# The asshole kid with the cool dad **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 12, 2017, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984 "2017-01-12T20:14:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/61 "2017-01-18T17:10:35Z")
“Asshole” isn’t the best term, but is it that different than “bully,” a term which everyone seems OK with? We are more caught up with semantics than calling a behavioral spade a spade. ---
**Author:** ![Maurie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Maurie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maurie)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/62 "2017-01-18T17:16:41Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > “Asshole” isn’t the best term, but is it that different than “bully,” a term which everyone seems OK with? We are more caught up with semantics than calling a behavioral spade a spade. I do think “asshole” and “bully” are different, but even still, he doesn’t describe a bully here. We have one example of a _three year old_ having a physical altercation with a kid who he seemed to think had something of his. Then we have one example of a crying meltdown in class when he was having trouble regulating. Neither to me smacks of a kid who purposely intimidates and belittles classmates (which is what I consider bullying behaviour, and which I will agree is closer to “asshole” behaviour than anything the OP has described). ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/63 "2017-01-18T17:33:51Z")
Can I move to this Utopia where there is no such thing as any kid that that might even remotely be properly labeled as an asshole? For that matter, can I get a damn time machine and go back and grow up there? Gawd, only on the gawd fucking damn dope could you have a bunch of retarded assholes argueing that assholes couldn’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![Maurie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Maurie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maurie)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/64 "2017-01-18T17:47:58Z")
Disclaimer - I am not in any way diagnosing this kid I have never met – I only post this to show why I keep an open mind about kids who act out. This is what [bullying behaviours](https://www.bullyingcanada.ca/what-is-bullying) are (and I suppose I agree, **Velocity** , that “bully” is probably fairly close to what I think of as an “asshole”): > [@](#): > > \*- Verbal bullying - name-calling, sarcasm, teasing, spreading rumours, threatening, making negative references to one’s culture, ethnicity, race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, unwanted sexual comments. > > - Social Bullying - mobbing, scapegoating, excluding others from a group, humiliating others with public gestures or graffiti intended to put others down. > - Physical Bullying - hitting, poking, pinching, chasing, shoving, coercing, destroying or stealing belongings, unwanted sexual touching. > - Cyber Bullying - using the internet or text messaging to intimidate, put-down, spread rumours or make fun of someone.\* Here are some behaviours associated with [anxiety in children](https://www.mendability.com/autism-therapy/anxiety-checklist-how-do-i-know-if-my-child-has-an-anxiety-problem/): > [@](#): > > \*- Rigidity and inflexibility > > - Anger > - Aggression > - Restlessness, irritability, tantrums > - Opposition and defiance > - Crying > - Poor concentration > > Anxious children are always very demanding and can become very emotional if things don’t go the way they want. Parents can become confused about how firm they need to be with limits and if they should give in to the child to avoid emotional outbursts.\* From the sparse details we’ve been given, the “asshole” sounds a hell of a lot closer to number two than number one, to me. Again, I am in no way pretending to know what may be going on with this kid, I’m just saying that the OP doesn’t either (and maybe even the kid’s own parents don’t), so isn’t it just plain kinder to show an unhappy little 7 year old kid some patience and tolerance? ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/65 "2017-01-18T23:05:41Z")
> [@Azeotrope](#): > > I’ve come to hate the term “virtue signalling” :rolleyes: as much as I’ve come to hate the word “snowflake,” but I do agree that some kids are assholes. I use the term virtue signalling to point out when someone uses some holier than thou PC bullshit. In this case, people are saying “OMG, you can’t call a kid an asshole, they’re all precious little sweethearts and only a jerk would ever see a little kid as an asshole, and if they ACT like assholes you STILL can’t call them assholes because there is obviously some issue with the poor darling” > [@](#): > > My own nephew was an asshole until around 8. My brother wanted to be the “fun dad” that ours was not (he wasn’t cruel or anything, but he was unemotional and a strict disciplinarian) and my sister-in-law didn’t have much interest in the difficult aspects of parenting. As a result he got whatever he wanted when he wanted it, did and ate what he wanted to when he felt like it, etc. Hell, they wiped his ass for him until around age 6 and were still cuddling him to sleep every night, which he soon figured could push bedtime back past midnight if he wanted. No developmental or emotional issues, just spoiled rottener than a dead skunk in August. He was a poor student who gave his teachers hell, and was definitely “that kid” that