# The assholes who pretend to have corona. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 25, 2020, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283 "2020-03-25T22:45:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/21 "2020-03-27T04:31:20Z")
Hey, she can be shunned instead. But with social distancing right now, how will she know? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/22 "2020-03-27T04:56:34Z")
Moved to the Pit. Colibri Quarantine Zone Moderator ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/23 "2020-03-27T05:32:34Z")
Hopefully these morons will catch the virus when they’re in prison, in close proximity with each other. ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/24 "2020-03-27T05:52:40Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Hopefully these morons will catch the virus when they’re in prison, in close proximity with each other. They can always be volunteered to test risky therapies. Calling Doctor Benway! Jails and prisons are viral petri dishes; some are already releasing less violent inmates. I guess that leaves more room for corona-fakers - if not in cells, then chained to flagpoles outside. Lick THAT, fool! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/25 "2020-03-27T06:05:26Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Why do people make videos of themselves committing crimes then post them on YouTube? It’'s one of those stupid social media “challenges”, apparently. Cough on someone and film it. They don’t “win” unless they post it. Hopefully what they “win” is jail time. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/26 "2020-03-27T09:20:06Z")
Who \*are \*these idiots? I’m so afraid to touch faces, my clocks are still on standard time! ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/27 "2020-03-27T13:13:04Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Who \*are \*these idiots? I’m so afraid to touch faces, my clocks are still on standard time! Ba da _bing_! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/28 "2020-03-27T13:26:44Z")
Wanna know what’s worse? Coronavirus is often asymptomatic. So some of these idiots might actually have it, and just not know. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/29 "2020-03-27T13:35:11Z")
My spouse teaches at a university-level institution. Unsurprisingly, at least one student has called in with the “I can’t come to class today - I’ve got coronavirus” excuse. Also unsurprisingly, once told what sort of notifications, testing and paperwork would be involved if he genuinely believed himself to have the coronavirus, the illness was miraculously transmuted to “just a cold”. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/30 "2020-03-27T13:43:45Z")
Remind me again why it’s wrong to think that some people _need_ killing. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/31 "2020-03-27T13:43:54Z")
“Come to class”… I never thought these words would make me weep with nostalgia. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Kovitlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kovitlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kovitlac)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/32 "2020-03-27T15:56:54Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Why do people make videos of themselves committing crimes then post them on YouTube? > > This was going on before covid-19 and makes absolutely zero sense from the viewpoint of the lawbreakers. I suppose we should be grateful that they’re willing to publicly post proof of their misdeeds but why? > > And yes, they need to throw the book at these idiots who are licking produce etc. Examples need to be made. We cannot tolerate this kind of behavior right now. I’m willing to bet a fair number of them don’t believe they’re committing a crime. They believe they’re not infected, and since they (in their minds) aren’t putting anyone in actual danger, they can’t possibly be arrested. They’re too stupid and cocky to realize that there are tons of laws in the books against inciting panic, or that just because they feel fine doesn’t mean they aren’t infected, so they can get charged with actually putting people in danger. I particularly loive the fuckwad who boasts about how he’s tested and is super positive yo, but totally asymptomatic… Like, bro, people who ARE suffering symptoms have a hard enough time getting tested. You’re unlikely to get tested at all unless you’re in the hospital. I laughed when I read that he actually claimed to be asymptomatic, yet tested. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but highly, HIGHLY unlikely. Lots of people may not realize that though, and it still doesn’t make what he did any less dangerous or fucked up. I hope every single one of these people is charged with the absolute max level, and made an example of. I don’t really care if they think everyone is exaggerating - they have zero right to deliberately terrify people, OR put them at risk. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/33 "2020-03-27T16:51:07Z")
> [@Kovitlac](#): > > I particularly loive the fuckwad who boasts about how he’s tested and is super positive yo, but totally asymptomatic… Like, bro, people who ARE suffering symptoms have a hard enough time getting tested. You’re unlikely to get tested at all unless you’re in the hospital. I laughed when I read that he actually claimed to be asymptomatic, yet tested. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but highly, HIGHLY unlikely. Lots of people may not realize that though, and it still doesn’t make what he did any less dangerous or fucked up. I think he is the 31-year-old one who–in an apology post I can no longer find–said that they don’t watch TV in his house and he only knew about the virus from social media and didn’t realize it was serious, so could you please leave me and my family alone now. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/34 "2020-03-27T17:04:22Z")
