I’d have to say I’ve shared that particular daydream. My choice was also a fully endowed chair, though in political science for a conservative private school. The catch is they would have to call it the Karl Marx Chair. Hilarity, etc.
So, you’re going to give them an incentive to off the others on the list? 
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Hire financial advisors that primarily handle obscenely wealthy clients. Have them set up investments that pay you a salary (maybe annuities, maybe not).
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Hire the most bloodthirsty lawyer known to man and pay them handsomely to rip the guts out of anyone who tries to get to you, i.e. “I tripped and fell in your yard, so I’m suing you for 5 bajillion dollars” and the like.
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Give your relatives/friends whatever money you see fit, then make them aware that you have retained the lawyer mentioned in #2, so they won’t get any ideas.
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Move somewhere where there’s enough wealth that you wouldn’t stand out.
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Go on a coke and hookers binge that would make that United Way dude blush, just to get it out of your system.
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Hire a private security firm for myself and my parents. Nobody is menacing anybody.
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Buy several properties around the country.
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Allow family to live in properties rent free, but they’re still my houses. No gift taxes.
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Open whiskey distillery.
::Praying silenus wins the lottery::
By giving it to me. You can then live the rest of your life knowing you are the kindest, most generous person in the world.
In fact, forget the message board!
I don’t mind, but first:
please get financial advice tailored precisely to your individual circumstances from a professional!
Anyway I had worked for 34 years, almost all in jobs with very good pension schemes.
In their wills, my parents left my sister and I half a house each.
I already had a mortgage but no other debts.
The financial adviser said I should:
- make a precise budget of outgoings + income
- pay off the mortgage (because it’s hard to earn the interest you pay on that)
- have a main long-term investment (you can choose how much risk, income and growth to have)
- have some money immediately available ($10,000 ish) for emergencies
- take my pensions early (because of the specific schemes I was in)
After 6 months, all is well. 
Aww, man, you blew the execution! That line is supposed to read:
I spent most of my winnings on hookers and dope. The rest I just wasted.
J.
The taxman will not agree with you here. If you let someone live in your house for free, it is considered compensation. Corporations routinely get in trouble for letting executives live in company-owned mansions and failing to recognize that perk as part of their compensation.
A question then for those who understand the ways of taxes better than I. If I, after winning a bazillion dollars, set up trust funds for family members, would they be responsible for paying taxes on the principal investment, or only on what ever funds they took out from the annual return?
Executives are employees. Are your family members your employees on whose behalf you pay payroll tax?
Not in the case of relatives (although I guess if the FMV was obscenely high, you might need to file a Gift Tax return). But don’t try putting it down as a loss on your Sch E, either. 
Thank. Glee, for sharing that bit. I fully agree that each case is unique, but sometimes there are general principles that can be followed, and it’s nice to hear examples from those who are comfortably profiting from sound advice.
Met a high school classmate at my 40th reunion this year who had retired comfortably a year previously at age 57. He’d worked as a state policeman, in a period where our state (Oregon) had some fantastic luck with its retirement fund investments, and the legislature was generous. Loved what he had done for work, loved retirement just as well. Seemed to be comfortable in his own skin, and as confidently content as anyone I’ve ever seen. May it be equally true for you.
Most kind. 
I could have retired completely, but chose to work part-time (teaching chess, roleplaying and computer games ). It’s stimulating, gets me out of the house and brings in pocket money.
I think retirement can come as a big shock to people who haven’t prepared for it.
As somebody (Susan Ertz?) said “Millions long for immortality who don’t know what to do on a wet afternoon”.