# The bees are holding my car hostage **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 28, 2016, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344 "2016-08-28T23:33:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/41 "2016-08-31T22:53:58Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Really, now, surely they would just fill up with Bee Pee? _eschereal added to The List_ ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/42 "2016-09-01T00:27:16Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > For sure, they have the taste for human blood. When you get your car rescued, try not to think about them hiding in the vents and attacking you while you drive down the freeway at 80 mph. Or the one the that most likely will get into your ear and lay eggs in your brain. That definitely probably won’t happen. Probably. But wait… wouldn’t that make the car a… [Honeycomb Hideout](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GslqnRkJTE0)…? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/43 "2016-09-01T00:28:16Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > But wait… wouldn’t that make the car a… > > [Honeycomb Hideout](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GslqnRkJTE0)…? Yeah, yeah, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/44 "2016-09-01T00:47:52Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > But wait… wouldn’t that make the car a… > > [Honeycomb Hideout](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GslqnRkJTE0)…? It would make them a bunch of kamikasbees ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/45 "2016-09-01T23:07:04Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > It would make them a bunch of kamikasbees :: **snfaulkner** adds himself to The List:: ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/46 "2016-09-01T23:22:48Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > It would make them a bunch of kamikasbees Beeshido Code? ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/47 "2016-09-01T23:55:46Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > :: **snfaulkner** adds himself to The List:: I was quoting futurama. You guys were the ones who made the awful puns. 😛 But yeah, my name is and always has been at the top of The List. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/48 "2016-09-01T23:58:16Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Beeshido Code? See? Portmaunteaus like this (and kamikazbees) are funny. Puns are not. ---
**Author:** ![bare](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bare/32/471_2.png) [@bare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bare)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/49 "2016-09-03T12:41:45Z")
I feel your pain. I was clearing a former pasture of overgrown brush with a bulldozer, when a basketball sized Bald-Faced Hornet nest rolled into the cockpit, amidst the levers and pedals. I was lighting fast, but the bees were faster. I bailed, swatting half the nest off my body, leaving behind a trail of quickly discarded clothing and watched as my dozer carried on without me. The creek came to the rescue and trapped the runaway dozer, but not before dragging a quarter mile of fence with it. Having just filled the fuel tank, there was plenty of time for the neighbors to gather to watch and offer advice to a naked man, as the dozer wallowed and churned in the creek. A couple brave but foolhardy souls assessed the situation and tried to shut the thing off before it was decided that it was just wiser to leave the thing chugging away until it ran out of fuel or wallowed a hole big enough to drown itself. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/50 "2016-09-03T16:03:06Z")
> [@bare](#): > > I feel your pain. > > I was clearing a former pasture of overgrown brush with a bulldozer, when a basketball sized Bald-Faced Hornet nest rolled into the cockpit, amidst the levers and pedals. > > I was lighting fast, but the bees were faster. I bailed, swatting half the nest off my body, leaving behind a trail of quickly discarded clothing and watched as my dozer carried on without me. > > The creek came to the rescue and trapped the runaway dozer, but not before dragging a quarter mile of fence with it. > > Having just filled the fuel tank, there was plenty of time for the neighbors to gather to watch and offer advice to a naked man, as the dozer wallowed and churned in the creek. > > A couple brave but foolhardy souls assessed the situation and tried to shut the thing off before it was decided that it was just wiser to leave the thing chugging away until it ran out of fuel or wallowed a hole big enough to drown itself. Great story! ---