his classmates avoided. > > One day SIL and I were in a shoe store that had a kiddy area with toys and stuff to keep kids busy while their mothers tried on shoes. Another boy, age 3-4 was playing with a truck, which Nephew decided he wanted. So he stomped over and yelled at the kid to give him the truck. Kid yelled back that he wasn’t done playing yet. Nephew flat out bitchslapped the poor kid, yanked the truck out of his hands, shoved him aside, and started playing with the truck like decking a kid half his size and stealing his toy was nothing at all. > > The younger kid started wailing. His mother ran right over and asked what happened, and got scary mad. She was screaming at Nephew, and when SIL tried to drag him out she tore a strip off SIL’s hide and was threatening to get the manager, to get mall security and have them thrown out, she was gonna call the police, etc. etc. > > SIL finally got him out of there and scolded him for the first time in like ever… and he threw a Fukashima meltdown because he couldn’t take “his” new truck home. The ride home was spent pissing and moaning about the truck and the other mother for being so mean, because it was the other kid’s fault for not giving him the truck in the first place. > > After that, they decided that discipline just might possibly be a good thing. It took a while and Nephew did not like it one tiny bit at first, but he grew some manners, settled down at school, and eventually turned into a normal human being. Thank you. THAT was the point of my OP. This otherwise normal couple have an asshole for a kid because of their hands off approach. > [@](#): > > I get the impression that Asshole Kid’s parents used a more hands-off approach when raising the older sister, which worked, so they just kept on doing the same for AK without realizing that what suits one kids temperment and personality might not work for another. Hopefully the parents are starting to realize this, based on the experiences at Boy Scouts and whatnot, and will adjust their parenting to something that works out better for this kid. I hope so. I think you are right on the money. Their daughter is just a bit artsy fartsybut she is very well adjusted and plays well with others. The boy thinks the world revolves around him and the rest of us are PvE content in his life. You get the distinct impression that they are trying to teach him to be an independent, creative individual who has a healthy disrespect for authority. What they are getting is an asshole. I think that the father is starting to get embarrassed by his son’s behavior at the boy scouts. His kid really sticks out as disruptive and disrespectful. He’s trying to reason with his son, its a lot of effort and frankly I think that ship sailed years ago but everyone appreciates the effort. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/66 "2017-01-18T23:06:57Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I Am Not A Parent, but one thing I’ve observed is that you don’t know what will work with any individual. > > I was cashiering a mother with three daughters. The two older ones were standing to the side and behaving like angels, while the younger one was being a total loud, screaming acting up brat. After my usual idea of “you don’t allow behavior like that in this store” didn’t work, I thanked the mother and then looked at the two older girls and said “Thank you for behaving so nice.” > > The Brat stopped dead, looking amazed. Her mother picked up on it and said “I told you people notice how you’re behaving in public.” I responded “Yes, and those two girls are behaving properly.” > > The Brat became The Angel, behaving right and telling me “Thank you.” > > I hope she learned her lesson. I don’t want to get sexist or anything but I think that girls can be raised with a bit less discipline than boys. They just seem to pick up on social cues faster and have more empathy. I think there is real difference between boys and girls. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/67 "2017-01-18T23:08:39Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Yes, because adults and children are different. I also believe that kids (especially young kids) deserve different consequences for their actions than adults and their actions should be viewed differently. Call me crazy, but there you go. > > I’m not sure about this “virtue signaling” stuff, but I simply believe that calling kids rude names is a lousy thing to do. By your definition any criticism of another person is holier than thou posturing, and that’s just ridiculous. I never said you can’t criticize the child’s actions, keep your kid away from him, be annoyed at the parents. Just don’t look like a schmuck calling a 7 year old an asshole. You can do whatever you want, but why you’d want to that is beyond me. > > Anyway, I’ve said my peace, and I’m done here. Keep on keeping on, big guy. Well, I guess I’m edgy that way. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/68 "2017-01-18T23:57:37Z")
> [@Maurie](#): > > I do think “asshole” and “bully” are different, but even still, he doesn’t describe a bully here. We have one example of a _three year old_ having a physical altercation with a kid who he seemed to think had something of his. If you’re referring to the boy in the shoe store, I think he was about 8 years old, and he was also upset because he couldn’t take that truck home with him. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/69 "2017-01-19T13:48:18Z")
