shower humor is always welcome. On the season outlook - “Still, I am 100% certain a female will win this time. I’ll say right now either Verna or Stephanie. Why? Why not.” Well, I’m still certain about the female thing. But it clearly won’t be either of those females. **Week 2** On the hotel renovation task - “At first, I though the task was awful. 2 days, 20K to renovate a hotel? Failure was the only possible outcome. But, it was a valuable lesson. You can’t always have a winner of a task. How someone reacts to the impossible and at least tries their darnedest is a good indicator of what the person is really like.” On Kristen - “You have such a huge stick up your butt, you could visit Muir Woods and be accused of shoplifting.” Yeah, you really did suck. On Carolyn - “None this week. Although, Carolyn bouncing on the bed and then hosting her own segment of “Where in the World is Verna San Diego” was nice to see.” They really have decided to show her as extremely likable and quite the MILF in her own right. **Week 3** On Danny’s firing - “Deserved it really. You weren’t quite odd enough to be lovable. The guitar got old quick. I think you inflicted that “Unbelievable” crap on us. And, if your best hope at staying around is trying to convince Trump to fire the exempt guy, you have big problems. And, you had big problems.” On Erin’s legal “expertise” - “Near as I can figure you worked about nine months and then quit to become a model or TV personality. That’s like me speaking from an agrarian perspective because I eat Wheat Chex in the morning.” Yeah, blatantly overblowing your own abilities is what has really irritated me with this chick. On Craig’s lack of screen time - “If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to see it squish Craig, would any of us realize he was missing from the show?” On my fantastic predictive abilities - “Until I see otherwise, the final 4 is Bran, Tara, John, and Kendra.” Wow, that call sucked. **Week 4** On Audrey - An ineffective and minimzed role on this project. And, confessional interviews tearing others down. Until something positive comes to light, you can’t be considered a contender due to the Rancic/Perdew corollary." That pretty much panned out correctly. On Tara (who?) - “Quiet as a mute librarian. Actually, you make a mute librarian look angrier than a Hell’s Angel in a bar fight.” **Week 5** On the candidates - “What do the contestants on The Apprentice and my freezer full of breast milk have in common? Both involve a lot of sucking and leave an unpleasant aftertaste in my throat.” On the appeal of Michael - “He was a bigger waste of space than Tom Arnold in polite society. Michael reminded me of a smarmier, greasier, less appealing John Belushi. And, I’m pretty sure I mean Belushi circa 2004, not 1979.” On Craig - “Maybe if I go into the bathroom, stare in the mirror, and say his name 3 times he will magically appear on the show and do something (killing Erin is a start.)” What the heck did this guy do during tryouts that so impressed the casting people? It sure isn’t coming through now. **Week 6** On the horror of Chris - “But you as a clown next week? Just think back to little Bart Simpson. “Can’t sleep. Clown’ll eat me.”” On Alex’s blinding whiteness - “I don’t know, maybe I’m the only one that gets a kick out of dorky white people reveling in their dorkiness in a situation like this.” On John - “Right now you seem confident, correct, and untouchable. So, I fully expect the veil to be lifted soon.” Should’ve played the lottery that day. **Week 7** On Chris - " I’d feel more comfortable going to a miniature golf course run by John Wayne Gacy." On Kendra - “Still, I think you have a lot more to offer than we have been shown. This is partly why I assume you make it to the end.” On John’s downfall beginning - “I think everything you said to and about Audrey was spot on. I think every way you said it was obtuse, bullyish, and poorly handled. And that is what resonates. I get the feeling you are a star when you can have your way, but when things go wrong you turn more into Michael. A sulking, hulking jerk. Plenty of time to turn it around, but I think the dye has been cast.” **Week 8** On the show - “We are now actually more excited for the start of Survivor than the start of The Apprentice.” And, I think the gulf is growing. On the continuing mystery of Craig - “You seemed solid and understated, which is probably going to be on your tombstone. Well, either that or it will just be blank, much like my memories of your good actions.” On the Tana love - “ut, I think I am now officially rooting for Tana. She is oddly hot. Really oddly, but still. She stepped up in a major way.” This still shocks me. Next week on the **Raj Ratings** … I really hope we get some sense of some of these yokels having skill. At least with prior seasons we had people that were clearly above the pack. This time, it almost seems like every person is below average. These people are such nincompoops that they have actually found a way to subvert basic mathematic principles. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/9 "2005-03-17T17:01:28Z")
> [@Mullinator](#): > > Much like Trump and this show, I consider this a paean to me. As long as you skip the combover, I think you’re okay. And damn, it’s fun to see some Raj-runs. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/10 "2005-03-18T01:44:23Z")
Bump! I think I’m most interested in Chris’s audition. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/11 "2005-03-18T02:03:46Z")
You know, I miss the Magna that was represented in Danny’s song. That was a nice moment. Erin, Michael, Kendra, Bren, Alex, all together and happy. I hate to say it because it’s so disgusting, but Magna really did lose its center after that. ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/12 "2005-03-18T02:05:40Z")
“It was bold, but it was also stupid”. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/13 "2005-03-18T02:14:06Z")
“That’s when I knew…the elevator wasn’t going to the top.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/14 "2005-03-18T02:20:12Z")
“I would have gotten a better shake from the Mob.” “That’s when I knew my entire team was out to get me.” ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/15 "2005-03-18T02:24:05Z")
Man, talk about not gettin’ it – he was fired on a night his project manager was trying to fire someone else. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/16 "2005-03-18T02:32:09Z")
Erin is so not making the final four. Man is she two-faced. Craig and Tana share a room!? ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/17 "2005-03-18T02:36:04Z")
> [@Rysler](#): > > Craig and Tana share a room!? So you heard the same thing I did… ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/18 "2005-03-18T05:27:16Z")
Something weird, and I wish I’d taped the show so I could check that I heard this right – You know all those little bios? So-and-so started a realty company, someone else closed his first deal at 18, etc? It seems to me that all they said about Craig was: “He supports his family by working as a part-time firefighter.” HUH??? _That_ is the biggest puffery they could come up with for Craig? ---
**Author:** ![Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d9b06d/32.png) [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/19 "2005-03-18T05:44:33Z")
After last week’s Skeeve Hour with Gene Simmons and John, I actually started to like Erin a little. And then the producers air a clip show and I am reminded all over again why I detested her from the start, with special bonus footage to reinforce my hatred. She doesn’t equal the venomous witches from last season, but I think that’s mostly because of the people around her. Apparently her own teammates share my distaste for her, judging from their eagerness to get rid of Erin (or at least, her _perception_ that they were eager to get rid of her) ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972/20 "2005-03-18T12:17:24Z")
There were a lot of Erin conflicts in those clips. We had Erin vs. Verna, Erin vs. Kendra, Erin discussing room changes with Tana and then saying it was because her whole team hated her, Erin cutting down Stephanie and Michael in the confessional. I’m hoping this means Erin is not in the final two. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-apprentice-3-17-happy-st-pats/294972.md?page=2)