**Author:** ![bare](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bare/32/471_2.png) [@bare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bare)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/51 "2016-09-03T16:35:57Z")
Wish that was my only bee story, but bees and I go back a long ways. In my surveying days, three of us were surveying a new road. The new guy was brushing line with a machete at the bottom of the mountain. I was watching his progress through the instrument as he started whacking a tree. He’d take whack, stop. Whack, stop. I was wondering what was going on, when the tree dropped and the guy hit the dirt before the tree did. I hollered at my uphill partner and we beat feet down the mountain to rescue the new guy. Apparently, he was unfamiliar with the sound of angry bees and couldn’t figure out where that buzzing was from. As it turned out he was highly allergic. He was out cold, swarmed with bees. I sluiced the bees off best I could, and picked him up and hauled him up the hill away from the nest. He swelled up so fast we knew we were in trouble. My partner and I took turns chugging up the steep mountain packing the guy as far as we could and throw him down for the other one to try and force air through his throat. Dang near killed all three of us before we got him to the hospital. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/52 "2016-09-03T16:56:00Z")
> [@bare](#): > > Wish that was my only bee story, but bees and I go back a long ways. > > In my surveying days, three of us were surveying a new road. The new guy was brushing line with a machete at the bottom of the mountain. I was watching his progress through the instrument as he started whacking a tree. He’d take whack, stop. Whack, stop. I was wondering what was going on, when the tree dropped and the guy hit the dirt before the tree did. > > I hollered at my uphill partner and we beat feet down the mountain to rescue the new guy. Apparently, he was unfamiliar with the sound of angry bees and couldn’t figure out where that buzzing was from. As it turned out he was highly allergic. > > He was out cold, swarmed with bees. I sluiced the bees off best I could, and picked him up and hauled him up the hill away from the nest. He swelled up so fast we knew we were in trouble. My partner and I took turns chugging up the steep mountain packing the guy as far as we could and throw him down for the other one to try and force air through his throat. > > Dang near killed all three of us before we got him to the hospital. Cripes! One thing to think about - those were probably European Honey bees. If they were Africanized, he’d be dead. They attack in 10x the numbers. ---
**Author:** ![bare](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bare/32/471_2.png) [@bare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bare)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/53 "2016-09-03T17:16:58Z")
Fortunately Africanized honey bees haven’t made it this far north yet. We’re mostly troubled with Bald-faced Hornets and ground nesting Yellow Jackets. Honey bees can only nail you once each, while hornets can hit you with a fiery hammer time after time. I used to raise honey bees and never had to use protection other than a puff or two of smoke. The sting of a bee doesn’t even compare to a hornet slamming you over and over. Had a goat crawl into a junked car once and came out with a yellow jacket nest stuck on one of his horns. He went tearing though the woods with me in hot pursuit but I didn’t find him until he came back home a few days later. He was lucky to have survived. Heh, another surveying story… we were putting in a road and one of the guys took a dump on a bees nest. Again, I was watching from a safe distance when I saw the guy rolling down the hill with his pants around his ankles and bees hanging off his balls. He was able to walk back to the rig, but he was walking pretty spraddle legged. ---
**Author:** ![wickky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@wickky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wickky)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/54 "2016-09-17T03:25:07Z")
[http://www.gocomics.com/pickles](http://www.gocomics.com/pickles) ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344/55 "2016-09-17T19:14:39Z")
> [@bare](#): > > I feel your pain. > > I was clearing a former pasture of overgrown brush with a bulldozer, when a basketball sized Bald-Faced Hornet nest rolled into the cockpit, amidst the levers and pedals. > > I was lighting fast, but the bees were faster. I bailed, swatting half the nest off my body, leaving behind a trail of quickly discarded clothing and watched as my dozer carried on without me. > > The creek came to the rescue and trapped the runaway dozer, but not before dragging a quarter mile of fence with it. > > Having just filled the fuel tank, there was plenty of time for the neighbors to gather to watch and offer advice to a naked man, as the dozer wallowed and churned in the creek. > > A couple brave but foolhardy souls assessed the situation and tried to shut the thing off before it was decided that it was just wiser to leave the thing chugging away until it ran out of fuel or wallowed a hole big enough to drown itself. Good username/post combo! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bees-are-holding-my-car-hostage/764344.md?page=2)