> [@Maurie](#): > > Yes, I absolutely believe that. There is a world of difference between reacting poorly to a situation in the heat of the moment and making a choice to be an unkind person. Wait, do you think most asshole made a conscious decision to be an asshole? :smack: OK, so I know a shitload of people who are assholes. They work 60-80 hours a week under a lot of pressure. Then they quit and go work a much lower pressure job and suddenly they are normal decent human beings. Those people were assholes as a result of the stress they were under rather than because of a conscious decision to be an unkind person, but they were STILL assholes. > [@](#): > > One of these things is not like the other… It’s a funny flavour of empathy that can be retroactively rescinded. I can imagine retroactively rescinding empathy when the underlying assumptions that triggered the empathy turn out to be incorrect. But that’s not exactly what happened here. I just ran out of patience with the kid. > [@](#): > > You keep saying this to anyone who disagrees with your assertion, and it’s baffling. I taught in an elementary school for 10 years, have two kids of my own, and coach and volunteer plenty. I’ve seen a kid or two, thanks, and not once have I ever seen one I would consider an asshole. Honestly, if anyone sounds like they don’t have a clue about children, it’s you. You come across as someone who was lucky enough to have a reasonably easy kid and now sit on a high horse assuming that you and your son are superior to anyone who finds themselves in a different situation. Where the fuck do you live? I’ve got to move there. This kid is probably not unique in this area. But the other assholes I know about, I only know by reputation, I have not had the opportunity to observe them for most of their lives that I have had with this particular asshole. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is entirely possible for this kid to grow out of being an asshole but based on his behaviour at the moment, he’s an asshole. > [@](#): > > Because he is 7 years old and doesn’t know how (or isn’t able) to behave in the way people expect a 7 year old to behave, which is resulting in the kind of unhappiness no little kid should have to deal with. Your child does not have that life, so yes, he is more fortunate. Unhappy child? What because my kid won’t have a playdate with him? That’s the sort of unhappiness that no child should have to deal with? Wow, you must have had a fucking magical childhood, if you think that is an unbearable unhappiness. > [@](#): > > That really says it all. You are apparently the ultimate authority of what is and isn’t age-appropriate development, and it’s that kind of arrogance and intolerance that probably leads to your inability to separate the child from some behavioural problems. In this case the behavioural problem is that the kid is an asshole. I thought I already mentioned that the school psychologist doesn’t seem to think he has a psychological problem that requires counseling. > [@](#): > > Why the fuck would you make your son think that another human being is acceptable? Really? Well I think the default is that others are acceptable. This kid and his behaviour is an exception. > [@](#): > > _Because he is a human being_. That seems obvious to most of us. I totally agree that he is a human being. Can you cite where I contest that he is a member of our species? I don’t understand wtf you are even trying to say here? > [@](#): > > You keep missing the part where nobody is asking you to find the child’s _behaviour_ acceptable. But yeah, teaching your kid that the _kid_ is worthy of some patience is kind of _what people do_. We’ve known him for YEARS. “Some patience” ran out after the first year or so. > [@](#): > > This is exactly what makes me think you’re not teaching your kid empathy. Having a conversation with him about Little Bobby and why he might act that way, what good attributes he might have, and what being kind to him might do is a normal thing parents do. It is not the same thing as condoning the behaviour or making your kid be his bestie. Why the fuck would I try to excuse that asshole’s behaviour to my kid who independently reached the conclusion that the other kid was an asshole long before I did. > [@](#): > > I don’t know what you mean. I’m not insisting that – I am saying that a 7 year old who isn’t regulating at the level of other kids his age more than likely has a reason for that. It may be that he is not as emotionally mature, it may be that he has a developmental issue, it may be that his parents are not doing their job and he would be delightful had he only been raised by someone as clearly skilled at parenting as you are. It could be any of those things. The only thing I am insisting is that it **isn’t** that he, himself – _a little boy_ - is an asshole. “Regulating?” He has “reasons” for his failure to regulate? Yeah his reason is that he is an asshole. And yes, perhaps he wouldn’t be an asshole if he had a normal parenting philosophy applied to him. But if a kid consistently acts like an asshole over a period of several years, then yes that kid himself IS and asshole. It doesn’t have to be a permanent condition but right now it is his condition. he is an asshole. > [@](#): > > I guess you really haven’t given us enough information to back your parent-damning. You have given us exactly two examples – one from when he was barely out of toddlerhood with no indication of the