# The Best TV Shows That Never Were **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 17, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166 "2004-08-17T01:03:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/1 "2004-08-17T01:03:30Z")
Anybody else just catch this? It was an interesting look at TV shows that either had a pilot that was broadcast and never sold, or the pilot was never aired. They showed about 45 seconds of the ill-fated American “Red Dwarf”. That was about 44.99999999999 seconds too much. For those of you who don’t like Scott “Quantum” Bakula in “Enterprise” should be glad “I-Man” or “Infiltrator” never sold. If they had, I can almost guarantee “Quantum Leap” would never have gotten on the air. In “I-Man” he’s a “superhero” who is drenched in some toxic chemicals which gives the ability to heal rapidly. That’s it. In “Infiltrator” he is working on a transporter (foreshadowing!) when he is fused with a spy satellite and becomes part-android, part-human. He actually says, “Beam me up, Scotty”! You think the shows on TV are bad now, be thankful these stinkers never made it! ---
**Author:** ![Helena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@Helena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/2 "2004-08-17T01:42:03Z")
I remember I-Man! (The pilot movie, I guess?) The cute kid from _Flight of the Navigator_ was in it. ---
**Author:** ![Just1Lurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c0e974/32.png) [@Just1Lurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just1Lurk)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/3 "2004-08-17T02:41:35Z")
IIRC Conan O’Brian, when he was a writer for \*The Simpsons \*, wrote a laugh-out-loud pilot that never aired. I don’t remember the name, but it starred Adam West and it’s apparently something of a legend in the televsion community. The creators of \*The Simpsons \* talk about it in the DVD commentary for the 4th season. ---
**Author:** ![Necro\_Romancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/50afbb/32.png) [@Necro\_Romancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necro_Romancer)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/4 "2004-08-17T02:53:00Z")
The pilot was called [Lookwell](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0196712/). ---
**Author:** ![aaslatten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f14d63/32.png) [@aaslatten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aaslatten)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/5 "2004-08-17T02:54:29Z")
There’s a funny little book called Unsold TV Pilots: [http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0806512423/qid=1092711162/sr=8-4/ref=sr\_8\_xs\_ap\_i4\_xgl14/104-5379255-9193549?v=glance&s=books&n=507846](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0806512423/qid=1092711162/sr=8-4/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i4_xgl14/104-5379255-9193549?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/6 "2004-08-17T03:43:31Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > For those of you who don’t like Scott “Quantum” Bakula in “Enterprise” should be glad “I-Man” or “Infiltrator” never sold. If they had, I can almost guarantee “Quantum Leap” would never have gotten on the air. > > In “I-Man” he’s a “superhero” who is drenched in some toxic chemicals which gives the ability to heal rapidly. That’s it. “That’s it”? Written right, that could be wildly popular, and is, as it’s the basis of Wolverine, the character that Hugh Jackman’s playing in the _X-Men_ series. I’m not saying the show would have been a smashing success but I don’t see where its premise is really all that bad either. After all, Jackman’s a huge commodity right now based almost entirely on his playing a pretty similar character. ---
**Author:** ![Dan\_Norder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@Dan\_Norder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dan_Norder)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/7 "2004-08-17T03:59:00Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > “That’s it”? Written right, that could be wildly popular, and is, as it’s the basis of Wolverine, the character that Hugh Jackman’s playing in the _X-Men_ series. Uh, no, the basis there would be the claws. The healing thing is just something extra they tacked on. Without the claws he’s just some guy who gets beat up a lot and tediously heals back to get beat up again. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/8 "2004-08-17T04:14:56Z")
When he was originally created as a villain for the Hulk, the claws were his _raison d’etre_, yes, but when he joined the X-Men, the focus shifted mostly to his healing factor and mysterious past. It’s a fundamental aspect of his character. He’s not just “the guy with the claws\*\*\*\*\*”, he’s “the mysterious guy with the claws that can’t be killed”. \*I refuse to acknowledge the horrible, horibble Origins retcon and the stupidity of the bone claws. ---
