# The bad poetry thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 7, 2004, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965 "2004-03-07T09:07:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/21 "2004-03-09T07:04:27Z")
I like to write bad poetry I like it very much It’s fun to make the reader sigh And give his head a clutch! And shake his fist and scream and cry And call me dirty names In fact, to write bad poetry’s My very favorite game! Enjoy! ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/22 "2004-03-09T07:40:12Z")
_From the extensive total your tree it surpassses evening on hill snow-covered arrangement internal_ thought that it knew the forest, a person if those are he. I … but how much for him it is that the house in the village the east? It did not consider that, me the end stops that it observes here that the forest is completely and snow. How much for my small horse? if so that very quickly the forest while it is solidified in that one with the sea that does not have the farmer, the strange year of the shock absorber of shock of the remuneration is the darkest urgent thought of the substance. It gives vibriert that the bell of whips of the control the end, to ask if the disturbance has. The only other the fine clay of the degree of the layers of the crane simple of the substance and like the crude cotton to consider. The forest is pretty, is dark and is deeply deep. Before nevertheless how much for me the dream in me, I dream, I enter before the owner is he the thousands, he maintains to the promise and the thousands. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/23 "2004-03-09T07:44:17Z")
"For what is life but a bowl of pain? A bowl of pain. A bowl of pain." (Not mine; 100 NetPoints for those who know whose it is.) ---
**Author:** ![Hoops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoops/32/6408_2.png) [@Hoops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoops)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/24 "2004-03-09T08:24:30Z")
O thou Bagel, Doughnut of the mountains! How to worship thee? With creamkeys . . . _or with locks?_ ---
**Author:** ![Cruktar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d9b06d/32.png) [@Cruktar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cruktar)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/25 "2004-03-09T08:31:24Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Seven** …_ > I love bad poetry when everyone knows it is bad. But, when the author doesn’t know it stinks, things get tricky. Do you laugh? Cry? Kick them? That was our dilemma in a nutshell. Actually, when Holly asked if they were ‘stupid,’ the bf summed it up nicely with: “Well…they may be badly written…but they’re not _stupid_…” The best thing about it was that he thought he was being very diplomatic…I just sat there with my jaw hanging open for the longest time. I love your addendums to this fated-to-be-a-classic poem, btw. I think I’ll suggest that to Holly if I ever see her again. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/26 "2004-03-09T11:37:27Z")
**Ludovic** : That is horrid. I love it. Well done. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/27 "2004-03-09T11:41:28Z")
My brother graced the world with the following, and for that I salute him: **Women** Women come in shapes and sizes In their pants they keep surprises In their tops they keep their tits Oh, how I love those women’s bits ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/28 "2004-03-09T20:43:00Z")
Its funny how you can mangle a famous poem through babelfish a dozen times and its still better than most angsty teenagers. I feel like babelfishing some more classics. ---
**Author:** ![cichlidiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@cichlidiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cichlidiot)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/29 "2004-03-09T23:06:39Z")
> [@Hoops](#): > > With creamkeys . . . > > _or with locks?_ This was awful and wonderful at the same time, I salute you! Now you can share my shame. I sent this poem to a crush, not to necessarily woo him, but I am blushing right now just reading it. Skin The human skin? Why, it’s amazin’! You get a stain - it’ll wash in the rain ('course it’s not the same). Burn it, peel it grow some more. You can scrape some off of the guy next door. Tattoo it, pierce it if you have the cash. That’s what cousin Joey did - too bad he got that rash. Yup, it’s amazin’ all right just stop and think awhile, I think I’ll go out in my birthday suit - who says I don’t have style? ---
**Author:** ![punkkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@punkkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/punkkid)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/30 "2004-03-09T23:12:18Z")
A poem for you all, extra points if you know whose it is: Pollution All around Sometimes up Sometime down But always Around Pollution Are you coming to my town? Or am I coming to yours? We’re on different busses, pollution But we both use petrol …bombs. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/31 "2004-03-09T23:27:05Z")
Bathroom Triptych I. My grouting’s gone all fuzzy And I don’t know what I will do. I thought at first that it was dirt But now I think it’s mildew. II. I do not like my toilet brush; I like it not one bit. Although it cleans the toilet well, Just how do I clean it? For after every usage In its holder it will sit, And in its bristles will be stuck Those little globs of poop. III. They’re in the sink, they’re in the tub, They’re on the floor and chairs, And over everything I see Are tiny little hairs. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/32 "2004-03-10T00:03:07Z")
> [@TitoBenito](#): > > Its funny how you can mangle a famous poem through babelfish a dozen times and its still better than most angsty teenagers. I feel like babelfishing some more classics. Oh good plan. Better poetry through technology. Here we go. The lyrics of Styx’s “Come Sail Away” babelfished from English to French to English to German to English to Italian to English. The results are stunningly bad poetry. > [@](#): > > The segele far away, > it has regulated an open course for the pure sea. > I must be liberations, liberations, > confront the life that before that me to edge of, > > I am a captain, > I raise them therefore to edge. > We try that matti some on every series. > And I examine, getlteman of the OH -, > I try to continue. > > I observe my memory with the sea, > reflections in the spark of vague. > Determined fortunate, > a sad part. > > Task to the friends of infancy and the dreams, > that we have had. > We live fortunately always, > therefore it is said. > > But we have lacked the sense or other exteriors on this POT the gold. > But we examine more best, that we conserve for being continues to you. > A reunion of the angels has appeared over my head. > They have sung this song of hope me and are this those have said. > > They have said that the sail far away, > comes to veil > comes to veil > far away far with me comes. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/33 "2004-03-10T09:11:57Z")
> [@punkkid](#): > > A poem for you all, extra points if you know whose it is: It sounds like it might be by Rik from the Young Ones. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/34 "2004-03-10T20:50:08Z")
Peanut butter, Bread and jelly Is so yummy In my belly But digested Is quite smelly. ---
**Author:** ![punkkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@punkkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/punkkid)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965/35 "2004-03-10T21:26:11Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > It sounds like it might be by Rik from the Young Ones. Correct! I assume I owe you a Coke or something… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bad-poetry-thread/232965.md?page=1)