# The Attention Ho Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2004, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621 "2004-06-22T13:32:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/61 "2004-06-23T16:11:52Z")
> [@Really Not All That Bright](#): > > _runs nekkid thru thread_ **punha** is going to kill me ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/62 "2004-06-23T16:18:09Z")
I thought I would wander in and remind you amateurs that a true attention whore does not restrict themselves to one thread or even one forum. **Wanders blithely out of thread, sure that all the pretenders will follow in her wake, attempting to imitate her unmatched attention whorishness** ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/63 "2004-06-23T16:34:43Z")
THTHTTHTHTTHTTHTHTHTPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTT! 😛 just making sure you don’t forget about me! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/64 "2004-06-23T16:48:21Z")
The colors are lovely, the coding skills are impressive, and the mild ho-fights have been amusing. Think for a moment, however, about the legendary Attention Ho’s who have flamed across these boards with the heat of the loins of a thousand Bill Clintons. They have not feared scorn and contempt; rather, they have unhesitatingly spewed forth annoying, insane and outrageous words for the single purpose of _ **not being ignored.** _ Preview is not their friend, as it delays for precious seconds the appearance of their brilliant words before the masses. Their typos live on long after they are gone. Contestants, the competition is fierce, and it is made difficult by the lack of codependent posters. Each of you needs to seriously ask yourself, “What will it take to make this thread _all about me?”_ **robgruver:** Nice use of a misspelled word in large underlined type. And cute puppy. Isn’t it possible that the puppy actually only has one eye because your alcoholic mother maimed the puppy to punish you for wetting the bed when you were distressed about a Bush policy decision? And in retrospect don’t you agree that maiming pets is a just and effective punishment for bed wetting? P.S. I see that the competition has heated up while I was offline composing this post. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/65 "2004-06-23T16:58:10Z")
You see? **Harmless** acknowledges my superior attention whorishness with her raspberry. She knows that she can never hope to outshine the glory that is me. I do not need bolding or colors. I know you set this thread up specifically for me, **lanaif**. I will allow you to lavish your praise on me now. I will even allow you to change your name to the spelling I used; I like it better, anyway. After all, this thread IS all about me. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/66 "2004-06-23T17:16:18Z")
> [@lainaf](#): > > Each of you needs to seriously ask yourself, “What will it take to make this thread _all about me?”_ Actually, **I** see absolutely no need to ask such things. It should be quite obvious to everyone that this thread, like all things, already _is_ all about **me**. Frankly, **I’m** quite surprised that this thread is still open. There really is no competition here. While some may play around in a charming (but ultimately feeble) attempt to emulate **my** greatness, you all still spend your days with the [theme song](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4993676&postcount=34) **I** graced you with running through your heads. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/67 "2004-06-23T17:18:31Z")
**Maureen,** I’ve considered changing my user name, although not to what you suggest, which is just stupid, as you’d realize if you stopped contemplating your navel long enough to go read all my previous posts. What does everyone think: should I change my username? Oh wait… I’m not in this competition. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/68 "2004-06-23T17:24:00Z")
Ok, time to get serious. : pantses **lainaf** : : pantses **Ethilrist** : : pantses **AngelicGemma** : : pantses **Hal Briston** : : pantses **swampbear** : : pantses **Kallessa** : : pantses **flamingbananas** : : pantses **earthpuppy** : : pantses **Tupug Anachi** : : pantses **Rufus Xavier** : : pantses **harmless** : woopsie! 😛 : repantses : : pantses **SanguineSpider** : : pantses **torie** : : pantses **Ponder Stibbons** : : pantses **Chimpy** : : pantses **SolGrundy** : : pantses **stately plump buck mulligan** : : pantses **pontia** : : pantses **OldBroad** : : pantses **emekthian** : : pantses **TheOnlySaneOne** : : pantses **Picasso Feet** : : pantses **Exgineer** : : pantses **Master Wang-Ka** : : pantses **robgruver** : : pantses **Really Not All That Bright** : : pantses **Silver Fire** : : pantses **Seeker74** : : pantses **Maureen** : And if any of you want to try to claim you weren’t wearing pants then I’m afraid we’ve just had a horrible accident. Nothing that can’t be fixed with duct tape, though. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/69 "2004-06-23T17:26:17Z")
