# The Best Part of Waking Up Is Not Being Killed By Your Coffee Maker. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-part-of-waking-up-is-not-being-killed-by-your-coffee-maker/502573 "2009-07-10T16:05:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-part-of-waking-up-is-not-being-killed-by-your-coffee-maker/502573/21 "2009-07-13T01:43:23Z")
> [@horsetech](#): > > Hey, it’ll wake you up but good, won’t it? More effective than an alarm clock. If I’m awakened by grinding coffee beans, Mrs. Plant will have to get me off the ceiling with one of those tranquilizer dart guns that Marlin Perkins uses on wildebeests. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-part-of-waking-up-is-not-being-killed-by-your-coffee-maker/502573/22 "2009-07-13T03:01:46Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > If I’m awakened by grinding coffee beans, Mrs. Plant will have to get me off the ceiling with one of those tranquilizer dart guns that Marlin Perkins uses on wildebeests. So set it to go off during your usual shower time - less chance of you hearing it, and then mm, fresh coffee waiting for you right after the shower! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-part-of-waking-up-is-not-being-killed-by-your-coffee-maker/502573/23 "2009-07-13T03:21:25Z")
I require fresh coffee in an [autoinjector](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autoinjector), usually a large vein in my thigh. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-part-of-waking-up-is-not-being-killed-by-your-coffee-maker/502573/24 "2009-07-13T06:16:35Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > That thing sounds way too intelligent. It knows when I’m sleeping, how can I be sure it won’t try to kill me while I sleep? Ours just died, and it died a lot more quietly than yours did. Got a new one at Sears for $99. One good thing, you’re not captive to the maker of any type of pod. Bad thing - you have to clean the grinder every time. But it’s worth it to make from beans. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-part-of-waking-up-is-not-being-killed-by-your-coffee-maker/502573/25 "2009-07-13T06:19:49Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > But then I will be awakened by that Gawd awful punishing grinding noise that sends me and the dogs fleeing under the couch when Mrs. Plant grinds coffee beans unexpectedly. Mine sounds like a jet ready to take off. But better, since I’m not strapped into some center seat with my knees somewhere around my ears. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-part-of-waking-up-is-not-being-killed-by-your-coffee-maker/502573/26 "2009-07-13T15:27:15Z")
> [@Nanoda](#): > > I would encourage all owners of anything more advanced than a standard drip coffee maker to _RTFM and clean the thing!!_!! A co-worker had a somewhat expensive one die which I discovered was due to a one-way valve in [the pump](http://ulkapumprepair.blogspot.com/) getting stuck with mineral build-up, leading to the heater overheating and blowing the thermal fuse. > > I put a sticker on the thing after I fixed it saying to run some vinegar through it every few months, which is all it needs. Though I’d be interested to know why **Wile E** ’s decided to try exploding. I have no doubt that there may have been some build up in the coffee maker. I have no idea when I cleaned it last. But I have no intention of doing a post mortem on the machine, I’m not risking turning it on again. It seems like coffee makers only last a few years anyway. My last one, a Mr. Coffee, sprung a leak after a year. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-part-of-waking-up-is-not-being-killed-by-your-coffee-maker/502573/27 "2009-07-13T16:25:00Z")
**Wile E** , it could be worse–I once had a roommate with a toaster that occasionally liked to \*electrocute \*bread instead of toasting it. ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-part-of-waking-up-is-not-being-killed-by-your-coffee-maker/502573/28 "2009-07-13T16:52:21Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > The best part of waking up is a morning glory. If you know what I mean. I was once told by some Filipinos that they called the rheum that accumulates in your eyes overnight ‘morning glory.’ It was some time before I could keep a straight face long enough to explain why I found that funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-part-of-waking-up-is-not-being-killed-by-your-coffee-maker/502573.md?page=1)