# The Bash 'GOD' Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162 "2007-04-08T04:56:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/21 "2007-04-08T07:04:56Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] But I promise I’ll walk him, and feed him, and brush him and give him water everyday!! Can I have one? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? Huhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!?!?!?!?!?!? I promise I’ll be good. \ [/QUOTE] Thats what our daughter said when she wanted a puppy…since she was soooo lonley being at home. She got the puppy 4 days later we find the puppy chewing on a used condom… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/22 "2007-04-08T07:06:51Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] But I promise I’ll walk him, and feed him, and brush him and give him water everyday!! Can I have one? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? Huhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!?!?!?!?!?!? I promise I’ll be good. \ [/QUOTE] (Stern Look) Well ok, you can have a pony. But, young lady, I swear… ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/23 "2007-04-08T07:24:11Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] As is my habit, I was only dealing in actual entities such as the [Guaranteed Overnight Delivery](http://www.blwnscale.com/blwphotos/blw-ptrlr-god.jpg) trucking company (Eastern U.S.). [/QUOTE] Well, rain on my parade then. It took me ten minutes to think that up, dammit. Especially since I have never heard of that company. I thought you were doing a clever play on words there **tom**. I am slightly nonplussed. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/24 "2007-04-08T07:26:43Z")
But, but, but… [Our Bog is Dood](http://www.artofeurope.com/smith/smi5.htm)! ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/25 "2007-04-08T07:28:06Z")
He never calls, He never writes… ---
**Author:** ![Fatwater\_Fewl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@Fatwater\_Fewl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fatwater_Fewl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/26 "2007-04-08T07:36:33Z")
I hear he used creatine. ---
**Author:** ![Chief\_Pedant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/27 "2007-04-08T08:03:20Z")
[QUOTE=crinz83] This thread was created to pit a mythology that is so pervasive in our cultures. Fire away. [/QUOTE] It would be nice if he would have actually created us all equal to make it easier to participate in the Religion of Equality. Plus it woulda been a heck of a lot more fair. ---
**Author:** ![essell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/34f0e0/32.png) [@essell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/essell)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/28 "2007-04-08T08:39:40Z")
I for [one](http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i276/essellburns/Notthatshitagain.jpg) welcome our old deific overlord. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/29 "2007-04-08T08:49:50Z")
[QUOTE=crinz83] Over 5 million posts? OVER 5 MILLION POSTS??? I’m going to do a search. OVER 5 MILLION PREVIOUS POSTS??? Hey, I’m going back to read Mark Twain. If any thoughts of his are similar to mine, I’m going silent. SILENT, MOTHAFUCKA!! [/QUOTE] You say this as though it were a bad thing. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/30 "2007-04-08T08:55:15Z")
[QUOTE=essell] I for [one](http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i276/essellburns/Notthatshitagain.jpg) welcome our old deific overlord. [/QUOTE] That’s not what the Flying Spaghetti Monster looks like. Is it? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/31 "2007-04-08T08:59:30Z")
I’m annoyed about the ballsack. Penes are masculine and impressive (well, mine is, at least 😉 ), but ballsacks just hang around awkwardly and make the whole thing look silly. Especially when you shave off a few too many hairs. For that matter, where are my retractable claws and Spider-Man-style web shooters? I was sure we’d have those by 2005 at the latest. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/32 "2007-04-08T11:21:47Z")
So, I’ve got a question. Can God nuke a burrito till it gets so hot even He cannot eat it? ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/33 "2007-04-08T12:22:17Z")
Bastard owes me twenty bucks! Not only that, the last time he was over he drank my last beer and left orange Cheetoh dust fingerprints on my new microfiber couch. Oh, and I think the dog’s pregnant, too! I’m not letting that guy back in the house 'til he learns some damn manners… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![4JawChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/f9ae1b/32.png) [@4JawChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4JawChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/34 "2007-04-08T12:28:16Z")
Dammit, quit posting! Quiddity Glomfester is tired of the same old axe to grind! Please only grind new axes… only completely new ideas. Quiddity Glomfester is tired… this has been done 5 million times before. What a creative name… Quiddity Glomfester. I love the funny location of Quiditty Glomfester… playing with Victoria… very creative. And the ‘rolling the eyes’ smiley is original, funny, and creative. Quiditty Glomfester: “Attacking my name and location… how original ‘rolls eyes’” Crinz: “Yer a fucking A-Hole”. Quiditty Glomfester: ‘rolls eyes’ Crinz: “Fuck you” Quiditty Glomfester: ‘rolly eyes’ smiley. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/35 "2007-04-08T12:40:16Z")
(Sitting at a desk, reviewing Gods resume, Him in a chair in front of me) “OK, we’re looking for the strengths you can bring to our organization. Let’s see here, hmmm “little green apples.” Yes, that’s impressive. Well thanks for coming in. We’ll be contacting the final candidates for further interviews and we’ll let you know either way.” ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/36 "2007-04-08T13:16:28Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] As is my habit, I was only dealing in actual entities such as the [Guaranteed Overnight Delivery](http://www.blwnscale.com/blwphotos/blw-ptrlr-god.jpg) trucking company (Eastern U.S.). [/QUOTE] I wonder if GOD subcontracts anything to [Covenant Transport](http://www.covenanttransport.com/)? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/37 "2007-04-08T13:22:20Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] I can’t think why anyone would continue to believe in Guaranteed Overnight Delivery. [/QUOTE] _Believe_ in them?! I’ve _seen_ them, I tell ya!! And they’ve got a cool phone number. 1-800-DIAL-GOD. I kinda like the idea of an overnight delivery service that also offers telephone communication with the Almighty. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/38 "2007-04-08T13:25:11Z")
[QUOTE=cochrane] So, I’ve got a question. Can God nuke a burrito till it gets so hot even He cannot eat it? [/QUOTE] Yeah, but then He gives it to His Son, who’s got twelve starving friends who’ll eat _anything_. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/39 "2007-04-08T13:36:11Z")
[QUOTE=Klaatu] There are no original ideas left, we just find creative ways to say the same shit over and over. [/QUOTE] Just say over there left we same shit are over and the ways find are ideas to original. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162/40 "2007-04-08T13:58:55Z")
[Quote=crinz83] This thread was created to pit a mythology that is so pervasive in our cultures. [/Quote] If you put a ‘Fraternal Order of Police’ sticker on your car window and you get pulled over for speeding, the officer will let you go with a warning? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bash-god-thread/399162.md?page=3)