# The best response I ever gave to junk mail **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 12, 2005, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182 "2005-07-12T14:43:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182/21 "2005-07-13T00:10:45Z")
You need to do something to it that is not over the top. The cigarette burned eyeholes are funny, but I can see the rug being pulled out of circulation quick smart. I think just a good ol’ blackened tooth ('cept JC doesn’t smile a lot, does He?). Enhanced eyebrows at least. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182/22 "2005-07-13T00:27:52Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Do they look like [this](http://home.comcast.net/~AVanIngen/prayerrug.jpg) one? - sort of Osama Bin Jesus. That’s him! That’s who sent the plague (or is it plaque) of gnats upon me! Kneel on him **Mangetout** and his eyes will open. Ok, maybe you should print him out first. It might mess up yer monitor if you try to kneel on him from the site. I couldn’t deal with the plagues (or plaques) that would descend upon me if you messed yer monitor up. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182/23 "2005-07-13T00:30:34Z")
Oh…that’s so cheating. Look, you can see his eyes even _without_ being high…er, praying. -foxy ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182/24 "2005-07-13T01:46:24Z")
Yep, that’s the dude I burned. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182/25 "2005-07-13T02:01:20Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Do they look like [this](http://home.comcast.net/~AVanIngen/prayerrug.jpg) one? - sort of Osama Bin Jesus. That’s the gayest Jesus ever. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182/26 "2005-07-13T03:31:00Z")
I don’t understand why they claim the eyes will open. Wouldn’t it be pretty obvious that they lied when they don’t? ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182/27 "2005-07-13T03:34:31Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Do they look like [this](http://home.comcast.net/~AVanIngen/prayerrug.jpg) one? - sort of Osama Bin Jesus. I think Jesus looks a lot like Dakota Fanning from _War of the Worlds._ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182/28 "2005-07-13T03:59:40Z")
> [@monica](#): > > I don’t understand why they claim the eyes will open. Wouldn’t it be pretty obvious that they lied when they don’t? Ah…but if they don’t it’s because YOU didn’t pray hard enough, or didn’t have enough purity in your heart. Damned (snerk) if you do, damned if you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182/29 "2005-07-13T04:55:12Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > Oh…that’s so cheating. Look, you can see his eyes even _without_ being high…er, praying. > > -foxy Not only that, the “open” eyes are just about the creepiest, blankest eyes I’ve ever seen. When they taught us about the resurrection in Sunday School, they apparently left out the bit where Jesus came back as a zombie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-response-i-ever-gave-to-junk-mail/312182.md?page=1)