# The Best Pit Rants **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2002, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094 "2002-06-03T05:11:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/21 "2002-06-10T11:22:32Z")
Shucks. ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/22 "2002-07-09T03:12:04Z")
OH MY GOD! I completly forgot about this thread because I thought no one was going to answer! That’ll teach me to have patient, yes!? Anyway, you’re welcome, Lieu. You’re one of most hilarious people here! 😃 BTW, I posted the MEBuckner one on my Livejournal. I LOVED it and so did everyone who read it! One of the best-EVER! \"Ukete](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=120051%22%3E%22Ukete), you are a fuckface of the highest order”\ is an unforgettable one to me. That was on hilarious thread! ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/23 "2002-07-09T03:48:36Z")
[Here it is](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=120051) I fogot that HTML was off here. Heh ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/24 "2002-07-09T05:11:46Z")
**black455** ’s [OWWWWWWFUCKFUCKFUCK](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=69015&highlight=stairs) rant about falling up the stairs. **Kantalooppi** ’s rant about the [poor dubbing quality of Agapio Racing Team cartoons](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=94986&highlight=Finnish) had excellent supporting links (especially the first one). ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/25 "2002-07-09T07:12:14Z")
[Fat people are out to get me](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=43476), by Skinnyguy. to the tune of _We Didn’t Start the Fire_: Beady-eyed infantile, ass-licking heap of bile Masturbating, gerbil-raping, syphilitic schmuck Circle-jerking cocksucker, driep-up dog turd, motherfucker Jag-off cheapskate, sorry sumbitch, tryene to pass the buck… and continues for about 12 verses, in 9 different languages, with links and footnotes. I was in tears. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/26 "2002-07-09T07:33:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DeniseV \* > \*\*For me, it’s **lno** ’s thread, [My rage burns with the fire of a million suns](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62082). I laughed so hard when I read this that tears ran down my face. Don’t miss his follow-up posts later in the thread, on Jerry Lee Lewis and on White Castle. \*\* Comedy GOLD! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ObiWan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47774/32.png) [@ObiWan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ObiWan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/27 "2002-07-09T10:39:46Z")
**THespos** ’s [WinXP - Just put a gun in my mouth, okay?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=105936) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/28 "2002-07-09T12:20:39Z")
In the same computer vein: [From the Book of Jeremiah (developers’ edition)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=121242) I thought I’d busted my spleen or something. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/29 "2002-07-09T23:57:42Z")
Another vote for **lno’s** [My rage burns with the fire of a million suns.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62082). And I didna even know him then. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/30 "2002-07-09T23:59:20Z")
_sigh_ Whatever. You saw the link to the thread already. ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/31 "2002-07-10T05:44:06Z")
Let us not forget: [The Prehensile Rectum!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=80957&highlight=prehensile) AHHAAAAHAHAHHA! ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/32 "2002-07-10T06:57:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jurhael \* > \*\*Let us not forget: > > [The Prehensile Rectum!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=80957&highlight=prehensile) AHHAAAAHAHAHHA! \*\* YES! That’s a great one. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/33 "2002-07-10T07:02:35Z")
The rant that made me Second Offical Rant Master: [Michael kvetches about shocking monkeys.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?&threadid=82292) ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/34 "2002-11-26T08:31:50Z")
[“The line is too long.” Another fun tale of customer stupidity](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=136001) A very good thread. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/35 "2002-11-26T09:12:06Z")
Oh come on, I killed this thread, so let it lie! ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/36 "2002-11-26T15:55:35Z")
This thread is exactly why I try to stay out of the Pit. I’m at work-- with hours skewed from everyone else-- and when I check out the board on a break or lunch I start howling! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/37 "2002-11-26T16:02:41Z")
[Stop reviving 2 year old threads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=146363) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/38 "2002-11-26T16:53:53Z")
I apologize. I believe I got here through a link from a recent thread. I didn’t mean to- but when you have several browser windows upen at once (and it was 2:30 in the morning too) you sometimes forget where you are, and many times I forget to look at the date when posting a reply. To paraphrase Istara. She took the words right out of my hands, actually. But it resembles what she said in the Pit, so I feel credit should be given. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/39 "2002-11-27T00:53:40Z")
One question. There was once a rant, rather a long one I think, that had no(or very little)profanity. It went on and on and was funny as hell. Of course I can’t remember the title or the poster. Does anyone else remember a rant like this? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094/40 "2002-11-27T15:24:36Z")
Sounds like something from **Nostradamus**. His are intelligent, witty and while there’s plenty of inuendo, there’s little that would make you actually cringe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-pit-rants/112094.md?page=3)