# The Aristocrats **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [July 11, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914 "2012-07-11T17:51:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/1 "2012-07-11T17:51:04Z")
A man walks into a talent agent’s office with his wife, children, and pets. He wants the talent agent to see his family act. The talent agent says no, he doesn’t want to represent family acts. The man pleads with him for a chance, tells him it’s something he’s never seen before. The talent agent relents and tells him to go ahead. Then… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/2 "2012-07-11T17:53:54Z")
In walks Gilbert Gottfried of all people! He begs the agent to allow the family to demonstrate their act. . . ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/3 "2012-07-11T18:23:47Z")
The agents say, “Ok Mr. Gottfried, if you want me to watch this act, you have to do what you always do. Get down on your hands and knees.”. Gottfried gets down on his hands and knees and starts mooing like a cow and then slaps his ass cheek three times… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/4 "2012-07-11T20:05:33Z")
At which point a capuchan monkey pokes his head out of GG’s bum and says, Yes? Who’s there?.. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/5 "2012-07-11T20:26:33Z")
The father takes his cue and says, “Tis I, the Pope!!!” and pulls the monkey out of GG’s ass, unzips his own fly and starts screwing GG while the monkey dances the Macarena on GG’s back… ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/6 "2012-07-11T20:39:24Z")
You spoiled the punchline. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/7 "2012-07-11T20:49:45Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > You spoiled the punchline. Said an interloper who bent down to tie his shoe, causing his pants seat to rip apart, just as Glbert Gottfried was slathering KY jelly on his foot… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/8 "2012-07-11T21:40:58Z")
Ok, seems appropriate right about now to ask this: **TriPolar** , what is your vision here? Are we talking comedic double entendre & red-hot innuendo? Or…you know…shock value? How do you you want it? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/9 "2012-07-11T21:43:20Z")
Anyway you want it that’s the way you need it. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/10 "2012-07-11T21:44:33Z")
…said Steve Perry as he was licking his lips which were full of KY jelly. Then he let go of the penguin and… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_jeffrey_lebowski/32/215_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/11 "2012-07-11T21:51:33Z")
baby seal while Seal grabbed Steve Perry and sealed him with a kiss full on the mouth. Meanwhile, ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/12 "2012-07-11T22:12:16Z")
…the man’s wife started to take off her clothes, and… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/13 "2012-07-11T23:34:04Z")
Moved MPSIMS --\> the Game Room. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-aristocrats/627914/14 "2012-07-12T00:45:36Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > …the man’s wife started to take off her clothes, and… the 6 year old son reaches up just as she pulls down her panties, grabs the exposed string and yanks it just like a party popper. Out pops the moms tampon and the boy takes the applicator, puts it in his mouth, and blows it to the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy while father fucks GG to the beat of him slapping his own ass first left then right to the tune. The family dog sits in the corner awaiting his cue…