# The BBQ Pit Virgin Registry **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 18, 2000, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822 "2000-05-18T01:43:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/41 "2000-05-19T10:01:02Z")
Being a newbie, I guess I can’t help being one thus far. However, I don’t doubt one day my…uh…mouse will slip and I get my cherry popped totally by accident. (Why does _that_ sound familiar? :rolleyes: ) ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/42 "2000-05-19T11:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > **funneefarmer** : A single transgression hast thou, but forgiven it will be. Rejoice in thy purity and sin no more. > > \*\* My one post currently resides in the pit because it was sent there from GQ. Honest, you gotta believe me. I’m fresh meat, I tell ya’. Unspoiled and undefiled. Now that I think about, anyone care to defile me ? I’m easy… ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/43 "2000-05-19T15:43:56Z")
Many Graces and Thanks for mine immaculate entry unto the little white book. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/44 "2000-05-19T16:26:56Z")
Saint opus: > [@](#): > > cmkeller: But a single moment of weakness have thee experienced. I did??? Could you link me to it? Maybe it’s a thread that started elsewhere and was then moved to the Pit? Or, to re-phrase… I search my body and fail to detect the sinful mark of flame. O holy one, couldst thou show me my evil way, that I might mend it? Chaim Mattis Keller ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/45 "2000-05-19T18:07:20Z")
cmkeller… [Why do you HAVE to have a credit card to rent a car?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=10359) It started out elsewhere, you can stop feeling for the sin on your body now. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/46 "2000-05-19T20:10:43Z")
Thank thee, funeefarmer. I am releived to see that I am indeed still unsullied. Chaim Mattis Keller ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/47 "2000-05-19T20:29:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > **Biggirl** : It is with a heavy heart that I must deny thee virginity. True it is that thee has never begun a pit thread, but fully eighteen times thy presence in the dungeons has been recorded. > > \*\* I have sinned and sinned and sinned again. The temptations of the Pit call to me still. Ah, to be able to join those who walk the righteous path and to deny the pleasures of the flame. But I am weak. I leave now to sully my eyes with that place of naked aggresion. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/48 "2000-05-19T20:53:26Z")
Oh no, I’m subvirginal! I didn’t think I’d ever posted in the pit, but I did a search and… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2000, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/49 "2000-05-20T03:13:38Z")
**KNEEL BEFORE ME, O SINNERS!!!** Forsooth, I declare unto thee that I am the purest of pure, the whitest of white, and the most highly exalted neutral poster upon whom your poor wicked eyes have ever had the pleasure of alighting upon! Yea, I say unto you, I have posted to the Pit not even a single time, yea, not even a post the size of the very mustard seed. Yea, and not only that, sinners, but I declare unto you that mine holy eyes have been defiled by the vision of this unholy vileness only upon a single occasion. Yea, for in my mercy, I did visit said board during one very slow evening at mine workplace. Yea, I did visit it, and it was then, even that evening, that I did declare, in my mercy, that all who did frequent the Pit should be cast out and burned forever! For I say unto you that I have not time for the Pit. Yea, it has taken me fully several moons to reach my paltry post total. And now, I declare unto you the reason behind this seeming apathy. For lately, I have been kind of busy at work, and I do proclaim that my boss, blessed be his soul, is kind of a jerk. For his assignments have left me very little time with which to impart mine great wisdom onto the Teeming Masses. Yea, and when I do get the time, I usually do only get to read the Great Debates and General Questions. Yea, behold, occasionally do I get around to MPSIMS. But never have I sullied mine self with the foul mists and vapors of the cursed Pit! Yea, and behold, I do proclaim that this is the sole reason for my Pit virginity. Yea, I do promise that there is no other reason. Honestly. For I say that there be no other websites that attract my attention. Really. I promise. ---
**Author:** ![speakeasy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@speakeasy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/speakeasy)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2000, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/50 "2000-05-20T05:41:15Z")
The Pit? Why yes, I do prefer full contact boards. But then I never claimed to be a higher form of life… ---
**Author:** ![HopelessIdjit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d78d45/32.png) [@HopelessIdjit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HopelessIdjit)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2000, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/51 "2000-05-20T08:21:52Z")
I’m a pit virgin too!! I feel the seduction of the dark side pulling me though… X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X [Neato quiz](http://www.thethirdshift.net/quiz.html) X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X ---
**Author:** ![the\_Scarlet\_Pimpernel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f1d935/32.png) [@the\_Scarlet\_Pimpernel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Scarlet_Pimpernel)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/52 "2000-05-22T11:20:36Z")
I confess that I have succumbed to temptation and visited that den of iniquity - but ONCE, father, and once only. I lurked for ten minutes until the scales fell from my eyes and I realized my sin and taint. Since then I have lived a life pure and holy, residing only in MPSIMS and the Comments forums. ---
**Author:** ![cygnus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@cygnus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cygnus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/53 "2000-05-22T15:56:33Z")
My spirit is uplifted, and my black hole sings hymns of thanks and praise. Off for more cloistered meditation. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/54 "2000-05-22T16:47:42Z")
All paise the purity of **as\_u\_wish** , the newest of the unsoiled. Guard thyself against temptation and revel in thy virginity. **dpr** : Thy transgression is forgiven; thou art pure once again. **Arnold Winkelried** : Thine cries of remorse touch my very soul indeed, and for thee I grieve. I shall sacrifice my first born so that thee may once again claim purity- in this act, I purge thee of thy sins. When future generations have sinned, they too may cleanse thier souls in the tears that flow from my heart. **ArchiveGuy** : It is not a sing to have posted few, for thine posts have born unto the lands of light & knowledge, rather than the swamps of dicscarded condoms & cigarette butts. Make no mistake, thou art a virgin indeed! **HopelessIdjit** : Thou hast been cast out by the Gods! Thou hast been born unto sin, and lost thy virginity whilst still in thy mother’s womb. **the Scarlet Pimpernel** : Thy sin has been forgiven by the gods themselves, witness: phychic orgasms. Only the gods themselves could bestow orgasms upon thee whilst allowing thee to keep thy virginity. It is an immaculate conception indeed! The worshipers wait with baited breath to see if thee hast been blessed with the child of the gods. * * * opus- Comptroller of the BBQ Pit Virgin Registry ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822/55 "2000-05-22T17:45:38Z")
opus, I cannot find words enough to praise your mercy. Your munificience has no bounds. Yea, verily I hope that my example will serve as a shining beacon of light to other sinners tempted by that dark and evil forum. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bbq-pit-virgin-registry/19822.md?page=2)