# The Backward Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320 "2005-04-01T23:00:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/83 "2005-04-04T16:08:03Z")
You know, if you guys keep using the word “dipshit”, it’s going to take over this thread! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/84 "2005-04-04T16:11:15Z")
I wonder when that dipshit **Ponder Stibbons** is gonna show up and make one of his dipshit announcements that have nothing to do with this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/85 "2005-04-04T16:34:10Z")
I, for one, think it’s about time to release the herrings on Tarelton. Dipshits, indeed! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/86 "2005-04-04T16:45:33Z")
Speaking of words you don’t hear often enough, what about dipshit? I haven’t heard that one since June 27, 1998. How 'bout a SDMB campaign to reinstate dipshit as the insult of choice. I’ll start: whoever came up with the previously mentioned use for a watermelon is a real dipshit. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/87 "2005-04-04T16:48:21Z")
You know, if you hollow out a watermelon, you can hold about 2 dozen herrings in it. I’m just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/88 "2005-04-04T16:57:15Z")
I hardly ever hear the word “echolalia” in conversational use. [Totally Off Topic] We had some great watermelon last night after dinner. Which is odd because it’s a bit early or late in the season for it, depending on whether the source is North or South America. [/TOT] ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/89 "2005-04-04T16:57:41Z")
I see what you’re saying, but to get the _most_ bang for your buck in a food fight, I say you go with the double-food projectile. Basically, it’s just a matter of one food inside another. For example, beaning someone with eggs is one thing, but if you stick those eggs inside an overripe canteloupe, well, _there’s_ a reason to duck… …and _enough already_ with the subliminal messages, people!! (yes, I’m looking at you, **harmless**!) ---
**Author:** ![SiouxChief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@SiouxChief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiouxChief)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/90 "2005-04-04T17:05:05Z")
Look, all I said was that IF Clinton owned a goat farm, that’s something he’d LIKELY do. If you’ve got a problem with me, take it to the pit. I’m not the one that turned this into a political thread anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/91 "2005-04-04T17:11:28Z")
**SiouxChief** , what on earth was that all about? I shudder to think what goes on in that mind of yours. I hope you’ve got a cite for that, or is this just more unsubstantiated ramblings? My personal favourite, btw, is still the custard pie - fantastic range, ease of use, and of course, maximum splatter. The only danger is collateral damage - which in a food fight situation, is pretty much a given anyway. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/92 "2005-04-04T17:17:37Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#): > > To me, nothing says food fight like a good ol’ fashioned pumpkin upside the head. Yeah, well a pumpkin pie does pack a lot of bang for the buck in a food fight but for maximum coverage nothing beats one of those congealed snot green Hell-O molds. Man, people live in fear of being splatted with those! ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/93 "2005-04-04T17:32:32Z")
I’ve lost track. Was it the _mice_ who started the food fight or the _mongoose_? And I thought we’d heard the last of > [@bras0978](#): > > When come back bring pie. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/94 "2005-04-04T17:32:52Z")
> [@bras0978](#): > > …and there I was, utterly covered in foodstuff, from tip to kiester. What sort of dipshit uses a tennis ball launcher and a 2-stroke engine for that sort of thing?!? ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/95 "2005-04-04T17:34:52Z")
And what _was_ the pork loin doing next to the hydraulic pump!?? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/96 "2005-04-04T17:43:43Z")
All right! I’ve stolen ShibbOleth’s RoboGoat Mark V. He claims it isn’t working, but I’m sure I can fix it with a little 10w40 and bourbon. To make sure he doesn’t come looking for it, I’ll leave him with a post-hypnotic suggestion to go on and on about melons. Now I’ll be safe no matter where I go. Unless. . . nah! I’m sure nothing distracted him while he was building it. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/97 "2005-04-04T17:46:38Z")
.sdrolrevo thispid wen ruo emoclew eno for ,I ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/98 "2005-04-04T17:48:24Z")
_flirts outrageously with everyone_ _slaps **swampbear** with a wet trout_ ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/99 "2005-04-04T17:50:14Z")
Yes, I _know_ its primary purpose is initiation threads, but damnit, the RoboGoat Mark V is my invention, and since the previous four RG’s have been…errrr…less than successful, I’m testing this one out in here! I figure I can at least use its hydro-cannons to clean up these food-fight remnants. Just gotta kick the hydraulic pump into high gear, and… \ Yeeeeehaw! Lookit that sucker go! Looks like Mark V is a complete succ…errrrr…why is it smoking? \ Augh! Ok, which one of you dipshits thought pork loin was appropriate for a food fight?? The damn thing got sucked into the hydraulic pump, and now…\…now look at my beautiful RoboGoat! Blown into a bajillion pieces (again)! Ah well…I’ll clean it up later… ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/100 "2005-04-04T18:04:16Z")
Well, if you really must pry, it was an old foodfight injury. You see, we’d been preparing our weaponry all day, looking forward to an almighty food fest. With hindsight, I can see that I’d gone a bit over the top, but in secret I’d knocked up a “vegetable bazooka” using some old tennis equipment. Still, the evening came, and we all went into the “mess hall” for the big occasion. Things started slowly, a few lightly tossed bread rolls and a piece of celery in the ear. Nothing major. Then, hiding behind the dessert trolley I made my way slowly to the broomcupboard, where I’d hidden my weapon of choice. I sprang up, and let fly a volley of aubergine and corgette - they splattered with tremendous effect all over my opponents. I then moved on to the tomatoes… oh… the tomatoes… it was poetry in motion. Rapid fire blazing a red fury on my opponents. Shortly, I ran out of ammo. Thinking quickly (or so I thought), I topped up the ammo chamber with a huge bowl of trifle that had been on the dessert trolley. I wound the old moped engine up to full throttle, and let rip. Nothing happened. There was a groaning noise from my bazooka, and I realised it must be jammed with a stuck potato or similar. Like a fool I peered down the nozzle to see what the problem was, and yes - you guessed it - it worked itself loose. The bazooka flew out of my hands, and was wildly uncontrollable. When my co-combatants dared lift the dessert trolley from me, they found a broken bazooka, and there I was, utterly covered in foodstuff, from tip to kiester. Man, I’ve never walked the same since then. I now know the true meaning of “when come back, bring pie”. I take comfort from the fact that I’m not the only sufferer of such an injury, **squeegee** , I hope that you recover (eventually). I do have one question though - how did the Rabbi react to all of this commotion? Surely he must’ve suspected something? ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/101 "2005-04-04T18:07:05Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > …time to bring out the RoboGoat Mark V! Are you sure? That’s intended for initiation threads only, you know. And after the mess the mice made of that mongoose, I think it’s high time we left the animals (be they Robo- or no) to their own devices. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320/102 "2005-04-04T18:10:06Z")
applause. Brilliant [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-backward-thread/297320.md?page=6)