# The Art of being a jerkoff **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 12, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283 "2003-06-12T05:29:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BadBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@BadBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBaby)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/61 "2003-06-13T02:20:23Z")
Aslan, I second everything phouka mentioned. Stuff such as is happening to you makes me embarrassed to be an art teacher sometimes. I suffered a rotten high school art teacher (she showed up staggering and weepily drunk at the awards ceremony, not too much worse than on any given school day), like you, but nobody ever hurt me at least. A million years later, I make super sure none of that crap goes on in my classes. Not one deliberately ruined project, and lord help the kid who even looks funny at someone else in my classes. If I can maintain discipline and a positive learning environment, than so can she if she cares. The trick is to make her care. So go through those steps as phouka advised, plus _get your parents involved_. Sad to say, a lot of teachers and administrators will try to brush you off until they get an angry parent right up in their faces. Good luck and take care, it really does get better after high school. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/62 "2003-06-13T02:29:18Z")
I think that you migt be able to get away with providing enough good-ol’-regular-not-tainted-in-any-way kind of chocolate that they’d make themselves tummy-sick by pig-gorging it down though. If not for them, then maybe for me? ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/63 "2003-06-13T02:43:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ilsa\_Lund \* > \*\*Phenolpthalein hasn’t been used in Ex-Lax for sometime. [www.drugstore.com](http://www.drugstore.com) > > Poisoning? \*\* Phenolphthalein is far too valuable to waste, given that it is produced ONLY by the rare phenolphthalein plant that is found high in the mountains of, er, Belgium. We must conserve what phenolphthalein we have for its intended purpose: use as an indicator in high school science experiments. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/64 "2003-06-13T02:53:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > Gee whiz … I’m sure you have a recipe for that. > > Get over yourself. You’re not that important. **Jack** , when you learn how to be a friend you might have one some day. Until then, go cork little Mr. Batty and then find someone who gives a fuck about your pissy attitude. You’ve already seen what others here think of your style of friendship. BIG NEWS: I don’t like being accused of wishing to poison people. Especially in a simulated and damn near verbatim quote. I know this goes beyond your doors of perception, so I’ll leave it at that. PS: **Zappo** , in legal terms, it’s probably called an “attractive nusiance.” You are also assuming that it was possible to (somehow) stuff a massive overdose into each little chokkie. Take some time to examine the size per dose of Ex-Lax required to injure someone and then compare it to your average piece of chocolate candy. This was neither my intent nor any sort of instruction. I’ve already disavowed my suggestion of its use. Happy? ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/65 "2003-06-13T03:29:10Z")
\J-Kat\DRANO IS A BURNY SUBSTANCE WHAT DONE CAUSES YOU TO DIE IF YALL EATS IT AND I NOT BE SERIOUS ANYWAY. --------- ?:eek: Are you &%^%$ing NUTS? Need I even elaborate?😕 :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/66 "2003-06-13T03:32:40Z")
The bottom line is, you’re not supposed to pull a quote and then change it. Even if you don’t include the original poster’s name. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/67 "2003-06-13T03:35:11Z")
My intent was for his name to be bold. I didn’t change the quote, merely misinterpreted it. I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/68 "2003-06-13T03:40:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\ ***Jack** , when you learn how to be a friend you might have one some day. Until then, go cork little Mr. Batty and then find someone who gives a fuck about your pissy attitude. You’ve already seen what others here think of your style of friendship. > \*\* Which others? You know, besides you? As for his style of friendship, I’m hard-pressed to think of a single Dopefest where we weren’t glad to have him there. It’s a good style. ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/69 "2003-06-13T03:48:52Z")
This article has some good points to make, related to the whole high school dynamic: [Why Nerds Are Unpopular](http://www.paulgraham.com/paulgraham/nerds.html) ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/70 "2003-06-13T03:52:36Z")
'S’okay, **Ilsa** , I didn’t even see your post until I previewed. I was referring to **j\_kat** ’s second post in this thread. And what made that post particularly damning was the fact that, unlike you, he used the > [@](#): > > quote feature , giving the impression that he was quoting **Zenster** accurately. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/71 "2003-06-13T04:08:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sassy \* > \*\*This article has some good points to make, related to the whole high school dynamic: [Why Nerds Are Unpopular](http://www.paulgraham.com/paulgraham/nerds.html) \*\* That is a damn fine article, Sassy. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/72 "2003-06-13T04:56:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > PS: **Zappo** , in legal terms, it’s probably called an “attractive nusiance.” PS: **Zenster** , what I find amusing is that you are so pompous that you would presume to “educate” Zappo on legal terms. (What the fuck do you think he was using in his initial post? Medical jargon?) Apparently you aren’t aware that Zappo is a practicing attorney and I’m sure more up on what your _suggestion_ would “probably” be called than you are. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/73 "2003-06-13T05:06:11Z")
