# The best advice from a cannibal .......... ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523 "2003-12-02T16:41:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/21 "2003-12-02T23:24:30Z")
I must disagree the best advice you’ll ever get from a cannibal (though he prefers the term incorporator) is contained in To Serve Man- A Cookbook For People by Karl Wurf. ---
**Author:** ![Capcha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Capcha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capcha)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/22 "2003-12-03T01:01:14Z")
We humans existed for quite a while. We are overpopulating comparing to other species. It’s about time the hunter became the hunted! Euh…i was just kidding guys…put down the silverweare! ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/23 "2003-12-03T01:59:06Z")
“I can’t be trusted.” -Colquhon, from the movie Ravenous. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/24 "2003-12-03T02:12:55Z")
Betcha can’t eat just Juan. \ ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/25 "2003-12-03T02:16:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Meiwes’s lawyer has revealed that his client had four other guests in his home, but let them all go. > > “There was a teacher, a cook, a hotel employee and a student. He had them hanging from the ceiling head down and they had no chance of freeing themselves. One felt sick, the other didn’t want to go on, he let them all down.” This is the part that worried me. Why couldn’t it have been say, Jesse Jackson, Any Politican running for office here and Celine Dion. I would have spotted the guy Carrot top and some veggies… ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/26 "2003-12-03T12:50:16Z")
“Don’t go swimming for 10 minuites after you’ve eaten.” ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/27 "2003-12-03T17:36:12Z")
I wonder how he really knows about the German cannibal scene. One would assume that they don’t have get-togethers; otherwise they’d just eat themselves out of existence. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/28 "2003-12-03T17:42:12Z")
The other white, black, yellow and red meat. ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/29 "2003-12-03T17:49:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Actually, I think the quote is “What the fuck is wrong with German people!” “No one who speaks German could be an evil man …” ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/30 "2003-12-03T17:54:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\*I wonder how he really knows about the German cannibal scene. One would assume that they don’t have get-togethers; otherwise they’d just eat themselves out of existence. \*\* Probably an internet message board. Sticky-Disclaimer, we are not responsible for real life meeting of members. When you folks meet, one of you usually ends up meat. Sticky-One username per person. I don’t care if you’re wearing somebody else’s skin. You still have to post under your own name. Sticky- No Leet! Because is that the kind of image we want people to have of us? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/31 "2003-12-03T22:03:17Z")
\*\*Cannibalism: Good to the last Juan. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/32 "2003-12-03T22:25:39Z")
I once found myself wondering if humans actually _do_ taste like chicken, and thought “I need to find a cannibal.” Then it occurred to me that I am plump and juicy, and would probably taste good with butter and chives. I no longer wonder. ---
**Author:** ![everton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@everton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/everton)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/33 "2003-12-03T22:52:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Draelin \* > I once found myself wondering if humans actually _do_ taste like chicken, and thought “I need to find a cannibal.” Pork. It’s pork that people taste like, not chicken. FWIW, when faced with something exotic that the waiter claims tastes like chicken my response is invariably to ask “how much is the chicken”. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by andygirl_ > I wonder how he really knows about the German cannibal scene. One would assume that they don’t have get-togethers; otherwise they’d just eat themselves out of existence. The relevant item on the news just now claimed that there were plenty of German websites on the subject and that they’d calculated upwards of 600 people from the sites they’d viewed. They didn’t go into any details about what the calculation involved. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/34 "2003-12-04T02:34:24Z")
Humans taste like pork; in fact, I can barely tell the difference between SPAM and human flesh. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/35 "2003-12-04T03:42:21Z")
What _are_ you implying **DreadCthulhu**??? ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/36 "2003-12-04T03:49:42Z")
“Don’t put that in your mouth…you don’t know where it’s been!” ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/37 "2003-12-04T05:14:10Z")
Better advice, **Tapioca Dextrin**? How about these words of wisdom “Non urum ad ventum”… ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/38 "2003-12-04T05:17:14Z")
I would love to know how they calculated that. I mean, sure, they could have done something logical like get everyone’s IP address- inasmuch as that’s effective- but I would find it more hilarious if they just added up the totals on every board. ---
**Author:** ![everton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@everton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/everton)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2003, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/39 "2003-12-04T11:45:50Z")
Well I’d bet the second method is closer to the mark. 600-800 seems very high to me, and it doesn’t take account of how many people are interested enough to contribute to a message board compared to those who really would kill and eat another human being. [Here’s Stern magazine’s take on the story](http://www.stern.de/id/politik/panorama/510704.html), btw, which you might be able to read better than some of us. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2003, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523/40 "2003-12-04T12:58:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DreadCthulhu \* > \*\*Humans taste like pork; in fact, I can barely tell the difference between SPAM and human flesh. \*\* Hmmm…which of your mouths are you using? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-advice-from-a-cannibal-ever/216523.md?page=3)