circumstances surrounding the event or the parents’ involvement, and another from an in-class situation which should have been handled by the teacher, even if the parent was in fact there. If you want people to stop challenging your premise, you need to support it. I have a hard time believing that you know what involvement the school psychologist does or doesn’t have, though. Either this kid isn’t actually as poorly behaved as you insist, or I assure you there is more going on behind the scenes than you realize. Wait, so you thin k that I am being the asshole for calling this kid the asshole and NOW you think you might need more information? Who is being the asshole here? Now your complaint is that I haven’t given you enough anecdotes? Well shit, let me see… When he is at the pool, he gets whistled at by the lifeguard for dunking a kid from behind. He yells at the lifeguard for blowing the whistle at him. The life guard ejects him from the pool and the kid that he didn’t do anything wrong because he was just playing. He thinks its funny when he chases kids and says he is going to bite them. Everyone thinks he is capable of biting them and they run away. At the beginning of free time when the kids are deciding what to play, he insists that they all play what he wants to play and if they don’t (and sometimes they do), he will start yelling at and insulting the other kids for not doing what he wants them to do and then he will cry and ask why wont they do what i say as if the other kids are toys in his PvE adventure and the game is broken somehow. The reason I know what the school psychologist thinks is because when I am go to read to the kids, that is also the time when the school psychologist takes the kids with issues, (there are two in my kid’s class, one kid is super shy and the other one is hyperactive and only seems to pay attention to you almost by accident, neither of them are assholes). > [@](#): > > This kind of flies in the face of your insistence that there’s nothing wrong with him except poor parenting. If he’s “not just ill-behaved”, if you have never seen any other kid like this, then that should be a red flag that something is not right. Well, as i have been saying, he is pretty epic levels of asshole. If he was just normal levels of asshole I wouldn’t be calling a fucking 7 year old an asshole. > [@](#): > > Another thing you keep throwing around randomly. Do you even know what it means? Well, you are trying to advertise what an awfully good person you are because you are so understanding about kids you have never met. I thought that fell into the realm of virtue signalling. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/70 "2017-01-19T15:10:39Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > Wait, do you think most asshole made a conscious decision to be an asshole? :smack: Quite a few do, yes. I don’t know if “most” since I haven’t bothered take inventory and run statistical calculations. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/71 "2017-01-19T16:56:18Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > If you’re referring to the boy in the shoe store, I think he was about 8 years old, and he was also upset because he couldn’t take that truck home with him. No, they are referring to the boy in the OP. He was three when he knocked someone down. ---
**Author:** ![Maurie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Maurie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maurie)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/72 "2017-01-19T20:45:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Unhappy child? What because my kid won’t have a playdate with him? That’s the sort of unhappiness that no child should have to deal with? Wow, you must have had a fucking magical childhood, if you think that is an unbearable unhappiness. No, unhappy because he is incapable of coping, and that is a really, really hard way to live. > [@](#): > > I totally agree that he is a human being. Can you cite where I contest that he is a member of our species? I don’t understand wtf you are even trying to say here? You asked why the fuck you would teach your kid that there is anything acceptable about this kid. My answer was “Because he is a human being”. As in, his _behaviour_ may not be acceptable, but that is different than _him_ not being acceptable. > [@](#): > > The reason I know what the school psychologist thinks is because when I am go to read to the kids, that is also the time when the school psychologist takes the kids with issues, (there are two in my kid’s class, one kid is super shy and the other one is hyperactive and only seems to pay attention to you almost by accident, neither of them are assholes). No, you know that’s when the school psychologist happens to take those kids. You have no idea what kind of strategies, programming, or behind the scenes work the psychologist is involved in with other kids. > [@](#): > > Well, you are trying to advertise what an awfully good person you are because you are so understanding about kids you have never met. I thought that fell into the realm of virtue signalling. No, that is a motivation you have incorrectly decided to assign to people who think you’re being a bit of a jerk about this. Look, as I mentioned in my first post in this thread, I have a kid with significant behavioural problems. I fully admit that this fact more than likely colours my view of the way you talk about this family. My only motivation in talking to you about other ways to look at the situation is that I know there are people who talk about my family the same way, and I wish that people who do not know everything we go through would not make judgments about us. I’m not trying to look good, I only hoped to give you a different perspective. I clearly have not succeeded, and again, I admit that I am probably taking the whole thing too personally and being overly defensive, so I’ll bow out. