# The Best THREE STOOGES Lines! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 15, 2003, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418 "2003-05-15T12:11:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/21 "2003-05-15T19:45:23Z")
“How much would you charge to haunt a house?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/22 "2003-05-15T19:53:25Z")
In a related vein, I once heard a comedy song from the Stooges called “Swingin’ the Alphabet.” It involved a whimsical ABC song for a bunch of kids, skipping over some letters in the process. Does anyone know where that was from, and in what context? ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/23 "2003-05-15T19:56:55Z")
Enod! _Enod_. Septiheptihan! _Septiheptihan!_ Why you lunkhead! You wanna give me birthmarks? (Moe’s eating the potholder filled cake) Southern Comfort? Tastes more like Southern Comforter! ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/24 "2003-05-15T23:03:21Z")
This thread is busting me up! Now I’m jonesing for some Stooges. Not a line, but there’s a short where Shemp’s girlfriend puts a photograph of Shemp on a side table, and her cat sees it (it’s a particularly ugly photo of an atrocious-looking Shemp), and the cat arches its back and yowls and spits. ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/25 "2003-05-15T23:49:25Z")
_coiy-tenly_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mmhkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b38774/32.png) [@mmhkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmhkay)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/26 "2003-05-16T01:06:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > \*\*In a related vein, I once heard a comedy song from the Stooges called “Swingin’ the Alphabet.” It involved a whimsical ABC song for a bunch of kids, skipping over some letters in the process. Does anyone know where that was from, and in what context? \*\* Are you talking about the song that goes : B-A, bay B-E, bee B-I bicky-bye, B-O boe, bicky-bye-boe, B-U boo, bicky-bie-boe-boo D-A, day D-E, dee D-I dicky-dye, D-O doe, dicky-dye-doe, D-U doo, dicky-die-doe-doo and so forth with (most) of the other consonants. I don’t recall the name of the short but it was the one where the guys went to the girls prep/finishing school. This is the sort of useful knowledge I got from having a Three Stooges fanatic for a dad.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/27 "2003-05-16T02:36:58Z")
One no one’s mentioned yet: Curly (after a poke in the eye): I can’t see! I can’t see! Moe: What’s wrong? Curly: I have my eyes closed. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/28 "2003-05-16T03:23:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > \*\*In a related vein, I once heard a comedy song from the Stooges called “Swingin’ the Alphabet.” It involved a whimsical ABC song for a bunch of kids, skipping over some letters in the process. Does anyone know where that was from, and in what context? \*\* From the previously-mentioned “Violent Is the Word for Curly.” This question came up on the IMBD boards a few years back, and someone responed that it was already a well-known vaudeville song, and that it wasn’t written for the short. Unfortunately, IMDB has a shelf life of about six months, so I can’t go back and refer to it and tell exactly what it said. ---
**Author:** ![kawliga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ea666f/32.png) [@kawliga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kawliga)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/29 "2003-05-16T07:50:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CaptMurdock \* > \*\*“How much would you charge to haunt a house?” > > 😃 \*\* “How many rooms?” ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/30 "2003-05-16T10:05:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Earl Snake-Hips Tucker \* > \*\*Unfortunately, IMDB has a shelf life of about six months, so I can’t go back and refer to it and tell exactly what it said. \*\* Actually you can search any date. I chose “a year ago” and “older” and [ta-da!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=105315) There’s a link where you can listen to the Stooges sing the song ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/31 "2003-05-16T12:05:53Z")
“Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.” ---
**Author:** ![MSU\_1978](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@MSU\_1978](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MSU_1978)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/32 "2003-05-16T13:02:36Z")
Curly is frozen and he’s on a barbeque spit over a fire to thaw out. Moe is thinking out loud “Let’s see, 15 minutes a pound…\ we’ll be here a week!” Or something to that effect. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/33 "2003-05-16T15:10:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > \*\*“Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.” \*\* You know, this one actually got nominated for the Best Short Oscar. I’m still waiting for TCM to play it during their March “31 Days With Oscar” feature. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/34 "2003-05-16T15:59:59Z")
Curly: “Let’s go places and do things!” ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/35 "2003-05-16T16:13:53Z")
Curly: “I’m thinkin’!” Moe: “Every time you think, you weaken the nation.” And who can forget the short in which Moe (as Hitler), Larry (as Goebbels) and Curly (as Goering) plotted how Moronica would take over the world? ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/36 "2003-05-16T17:00:53Z")
“Anacanafranistan!” The pharmacy scene. ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/37 "2003-05-16T18:11:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kaylasdad99 \* > \*\*I believe the lads were at a fancy party (following their etiquette lesson), and Larry was crowded up against Moe, and boppin’ to the rhythm. > > Moe: Are you _dancin’_? > Larry: Are you askin’? > Moe: Yeah! > Larry: (takes Moe in his arms and goes cheek-to-cheek with him) Then I’m dancin’. \*\* I dated a scotish girl once, if we take “dating” to mean a few hours of hot and sweaty sex in Miami Beach, who told me this exchange between Moe and Larry is exactly how one asks a girl to dance in Scotland. ---
**Author:** ![Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knighted_Vorpal_Sword)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/38 "2003-05-16T18:40:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mmhkay \* > \*\*Are you talking about the song that goes : > B-A, bay > B-E, bee > B-I bicky-bye, B-O boe, bicky-bye-boe, B-U boo, bicky-bie-boe-boo > D-A, day > D-E, dee > D-I dicky-dye, D-O doe, dicky-dye-doe, D-U doo, dicky-die-doe-doo > and so forth with (most) of the other consonants. I don’t recall the name of the short but it was the one where the guys went to the girls prep/finishing school. This is the sort of useful knowledge I got from having a Three Stooges fanatic for a dad.🙂 \*\* **I** have the MP3 for this. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/39 "2003-05-16T18:48:58Z")
There was the one where Curly apparently went nuts whenever he saw tassels! The only thing that would bring him out of it was eating cheese: CURLY: “Moe!! The cheese…the cheese!!..woooo…woooo.wooo.” And Moe and Larry start shoving cheese in Curley’s mouth. Sometimes he was particular: CURLY: "No!!!..No!!!..Limberger!!! You have to see it to appreciate it. ---
**Author:** ![Splanky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@Splanky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Splanky)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418/40 "2003-05-16T19:33:44Z")
Just a head’s-up, you can download the ABC song on Kazaa. Obviously I wouldn’t advocate such a thing 🙂 Just search “Three Stooges”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-three-stooges-lines/175418.md?page=3)