> [@torie](#): > > [LOOK AT ME!!!](http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/toriepretty/detail?.dir=/5f7f&.dnm=6347.jpg) > > [LOOK AT ME!!](http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/toriepretty/detail?.dir=/8f18&.dnm=cd6d.jpg) > > [LOOK AT ME!!!](http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/toriepretty/detail?.dir=/5f7f&.dnm=f378.jpg) I think we should all pay attention to the girl with the biggest TATS! [SIZE=1]Of COURSE I spelled it right! [/SIZE] **. . .and to ME for being the GREAT PUNSTER!** ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/70 "2004-06-23T17:30:40Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > While some may play around in a charming (but ultimately feeble) attempt to emulate **my** greatness, you all still spend your days with the [theme song](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4993676&postcount=34) **I** graced you with running through your heads. Oh, I thought you meant this theme song: **Hal** is my pal, He don’t go by Sal, he drinks beer by the dal, while dressing like a gal he’s a lil’ smarter than chaparral ‘cause he keeps his elbow out of his ear canal But by any rationale, **Hal** is my pal! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/71 "2004-06-23T17:30:51Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > : pantses **Maureen** : _tsk_… there, there, dear. I understand your wanting to “be with me” (after all, who wouldn’t?), but I’m not in the mood just now. Why don’t you run off and get me some grapes? If you’re a good girl, I’ll let you feed them to me. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/72 "2004-06-23T17:32:35Z")
> [@DesertGeezer](#): > > I think we should all pay attention to the girl with the biggest TATS! > [SIZE=1]Of COURSE I spelled it right! > [/SIZE] > **. . .and to ME for being the GREAT PUNSTER!** When did you sneak in? :dubious: : pantses **DesertGeezer** so they won’t feel left out : ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/73 "2004-06-23T17:34:16Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > _tsk_… there, there, dear. I understand your wanting to “be with me” (after all, who wouldn’t?), but I’m not in the mood just now. Why don’t you run off and get me some grapes? If you’re a good girl, I’ll let you feed them to me. If _you’re_ a good girl, I might not bite you. 😃 \<----chomp, chomp! Unless that’s just your thing, cheeky monkey you! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/74 "2004-06-23T18:06:59Z")
And look how everyone has stopped talking to pay attention to ME (and, ok, you too, a little, **harmless** ). They are our hopeless thralls. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/75 "2004-06-23T18:26:16Z")
**Maureen** is the queen with a wit so keen she looks to the computer screen for a bit a wisdom she’ll glean while she drinks caffeine surfing for the obscene but only finds cuisine that features the green bean. She jumps on the trampoline fighting off a wolverine, she ponders becoming a marine thinking it would be it would be serene to live in a submarine but she’d then feel like a sardine surrounded by all that saline. Or sumpthin’. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/76 "2004-06-23T18:31:49Z")
And before any of you wisenhiemers point out flaws, I meant to do that, :wally 's ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/77 "2004-06-23T18:51:53Z")
I AM AND ATTENTION HO BECAUSE… I’M AN ONLY CHILD - MY PARENTS GOT IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME! MY PARENTS WERE RAGING ALKIES - A DEFINATE PRE-REQUISIT FOR A.H. STATUS I GOT PICKED ON IN SCHOOL - A DEFINATE RESULT OF A.H. STATUS I USED TO BE ON THE CHURCH DRAMA TEAM - ANY STAGE, ANY TIME! I SANG KAROKE AT THE BURNABY HOTEL, COLD SOBER - AND LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT! I ONCE WORE A BLACK LEATHER MINISKIRT TO A BIKER PARTY - AND MADE IT OUT ALIVE! I GOT UP DURING THE OPEN MICROPHONE PART OF A FUNERAL AND CRACKED THE PLACE UP WITH A SMART ASS COMMENT ABOUT THE DECEASED. TWICE. I WROTE A BOOK AND A HALF, SO FAR, AND I MAKE DARN SURE EVERYONE KNOWS IT! I RAN AWAY WITH A ROCK STAR. (OKAY, IT WAS JUST A LOCAL BAND.) I COULD GO ON AND ON. I USUALLY _DO_ GO ON AND ON, BUT ULTIMATELY MY A.H. 'NESS CAN BE MEASURED IN ONE SIMPLE SENTENCE … I AM A DOPER!!! ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/78 "2004-06-23T19:01:38Z")
Bravissima!! Bella, bella!! _wipes tear from her eye and looks longingly at her coffee mug, which nowadays only containes decaf_ ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/79 "2004-06-23T19:07:53Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Bravissima!! Bella, bella!! _wipes tear from her eye and looks longingly at her coffee mug, which nowadays only containes decaf_ :smack: Now I have to start all over. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621/80 "2004-06-23T19:14:45Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Bravissima!! Bella, bella!! _wipes tear from her eye and looks longingly at her coffee mug, which nowadays only containes decaf_ Uh, bravissima who? Of course you HAVE to be referring to my post, but… but… but… Oh, the heck with modesty… OF COURSE SHE MEANT ME!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-attention-ho-thread/251621.md?page=5)