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/73 "2017-01-19T23:04:16Z")
> [@Maurie](#): > > No, unhappy because he is incapable of coping, and that is a really, really hard way to live. Every spoiled brat in the world has a hard time coping because their parents have never forced them to learn how to cope. > [@](#): > > You asked why the fuck you would teach your kid that there is anything acceptable about this kid. My answer was “Because he is a human being”. As in, his _behaviour_ may not be acceptable, but that is different than _him_ not being acceptable. Sure, I also try to teach my kid to hate the sin not the sinner but that is a fine distinction to make. I make it all the time when my kid misbehaves and I tell him how much I love him but disapprove of his actions. And the next time, he hopefully improves his behaviour. This kid has been consistently exhibiting shitty behaviour for years now with no noticable improvement and none of the other kids he knows behave this way. He drew his conclusions long before I did. > [@](#): > > No, you know that’s when the school psychologist happens to take those kids. You have no idea what kind of strategies, programming, or behind the scenes work the psychologist is involved in with other kids. So you’re saying that the school psychologist might have diagnosed an issue with this kid, take all the other kids with issues except him? I used to see all these kids once a week, the ones that the psychologist took had some obvious issues (one was very shy and the other one was always distracted). You’re really trying to find a way around occam’s razor aren’t you? > [@](#): > > No, that is a motivation you have incorrectly decided to assign to people who think you’re being a bit of a jerk about this. Look, as I mentioned in my first post in this thread, I have a kid with significant behavioural problems. I fully admit that this fact more than likely colours my view of the way you talk about this family. My only motivation in talking to you about other ways to look at the situation is that I know there are people who talk about my family the same way, and I wish that people who do not know everything we go through would not make judgments about us. I’m not trying to look good, I only hoped to give you a different perspective. I clearly have not succeeded, and again, I admit that I am probably taking the whole thing too personally and being overly defensive, so I’ll bow out. Does your kid have an actual diagnosed, clinical issue? Then you have my sympathies. It must be tough, it would break my heart if my kid had those issues. But if your kid is just a spoiled fucking brat then I blame you. I’m off to cub scouts tonight. You have inspired me to go ahead and risk offending this kid’s parents ask if there is something going on with their kid. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2017, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/74 "2017-01-20T02:58:00Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Plus, you have no idea what kids I’ve met. I’ve been a scout leader, volunteered doing science enrichment in early elementary school classrooms for years, ran kindergarten playgroups. I generally don’t care for a lot of ill behaved kids and I’ve had to deal with them. It would never dawned on me to call them names like you bandy about with such glee. > > You’re the edgy guy speaking truth by calling a little an asshole. No. He’s just trolling. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2017, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/75 "2017-01-21T06:41:54Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > I’m off to cub scouts tonight. You have inspired me to go ahead and risk offending this kid’s parents ask if there is something going on with their kid. So, did you? Inquiring minds want to know. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2017, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/76 "2017-01-22T21:25:04Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > So, did you? Inquiring minds want to know. Nothing clinical. He now recognizes that his son’s behaviour cannot be explained away by saying “he’s a boy” now that he sees his son in the context of 50 other boys at cub scout meetings. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984/77 "2017-01-24T03:52:28Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > You might try talking to them about the problem and suggest to them that they put their kid in a traditional martial arts class (not MMA). The constant emphasis on discipline and focus will do wonders for the kid. Martial arts can do wonders for some kids. You sound exactly like the type sensei I’m trying to find for one of my kids. Alas, finding the right instructor and school isn’t easy. And I’ve got a child on the autism spectrum. Damuri, hate to say this, but you’re probably correct this kid is a jerk and the parents aren’t doing all they should. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-asshole-kid-with-the-cool-dad/776984.md?page=3)