**Author:** ![Dan\_Norder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@Dan\_Norder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dan_Norder)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/9 "2004-08-17T04:41:15Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > He’s not just “the guy with the claws\*\*\*\*\*”, he’s “the mysterious guy with the claws that can’t be killed”. And the TV show being discussed had claws where in the description? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/10 "2004-08-17T04:48:45Z")
Infiltrator was aired as well. IIRC He was working on a teleportation device and teleported into another scientist’s lab to prove that it worked (he’d previously faked it with identical twins and the like). He teleported into the same space as the android. When threatened, he would transform (sometimes partially, sometimes completely) into the android. Naturally the man and machine could not be seperated without the plans which had of course been stolen by an evil scientist. The pilot aired as part of a package with two other shows. One was a sitcom about a retired spy. Other spies kept visting him. I-Man. His son and dog were also indestructible. But, all three had a weakness. They needed light to survive. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/11 "2004-08-17T04:57:10Z")
What I said was that the premise has had success in the past and it has. Nothing more. You may not believe that Wolverine’s healing factor had any part to play in his popularity but I do. Whether the show cited in the OP would have achieved the same levels of popularity is unknown (although doubtful) but I still maintain that it had some small chance if written intelligently. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/12 "2004-08-17T04:58:59Z")
…and after reading **DocCathode** ’s post, it doesn’t look like it was written with the slightest modicum of intelligence. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/13 "2004-08-17T05:18:16Z")
I remember watching the “Generation X” pilot. I was not surprised that it did not survive. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/14 "2004-08-17T05:21:34Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > …and after reading **DocCathode** ’s post, it doesn’t look like it was written with the slightest modicum of intelligence. That hurts, man. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/15 "2004-08-17T11:31:24Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > “That’s it”? Written right, that could be wildly popular, and is, as it’s the basis of Wolverine, the character that Hugh Jackman’s playing in the _X-Men_ series. He could run any faster, jump any higher, wasn’t any stronger. Although it didn’t say, I’m sure he could be killed. I’d like to see him survive a trip through a wood chipper. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/16 "2004-08-17T11:32:27Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > He could run any faster, jump any higher, wasn’t any stronger. :smack: Posting too early in the morning! That should be, “He **couldn’t** …” ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/17 "2004-08-17T12:13:03Z")
Getting back to the show _ahem_… Wow, there were a lot of stinkers there. Ethel is an Elephant? However, I did see a sliver of possible greatness in the American Red Dwarf. Of course, it would hinge on the their version of Rimmer. Daphne from Frasier was an decent choice for Holly though. I wonder if they did the “They’re dead Dave” scene, plus the sidewalk grit gag? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/18 "2004-08-17T14:08:09Z")
Genesis II: A scientist who has been preserved in suspended animation wakes up to find himself in a primitive society in the future. Writer: Gene Roddenberry. He filmed the pilot for this sucker _twice_, and couldn’t get a network to buy it. The Questor Tapes: Android with memory loss searches for his memory with the help of B.J. Hunnicutt. Wooden-faced acting ensues. Dune: After a failed attempt to make “Dune” with bizarre surrealist Alejandro Jodorwsky in Europe, O’Bannon returned to the US and began work on “Star Beast” (later retitled “_ **Alien** _”)… This guy went 99.9% broke filming the first half of Dune in Africa. He spent two weeks huddled on a friends’ couch in England and started writing because he had to do something. He wrote _Alien._ I always wondered what those dailies looked like… ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/19 "2004-08-17T14:35:32Z")
How about that sitcom with people in dog suits? :eek: How did that one even get the greenlight to get the pilot made? Oh, it was soooo bad… beyond bad, in fact. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166/20 "2004-08-17T15:39:07Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > How about that sitcom with people in dog suits? :eek: > How did that one even get the greenlight to get the pilot made? > Oh, it was soooo bad… beyond bad, in fact. [i}We’re Your Dog\* was the title. There may have been worse pilots made, but I can’t think of one. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-tv-shows-that-never-were/260166.md?page=2)