# The best advice from a cannibal .......... ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523 "2003-12-02T16:41:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/1 "2003-12-02T16:41:37Z")
This just in from the [BBC](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3254074.stm): > [@](#): > > Armin Meiwes, the German who will this week stand trial for eating an acquaintance, has advised others not to follow his example. Does anyone else have better advice? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/2 "2003-12-02T16:44:36Z")
Don’t eat strangers either? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/3 "2003-12-02T16:45:51Z")
Thread title: “The best advice from a cannibal…ever.” Last poster: Munch. 😃 Daniel ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/4 "2003-12-02T16:49:37Z")
“Next time, fry with garlic, and deglaze with white wine.” ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/5 "2003-12-02T16:58:45Z")
If you’re going to eat someone’s liver, top it off with some fava beans and some Chianti. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/6 "2003-12-02T17:01:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Mr Meiwes told investigators he took Mr Brandes back to his home, where Mr Brandes agreed to have his penis cut off, which Mr Meiwes then flambeed and served up to eat together. The lyrics to _Oh I Wish I Was An Oscar Meyer Wiener_ should be assumed to have been crafted in a figurative and not a literal sense. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/7 "2003-12-02T17:01:53Z")
Wonder if he ate his bratwurst? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/8 "2003-12-02T17:03:15Z")
Worst. Beanie Weenies. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/9 "2003-12-02T17:08:57Z")
I worked with the guy the cannibal in the OP ate (Bernd Brandeis). [Here’s](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=174724&perpage=50&highlight=cannibalized&pagenumber=1) the thread about it. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/10 "2003-12-02T17:41:26Z")
> [@](#): > > German cannibal to write memoirs > From correspondents in Berlin > November 24, 2003 > > A GERMAN self-declared cannibal who says his victim volunteered to be eaten has told a Sunday newspaper that he wants to write his memoirs to deter other people from following his example. > > Arnim Meiwes, who is currently in custody pending a trial for murder, said he regretted what he had done. > > He told the Welt am Sonntag newspaper that his aim was to deter people “who have similar instincts.” > > “They should check in for appropriate treatment and talk about it, so that it doesn’t escalate like it did with me,” he added. > > Meiwes, 41, has told investigators that he thinks that the German cannibal scene numbers some 800 people. This last paragraph is what worries me. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/11 "2003-12-02T17:44:48Z")
Hmm…I thought my new signature was kinda funny…heard it last night from an Iban on National Geographic. We are just big monkies after all… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/12 "2003-12-02T17:53:58Z")
_Be careful Dear, you may find a bone._ ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/13 "2003-12-02T17:55:49Z")
The text of his business card: ``` Arnim Meiwes ``` Soylent Green Producer ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/14 "2003-12-02T17:59:01Z")
Wow, talk about freaky. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/15 "2003-12-02T18:05:17Z")
Bwhaa! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/16 "2003-12-02T18:31:28Z")
“Always be as tender-hearted as possible. It’s just consideration for the next fellow.” 🙂 Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week… ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/17 "2003-12-02T19:46:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by devilsknew \* > \*\*This last paragraph (“Meiwes, 41, has told investigators that he thinks that the German cannibal scene numbers some 800 people.” in case you forgot) is what worries me. \*\* Don’t worry. There are fewer of them all the time. ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/18 "2003-12-02T19:48:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > \*\*Don’t worry. There are fewer of them all the time. \*\* I would say there is less of them. (“A cannibal like that you don’t eat all at once…”) ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/19 "2003-12-02T20:52:20Z")
Southpark said it best: “Dude, German people are f—ed up!” ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/20 "2003-12-02T21:04:56Z")
Actually, I think the quote is “What the fuck is wrong with German people!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523.md?page=2)