I like that at least some of these people are facing terrorism charges. That is absolutely what this is. This is the equivalent of putting unexploded ordnance in a public place and then calling in a bomb scare. It doesn’t matter if they think they are making a harmless prank; they are potentially scaring people away from doing something essential like buying food, causing large amounts of property damage, and they may be inadvertently infecting food for real since the disease can be asymptomatic. (Hence the unexploded ordnance analogy, it may actually have the potential to blow up.) If enough people serve hard time and this is made public, maybe it will dissuade other morons from repeating it. They are being terrorists whether they mean to or not. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/35 "2020-03-27T17:05:43Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > #1, coronavirus is NOT the reason you shouldn’t lick toilet seats, and #2, #2 IS the reason you shouldn’t lick toilet seats. > > These people should be publicly executed. Or sterilized, at the very least. I realize there is a terrible pandemic; however, I can’t think of a more appropriate punishment than just letting the toilet seat-licker spend the rest of her life with that as her moniker and leave it as that. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/36 "2020-03-27T17:37:23Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I realize there is a terrible pandemic; however, I can’t think of a more appropriate punishment than just letting the toilet seat-licker spend the rest of her life with that as her moniker and leave it as that. Something tells me, licking toilet seats is probably not the worst thing she’s done or likely to do in her life. Poor judgement is often a recurring personal issue. ---
**Author:** ![Kovitlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kovitlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kovitlac)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/37 "2020-03-27T19:47:26Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > I think he is the 31-year-old one who–in an apology post I can no longer find–said that they don’t watch TV in his house and he only knew about the virus from social media and didn’t realize it was serious, so could you please leave me and my family alone now. Oh good Lord. I don’t have TV either, but even I can be damned sure the pandemic is something to take very, very seriously. It’s not like news about it is floating around EVERYWHERE online :rolleyes: Hell, I’m getting emails about it from my car insurance, the dealership, a cruiseline we booked for 2021 and a dentist I haven’t seen in 10+ years. I really, really hate this guy and all his lame excuses. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/38 "2020-03-27T19:58:51Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Remind me again why it’s wrong to think that some people _need_ killing. The virus is taking care of that for us now. The problem is it has really terrible aim. > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I realize there is a terrible pandemic; however, I can’t think of a more appropriate punishment than just letting the toilet seat-licker spend the rest of her life with that as her moniker and leave it as that. It worked wonders for [Dog Poop Girl](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_poop_girl). ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/39 "2020-03-27T20:25:03Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > My spouse teaches at a university-level institution. Unsurprisingly, at least one student has called in with the “I can’t come to class today - I’ve got coronavirus” excuse. > > Also unsurprisingly, once told what sort of notifications, testing and paperwork would be involved if he genuinely believed himself to have the coronavirus, the illness was miraculously transmuted to “just a cold”. Our classes have been moved to On-line mode for over two weeks now, because my university considers it highly dangerous to get a bunch of students crammed together into a classroom. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283/40 "2020-03-27T20:32:05Z")
> [@Kovitlac](#): > > Oh good Lord. I don’t have TV either, but even I can be damned sure the pandemic is something to take very, very seriously. It’s not like news about it is floating around EVERYWHERE online :rolleyes: Hell, I’m getting emails about it from my car insurance, the dealership, a cruiseline we booked for 2021 and a dentist I haven’t seen in 10+ years. > > I really, really hate this guy and all his lame excuses. Okay, I went digging for the apology site again and saw that it was a screenshot in the original story I linked (embarrassed emoji.) I OCRed that, here it is in text: > [@](#): > > 704\_bully\_icon “MESSAGE“ To all of you who have seen, heard & reacted to my video over the weekend. I would like to apologize to you especially the elderly, the @albemarIepolicedepartment who responded to this incident, and all those who where scared. I want to say sorry, I am sincerely sorry I acted very foolishly, stupidly and during a uneasy time not only for our community but for the world. Everyone that knows me knows it wasn’t serious, they know it wasn’t meant to hurt or instill fear in anyone. I’ve never taken This virus seriously at all and we don’t watch television at our home so our knowledge of the world doest reach farther then social media and for that I apologize, I been looking into this virus and I see now the world of hurt it is causing our communities especially italy right now. I know my travel history may have been what had a lot of you on edge and I and very remorseful and regret doing this it was poor judgement and just plain stupidity. I’ve yet to show any symptom I haven’t in the slightest thought at any time I was actually sick. Like I said I cannot say it enough but I am sincerely sorry. Although I didn’t know whether I was sick or not and even though I still am not sick I want to say I apologize for the amount of stress I’ve put on those involved all of those who have came into contact with me from the different police agencies and their officers, to my magistrate the the officers who booked me in, my bondsman and all the friends and family in between that have reached out to me and all of the employees, neighbors and those who’ve been on edge be of my actions, please understand I am truly sorry. Not only am I sorry to the community I’ve put this stress on but also to my family the amount of HATE messages and THREATENING messages they are receiving on my account is unbearable please understand that two wrongs do not make a right, I messed up not them. I’ve also seen celebrities such as @casanova\_2x and @rudygobert27 act in a similar manner down to local teenagers in Virgina coughing on fruit, I want to expresss that this is not a trend this is not acceptable please I do not condone these actions please know I was wrong. I’m betting this guy owns at least one red baseball cap. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-assholes-who-pretend-to-have-corona/850283.md?page=3)