# The Art of Gift Giving (how to rid it from your life?)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-gift-giving-how-to-rid-it-from-your-life/218322>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 11, 2003, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-gift-giving-how-to-rid-it-from-your-life/218322 "2003-12-11T08:38:55Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-gift-giving-how-to-rid-it-from-your-life/218322/21 "2003-12-15T17:55:58Z")

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Miss Manners would recommend that you stop giving the gifts. If the niece doesn’t like them enough to say thank you, then it’s a bit pointless. Think of it as teaching your niece a very valuable lesson for life; you can always resume the gifts once your sister gets the idea. [This](http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A25833-2002Nov22?language=printer) is not really to the point, but it’s the best I can do for the moment. (Go to the library and get one of the books.)

I myself would say that $100 is an awful lot for a present. For an only niece with well-off parents, I’d spend more like $25, unless it’s a new baby gift. Gifts within families should be understood to be tailored to incomes.

> [@](#):
>
> It is not selfishness to want to know that your kind intentions have had the desired effect–you expect the dog to wag its tail when you pet it, don’t you? Would you be just as satisfied if it growled and walked away, knowing that you had performed your side well? Yes, it is the job of parents to teach this, but other relatives can sometimes encourage it, too, with gentle inquiries about whether the present was received and if it suited.  
> _Miss Manners’ guide to rearing perfect children_, p. 37

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**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-art-of-gift-giving-how-to-rid-it-from-your-life/218322/22 "2003-12-16T01:07:16Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by spacezinator \*  
> \*\*How long do you think people would buy you gifts if you never gave anything back? \*\*

I can answer this from the other side. I have gotten nothing (or small pieces of crap) from my brother and his family for birthdays/Christmas since he got married about 15 years ago. He has four children now, so I’ve deliberately refrained from doing the $math because just thinking about it makes me cranky. I sent gifts for Christmas already, but I think this will be the last year I will do so. If I got thanked occasionally I might have a better attitude about it.

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