OK can we all calm down here? Encouraging a poster to physically harm other people is not appreciated at the SDMB. j\_kat\_251, don’t use the quote function and modify another poster’s changed words inside the “quotation”. [That is mentioned in our FAQ.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=2171051#post2171051) Also would it be possible to keep other personal disagreements outside of thisw thread? Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/74 "2003-06-13T05:18:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > Which others? You know, besides you? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Light Strand_ > … The most disturbing post here though is Jack Batty’s. Jack, I don’t have a dog in this this fight, but I feel compelled to say; you sir, are a jackass. I simply can not believe that you actually have the nerve to write such a malicious post. Remind me not to do you any favors … Yeah, **Snooooop** , it’s just me and my little chickens that think so. By the way, you can go back to dry humping [**obfuscaitrist** ’s](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1567333#post1567333) leg now. **Maureen** , I was doing my best to suggest what sort of legitimate tort offense might be prosecutable under the provisions stated. I am not disputing culpability, only intent to do grievous bodily injury. After what **Aslan2** has been put through, I find it difficult to believe that a jury would convict him on more than grounds of simple self-defense. Making fucking bullies spend their entire lunch break sitting on the crapper seems slightly appropriate to me. They are, after all, full of shit to begin with. Call it therapy, if you will. I am more than willing to never again mention such a notion in order to comply with this message board’s rules. However, I am not ashamed of having suggested such a thing. Bullies are the scum of the earth and merely budding felonious criminals. **Aslan2** , once again, I apologize for this sort of hijack. By now, you should be able to tell just how much I detest bullies and their ilk. **Arnold** , thank you for providing the voice of reason. I’m done here. ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/75 "2003-06-13T06:48:08Z")
I hate doing “mean” things to people, unfortunately. Whenever I’ve killed a fly, whenever I’ve insulted or fought back against someone, I feel bad. I don’t like doing stuff like that, because usually when I do something like that I get it back twice as hard. I don’t think I could do something quite like putting laxatives, them being deservant or not. Plus, I’d imagine they’d have a better chance against me in court if I did something like that, despite it being a form of self defense. ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/76 "2003-06-13T07:09:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*As a sidetrack, how do you get to stay home from school if you don’t want to go to art class? \*\* No idea. I tried to go to class. I missed the first two blocks of school because I was feeling horrible mentally and the thought of going to school made me feel unwell. I knew I had to go, because I was now behind on my work. I get there, and am told that it would be better for me to stay home rather than go to school. I was also told that it would be better if I stayed home next week(this week) rather than to come to school. It was a friday. They also denied me access to the computer class, where I go to a computer club with all my friends. We normally play games over a LAN for several hours, sometimes even until 10:00(that’s from around 3-10). Very pissed off, because I hadn’t seen my friends for a while and I wanted to play some starcraft with them. Bastards. :mad: Sorry to reply so late. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/77 "2003-06-13T07:40:30Z")
To answer some questions: I’m 14, grade nine. I have about three more years of this to deal with, possibly now more as a result of me being depressed and missing a metric shitload of work. This has me down, because I want to graduate at the right time. I want a diploma that states that I _passed_ thru high school, not that I spent 5 years there. As for my teacher: My teachers a she. She is quite frail, small and old. And very incompetent. She has no respect among any of her students, me included. I had a little respect for her, but that was before I was getting punched and stabbed in front of her. She knowlingly lets students force other students to draw for them, so they get marks instead of nothing as a result of them doing jackshit all day. Another student might have a case for **sexual harassment.** If you plead enough, she’ll cave in on most things. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/78 "2003-06-13T07:55:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aslan2 \* > \*\*I missed the first two blocks of school because I was feeling horrible mentally and the thought of going to school made me feel unwell. I knew I had to go, because I was now behind on my work. I get there, and am told that it would be better for me to stay home rather than go to school. I was also told that it would be better if I stayed home next week(this week) rather than to come to school…They also denied me access to the computer class, where I go to a computer club with all my friends. \*\* I don’t think “they” can do that. Take this to the school board. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/79 "2003-06-13T08:06:58Z")
Effing Hell, **Aslan2** , I just wanted to let you know how disconcerted I am by your situation. Education is one of the main reasons for living. Art is one of the only others. That you should be discouraged from pursuing either is tantamount to criminal in and of itself. You have been subjected to violence and your work to vandalism and that _ **is** _ criminal. I freely apologize if I have seemed to bring any ill will into this thread. The crap I get dished with here means nothing compared to the fact that you have to put up with this sort of tyrannical hogwash. I only hope you keep art as an integral part of your life and let no one discourage your creative instincts. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283/80 "2003-06-13T09:46:43Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t use the quote function and modify another poster’s changed words inside the “quotation”. That is mentioned in our FAQ. Sorry. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-being-a-jerkoff/181283.md?page=5)